Decision II

Just within 24 hours, my younger brother was asked to pack and leave home to University and attend classes for the new course immediately. As it was my brother's out of home for the first time, I helped him to buy stuff and pack whatever he needs and even wrote a list of what he should buy when he arrives the new place. Since dad is accompanying him to go over, guys are just not as detailed as women in thinking of things that he needs to settle down. Well, although i've been coming back and out of home several times, I'm still not good in packing and bringing things that is necessary. the first thing that comes to mind is his gadgets. Cloth comes later....

the sun rise this morning..

I first came out of home 7 years ago, when i was only 17 plus. I came from a strict and conventional family, with my parents, as described as my younger brother, are antiques. Particularly strict on me, i used to think that they are just unfair to me. Before coming out of home and stand on my own feet, I've been to the cinema once only, I've never hang out with friends before, be it at the coffee shop or shopping mall, I've never been shopping with friends, and that was how my life is. And when I arrived the hostel on the first night out of home, i chased my mom away, told her not worry. I'm not excited about me having wings, but, look forward to life in college.

"Either you fall or you grow stronger"

My first semester was a disaster. As everything is new to me, even just hanging out with friends at the mamak also i will go along. For almost every night, i won't start doing my work before 11pm and I'm always sleepy in class. Even a lecturer asked whether i go clubbing every night. (&*^%# lecturer, can ask this kind of question. Who go clubbing every night??!!!) And my result, just enough to pass, without credit. It was terrible. It was as if, you're floating at the sea and the level of the water reach your nose that you hardly can breath. Parents was worried, dad called almost everyday during the following semester. And each call either end up with argument or I cried. Thank God, I graduated.

After looking at how restless, worried, troubled are my parents dealing with lil brother's matter, i finally realised how much important our decisions in life can relate so much with other people. the fact that we live in a community, the fact that we have family, means that we cannot make decision based on our own will and way, but making decisions from all angle and view, accepting different opinions and suggestions. When we were young, we look up so much for freedom, freedom to do anything that we want and not wanting parents to interfere. Whether it's about the course that we want to take, the so called love relationship that we want to build, the friends that we want to hang out with, and the way we want to live our life. But the truth is, whatever we do, if we fail, our parents have to clean the shit for us, and we still claim, that we are old enough to take care of ourselves.

can u see the image of the cloud that looks like a Mickey Mouse?

that tired face of parents having sleepless nights, the nagging and lecture of mom continued for few days as though a radio is opened 24 hours non-stop, let me see how much they love us, how much they care for us. And the once rebellious of me, fall and stand stronger, and they are still there for me, never give up, never leave me alone and continue to believe that, I will be successful one day. And i finally understand, either i fall, or i stand stronger.

caught the sight of rainbow....

In life, there is no right or wrong choice. there is only, what is the best to us, out of all the good decisions available for us. There is always a U-turn towards the end of the road, and there is always a second chance in life, but, whether does it worth it to take a risk in making decisions while thinking there is always a second chance.

Strike the best or a U-turn?

to be continued...

Decision I

Some weeks ago, a pastor speak of a message, and she began with a story.....

3 person of different citizenship were put into a jail for 3 years. 3 of them were given a wish, whatever that they wish for, just one, will be granted.

Man #1, "since my country is famous for its cigar, give me boxes of cigar". So as he wished.
Man #2, "I miss the women in my country, give me a gorgeous lady to accompany me throughout the term of imprisonment". And his wish, was granted.
Man #3, "Can i have a phone?". Of course, this was granted as well.

3 Years later, 3 of them were released.
Man #1 ran out of the main gate of the prison and shouted "give me fire, give me fire" with the cigar hanging at his lips.
Man #2, came out with the gorgeous lady, with 2 babies in their arm and one coming soon.
Man #3, had Mercedes and his men waiting outside the big gate. "I've made a lot of business throughout my term in the prison, thanks to the phone that was given."

Of course, you think the story was exaggerating. But that's not the main point. What the pastor trying to say is, "do you think what you do today, affects who you are, tomorrow?"

