Hey There

Suddenly i thought of my blog so i decided to check it out if it's still around. To my surprised, my very much abandoned blog still have readers coming in and checking out every now and then. Please do say hi to me, leave a comment or email me?

I guess i am still not over it about the privacy of my life. I am not sure which one is more creepy. Someone stalks me and I don't know about it and someone stalks me and I know about it. There's a saying, ignorance is bliss. I guess, not knowing is better than knowing it. I do stalk or do my little investigation on the internet, be it about my clients or people's background i would like to know, which mostly involving prospective other half or new friends. And that would also include erasing all the search history so that people wouldn't know about it. I mean no harm. It's just my curiosity that I want to feed. But kinda creepy to have people ask me, why did i restrict the viewing of most of the photo albums in my FB, in just less than an hour after I changed the setting in my FB. 

While honesty is the best policy, Honesty is not welcomed all the time yea.  I'm not sure whether i should continue on blogging. 

After 5 months....

Okay. I am still very much alive. Just the blog was sort of abandoned. Many times i wanted to update my blog, and i started typing, but in the end, it was saved as draft. Not that I am extremely busy and occupied. (I know there are emails, texts, messages, I've yet to reply. Keep forgetting to reply. thus abandoned!)

The thing is the fear of privacy being invaded online is getting on me. Some read my face book as if it's a book towards my life, although physically, the time spent to get to know me is close to zero. And yet, still want to claim to know be really update with my life, via my face book.

So, I've turned off most of my photo albums on FB and write really really random or vague status. Some people, still, interpret it in their way and asked me. Some noticed the missing albums and asked, did you turn off all your albums? It's sort of creepy to me. And i've yet to get over this fear.

The thing is, I don't mind. Facebook is open to people on my list of friends. Yet, some people really stalk up my page. That's quite scary to have come to my knowledge.

Okay, may be the people who stalks is just this one person who really get on my nerve which yet to discover my blog. I really don't mind people reading. Nothing really so personal that I publish online. But pretending to be close to me but reading so much about me, is really out of my league.

On another note, this is for a very old friend of mine,

        Haha! Didn't expect this from me yea. I'm good. Just very much busy with work. Really busy, which is good. U know, experience counts in my field and really thank God for really good boss who is willing to teach. Will be in KL in July for 2 nights, or less than 36 hours, in KL to attend wedding. Not sure if i even have time to shop for things that I missed out and not available here. Anyways, thanks for dropping by and left me a message. Take care!

C.

A Good Start - 2012

taken during Christmas

The Eve of the New Year wasn't what I expected. I was busy running around. Supposedly there was 4 stops that night, but ended up only 3 stops and luckily i stayed at the 3rd stop. the Wine plus companion plus the fun = hangover the next day and it felt like i was floating the whole day.

2011 was good to me. The things that were significant to me, were uncountable. It's really by God's grace and His blessings I am where I am today. I kinda miss 2011 and didn't want to let it go but gotta bid goodbye to welcome 2012. Knowing 2012 would be a better one, far better, greater, the next level.

So, to start off the year, right after the clock strike 12am, I was splashed with water by the lady hosts of the party and shoved with alcohol by the hosts. And I did something really funny and stupid. I hope it's a start to a new year.

"Every part of the world celebrates as the clock strike 12am at their continent. God look down and celebrate together. Declare the presence of God in your life in the next one year, be there in every step of your life, in every decisions you make, may it glorifies the Lord. May this be my prayer! Happy New Year 2012!" - Facebook Status

Cheers to 2012.

Runaway

yea, easier said than done. I don't have the courage to face it. I don't know how to face it. The brain says one thing but the heart says another. Instead of facing it, what I know best, is runaway. Although I've said, I have your back. But, to be honest, I really don't know how to have your back. And "I will always be there" seems to be taken for granted sometimes.

So, what I know best, is run a w a y . . . . .

Believing and Supporting

Few weeks back I've been thinking, what if you're thrown into a situation where it requires you to support even though you don't believe in it.

Months ago, in the midst of busyness with work over the weekend, I allocated the afternoon of the weekend to help gf's sister. She wanted to join a dance competition and in order to join, they need to send in a cover, a video of them introducing themselves and submit together a video of their dance. So, gf actually went around with her sister and the friends to do the cover for the DVD and later on I join them for the recording of the dance.

The dance, at the park, under the hot sun, to avoid crowd, was, hot, sweaty, and hot. GF trusted me so much with my skills, so I was there to record and all, together with them under the hot sun. Yea, and when we were taking a break, gf said to me, "so much so being supportive yea." Knowing they will compete with other countries as well, knowing it would be really competitive as dances all around asian countries would be submitting their dvds, knowing that their dance do not really stand out, knowing the camera lady sucks as well, knowing there would be not canggih editing and cropping and cutting and etc, they still took their time in preparing for their dance including what to wear and what song to pick to dance and practice the dance. seriously so much effort but they enjoy it. Well, knowing it would be one out of a million, what are we doing there?

I am not sure how would I react or how I am going to handle if my kids wanted to do something which I think it is quite impossible. Knowing the outcome would not be as idealistic as they actually think, knowing the outcome would be one in a million. I assured my gf, that it's not about the outcome, but it's about believing in them, giving them the confidence and assurance that they need as part of growing up, giving them the acceptance that one day, they will succeed as long as they don't give up. Well, said is easier than done.

Today, my gf asked me for my blessings. For something I don't believe in. For something I don't have confident in allowing her. I said "Sorry, I can't give you that blessings. I hope you understand..."

Really, easier said than done. Supporting them even though you don't believe in them. At last I understand how it felt like when parents don't agree with what I am doing or wanted to do. I don't get the support either for doing what they do not agree. But one thing which I am different from them is, I still have my gf's back. I'm not going to point finger and shout "i've told you so". But i told her, I have her back and i will always be there, whenever she needs me.

Still..... it's so hard to support even though you don't believe in it. Still, no blessings from me.