Life is full of choices, and everyday we have to make one. Whether it's about where we should have our meals or which college should we choose, does affect us, directly or indirectly. While one choice of life lead to a wider and good choices, one bad choice does make a big turn in our life. While people say, we started of with a white piece of paper and our parents shapes and colour the paper, in some point of our life, we, are the author of our own paper. As children grew older, we hold our future, we choose our path and we make our own decision.

A lot of people set an aim in life, or goals to achieve in certain age of life. First million in my account by age of 30 or a Ferrarri of mine parked in my house garage before the age of 40. While more down to earth people aim at more realistic goals, but no matter how realistic is the goal such as earning big bucks, owning a big company and a big house, these goals are still considered something that u think of when u day dream, if you don't work towards it. But certainly, the biggest achievement in life is not about the amount of money you earn or how much property you have, not about the amount of branded cars do you have or the public recognition that you get. While all these are so fragile, that today you have these, what if tomorrow it's all gone. Do you still considered yourself, successful in life?

While history tell us the steps and mistake that our ancestor made, it also teaches us not to repeat the same mistake and to be a better person. Country develops through the it's own history and the history of other country, but we, grow and learn from our own mistake and others. While the coward me don't dare to take steps out of extraordinary, often I'm cautious with my own steps, for i know, I don't afford to lose it. One Life, we all, have only one life.

One Life, what are you going to do with it?

A lot of people say, do whatever you want when you're young in age, when you're so naive and innocent. Whatever that can be, ranging from having puppy love relationship, to clubbing in clubs and disco, to climb the highest mountain or to conquer the world (the world or that little world revolve around you). That is when you find pleasure and fun that you will not get when you enter into adulthood. but to have such enjoyment, also need to see whether you have such capability. While a lot other people take things seriously with their life, some are not, or rather, some seek more of enjoyment in life than seeking things that is important in life, self equip.

self satisfaction or self-equip?

to be continued...

Unreasonable

I had been really restless since back home. Yeah, posts that i've made since back says it all. As i'm beginning to learn about adulthood and realise about what I am going to be one day, I'm more and more to fear of becoming a grown up. Although I'm soon becoming quarter century age, but because of the position where I'm in, i still consider myself still 'small', under the covering of parents and living under the roof of my parents and fully financed by them, while lots of my peers, already climbing the corporate ladder and earn their own money.

But it's not about fear of being a grown up, earning own living and having a family. What I'm fear most, is being a grown up lady/woman.

But still I am a girl. Yes, though I don't like what us girls always do, I still can't deny that I owned the so called gen of all the girls has.

The most general attitude that we have is we always say that we don't want but we actually meant we want. Dumb huh. How much we contradict what our heart wants with what the brain says. And a lot of times, i felt so stupid after saying what i meant the other way round but afterall, I still do it.

And the thing about woman is, they are famous with being unreasonable. How many times you explain that you are referring to the matter and not her, she still think that you are condemning her. Not a perception, but it's just woman.

How many times i've encountered this....

I'm at the main road driving and there was a woman waiting at the junction coming to the main road. How many times i encountered this. I stopped and let the lady, this woman just turned in without acknowledge me. I'm not asking her to thank me, but she gave me the feelings as if i have to let her, that i owe her this duty.

Or how many times when i don't hold the lift for people, if it's a lady, I'll sure get a stare from her. Well, guys will just hold the lift door. Well, isn't it a courtesy, or a manner to say thank you. or at least, don't give people that "you should hold the door of the lift" stare. But too bad, we don't have the culture here. (Maybe for them, they want the young one to respect them and insist that it's sort of, our duty. bleh!!!)

Worst thing is, if your girlfriend/wife ask you the most popular question, "am i phat??". If you say yes honestly, there she goes, "you don't love me anymore, that you think that i'm not pretty and slim like i used too....". -__-'''

getting on my nerve, though i'm a girl, i try hard not to behave like that, cause I can't even stand myself.

When there is love, there is a balance to strike. Thou love is the biggest of all, love doesn't give u the reason for being unreasonable.

She, "Why can't you just accept me as who i am, even when i talk ridiculously or when the things that i say hurts you?".
You, "that's different. what you've just said really hurts".
And the unreasonable one "why there is no more love around, to even forgive the ridiculous and hurtful comment of mine".
-__-'''

they are just being unreasonable, or in canton "da wang lei gong".

I just have to learn, to say what i want and not the other way round.
A Yes when I meant Yes and No when i meant no.

Waiting

It's raining again and I'm sitting comfortably in the office. yes, it's a good weather to take a nap, and hence makes me sleepy right now and had pushed aside my work and start surfing the net.

was still thinking about the question that the client asked me the other day, "are you married". No i replied. Oh, single and available. Well, it's single but not really available. The client am, i was told, still single. I'm not going to say the client is desperate but somehow the way she talked to guys doesn't represent her age and the attitude that she ought to have. Maybe she is being friendly, but only to guys. You will say that I have that kind of perception towards women in that category but, not, I'm not assuming an attitude towards people in that category. there is no wrong in being single, being married is not really compulsory in life, but study showed that married people tends to live longer that those whom are singles for life. No, i am not bias or having wrong perception, but i thought, being single can be happy as well. But it's just that i never seen a woman whom are single, successful in career and happy. And i'm not desperate, although a lot of people were saying that i should start looking for my other half but, I just don't want to be like those women. Be it that i'm single, I don't want to be stamp on my forehead as being desperate with sad life. So girls out there who are still single, are you scared?? haha. *smile* i'm still enjoying...

I read randomly on someone's blog, whom just left for further studies in overseas. read through her preparation before leaving just made me thinking again. My result is not out yet and everything seems so hanging where i cannot do anything at all. Dad has been reminded me several times to bring the winter coat to dry wash, but i never did. Still not too sure about the future, everything seems so stuck and all i can do is just wait. Future seems so blur but i know who holds tomorrow. When God open one door, He will open it all the way, kept repeating in myself, to have faith on the higher ground. I just want to shout out loud, that i'm leaving. An opportunity that i've waited for years. *cross finger*

So, exactly 7 years ago, I came out of home to further studies. Dad says, that makes me a half KL-ian. Hmm.. i'm not being doublestandard boasting or whatever u call that, but i really forgot some of the road in KK. Dad got annoyed by me kept asking which way to go last weekend when they insisted that i drive. Sigh, i really forgot. I can't think/plan the route virtually in my head. I really had forgot. Dad ,'you look like you're visitor in Sabah from KL'. O_o Shall let them drive next time. *hmmpf*

Now, while working, while waiting for result, I'm sitting for IELTS in coming 2 weeks and I'm planning where to go for holidays during the last 2 weeks of August. Still.. in planning.

for now,
God Bless you!

Untitled XVI

I was about to write about the incident that i saw yesterday while yum-cha-ing (afternoon tea) at the nearby yum cha place. But, fear came in. does FOE exist? does HR protects us? Now.. not so serious lah....

3 ppl came, supposedly to check whether the shop is clean or not, but just came a while. they, left with an extra envelope. Well, u know i know lah. i Fear my human rights not protected, i shall just tell the story as vague as i can lah. While there is no such provision exist, sometimes, it will exist just because of you. but that 3 ppl, I gave a nice shot with my eyes. One glance, all eyes meet... M16 shot. another glance... i read their names.

there was once....Saw the ppl patrol the pasar malam. the ppl wanted to buy a sunglasses and offered to pay. The stall owner gave as a gift. so good. should change field, so next time i can bring whole family go shopping free at pasar malam.

***

I had lunch with colleagues together with the representatives of firm's big client. Not too bad as I went with cousins. Lunch was okay, but was thinking whether we have to do this from time to time, to get connected, expand the network, so that the firm business keep running. Not talking about earning more profit, but just the necessary ones to run the firm. Yeah. Whether it's litigation or conveyancing field of law, we still need network of people as they have the possibility of becoming your client. So, it's alright that we all go to happy hour once in a while in the pub, as it's a training ground, to practise our ability in drinking, especially girls, that we need to learn so that we can protect ourself. Hehe.. just excuse lah right.. but it's true actually.

Overall, it was good. We had buffet, therefore, most of the topic of conversation was on food, which one is delicious and where can they get it. Other than that, the highlight was, the questions that they asked me, including....

"are you married? ". -_-"' No...
"are you from local?" -_-''' Yes...
"oh.. you're a chinese..." Yea... O_o

Bought a new chic-lit. hehe. "anybody out there". Had finished 2 books this holiday. So, while waiting for my downloads, i can fill the time reading the book.

enough of my ramblings.

Have a great Sunday tomorrow!

Childhood

It's time to update the blog again. bleh.

Am in the office doing nothing since morning, just waiting for my boss to sign the documents that i've prepared. In the mean time, i surf net, and reading whatever i can read (except for the XXX websites) and downloading all the videos that i want. *whisper* shhh, don't tell my boss. He will figure it out one day when he receives the bill with the amount of bytes downloaded from the Internet. But well, it's streamyx line that the firm has to pay every month, why not use it to the max??! haha.

So, for the last few days, I've been digging into friend's friend's blog, or friendster. Found out some really old friends or rather people that i've met before, including in tuition classes, primary school and secondary school. Some even got married also. But, the me still trying to hunt down people that bully me before. yes, I was bullied when i was really small.

Being short and tiny me, I wasn't the favourite people among my classmates in the class. Although some of the teachers like me, i think it's because i'm practically look like an angmoh lang or mixed blood/race kid and I was heavily active in co-cum but certainly dislike by fella classmates especially those who were of same race as me. Befriend with the minorities and the ones that are labelled as weirdo, I still have a friend whom still keep in touch till now. Just one.

I still remember, how i was bullied. Particularly one rich kid that likes to treat fella classmates and always, while distributing money, she would say "to you all, except for her", while pointing at me. Well, with the 20 cents or sometimes 40cents that was given by parents, I still survive through. But yeah, thank God, i still have a pleasant childhood and that didn't give a bad memories to me. i'm just eager to know, what happen to them today. they definitely will be surprise, the one that they bullied once, is doing well today.

Well, I thank God so much, that in between the one that being bullied and the one that bullies, I was the innocent one that always been bullied. I remembered well, there was a girl in secondary school, stick a long celotape on my hair and messed it up. While me trying to pull it out myself, the other 7 girls of her gang helped me to pull it out. Well, in the end, they just have to cut my hair, cause it was really really bad. Haha. years after we graduated, this friend found me through friendster and sent a message, said sorry for all the bad memories that she has given to me. Haha. being bullied actually, not as bad as being a bully.

Well, after 13 years. I kinda forgot how my fella primary school classmates look like. Apart from all the bully incident, I had great time, being representative in inter-class, inter-school and inter-state competitions. Well, I'm not a straight-A stud, but more of a balance in between co-cum and studies. I'm just blessed.

***

Recently I read about the 17 yrs old kid whom killed the tuition teacher's 11yrs old kid 5 years ago. Not sure what's in the mind of 12 years old but judging from the amount of stabs on the innocent 11 years old kid, 20 stabs.. it seems so .... can't find a word to explain. When there is not provision on mandatory death on teenager for murder, pardon upon King's pleasure was ruled to be not constitutional. What does a kid at the age of 12 know? Whose fault it that? Parents, the tv or peers influence? It's really scary to raise a kid today.

***

Just realised that the post is kinda long. Ty would say 'ya write essay ah??'. Well, maybe i'm in the preparation for IELTS test. Aiming 7.5 and above, at least. Bro got 8.0 band and the girlfriend's 8.5 band. Impressive huh. It's actually not that hard right? hehe.....

Alright... got to stop. It's 12 pm soon. Haha.

Untitled XV

It's has been 3 weeks since I came back to hometown. Nothing much has changed here and slowly getting used to the life here. Although i still don't like the traffic here, the slower pace even in the fast lane is quite irritating actually and some people can driver REALLY slow and some can be REALLY crazy. Apart from forgotten where is where and how to get to where, I'm all good, settle in for 2 months before flying out again, *hold my hand, say a lil prayer*, hopefully to UK in september.

the decision is not official yet, waiting for my result now, hopefully all pass with 55% and above. So, i didn't spill the beans myself but parents went around telling people unintentionally, that I'm flying off this september. Air tickets were booked, passport were checked and winter coats were asked to prepared by parents as well as sterling pounds were changed as preparation for me to leave to UK. scary isn't it. of course, there are negatives thoughts inside but i push it all, and have a little bit more faith day by day in God. He certainly have great plan instore for me.

At the mean time, I'm working in the same firm. Sometimes i'm really busy with paper work, sometimes i'm busy surfing net and downloading (while there's no work for me). Went back to mom's hometown last weekend and it was a good rest back there. Now, in planning whether to go HK or not, for shopping as i need winter clothes, and i didn't have enough of shopping the last time i went. Not going to disney land, definitely not, if i'm going alone. hehe.

So... i've finished Ps, i love you and My best friend's Daughter. Currently, hunting for new chic-lit, which i didn't have the chance to go bookstore. Just lazy.

Got to stop to continue work.

God bless, have a great week ahead!

Heya

On Valentine's Day during Land Law class.
Not that the class was bored,
just that the bear is so cute and,
it wants to learn land law as well.

The best time of the academic year, other that the first week after our semester break ends where everyone met each other and lots of catch up to do and hanging out together, another time of the year that i enjoyed most is the exam period, the final 2 months before exam. You must be thinking how crazy I am, not wanting to enjoy life and spend time by wasting it, every minute and every hour of the 2 months is precious, and it makes everything looks more precious. There was so much to read, so much to read again and so muuuuch to read and little time for friends and family, and that's when we appreciate each other the most.

People say we save up a lot during exam period
cause we just stay at home and 'eat books'.
Well, a lot of money spent on keeping me awake,
keeping me awake and keeping me awake.
Thanks to Brands, M&Ms, Nescafe....

I remember during the preparation for Year 1 exam, every night, almost every night, me and Ty put on the webcam together and study. It didn't feel so much as if you're alone. The whole night, the webcam is on, and, we had discussion instantly. And this is the month where my phone bill raised drastically, consequence from calling and sms-ing friends about revisions and questions.

One of the study time together at my place, which at last all ended up lying on the floor together and start chatting. Well, it's Ty who started it first, didn't study much and took nap. I can't help it but to disturb her, which later yeng joined us and 3 of us.. chat together and not studying.

In the final two months of Year 2, the same gang of us, still, studied together, had group discussion and long calls to discuss and explain. While every minute counts, the time over the phone asking how are you doing became so much appreciated, as you know, friends really cared. Not many people know the struggles and the challenges that we faces as much as those that involves in it, and we, while trying to stand still, also try to help others not to fall but continue to lift others up and continue walking.

One of the way to memorise notes is to keep writing
the same thing again and again,
and writing on paper with pen is a tiring job and waste paper.
So, Sy and I had the white board to write on
and placed the pig in front, as student.
As we are too busy studying, we didn't bother picking it up
from the floor and, it read trespass for 3 days and 3 nights. Haha.

Many times i wanted to break down and cry over it, many times i felt as though it's so hard to carry on, many times I felt so much alone that my legs are so heavy that i could not carry on, many times i felt so restless and so tiny as compare to others. As much as many times, i tried to memorise the same thing again and again, as i thought i didn't memorise the notes well and many times, I thought that i'm not good enough, that i'm not going to make it, as good as i thought.

Steamboat after the internal programme exam ended
and at the same time was the first day of my paper.
Still have time, for steamboat and hangout. Love it.

But, friends were always there to encourage. Some offered encouragement by texting petrol or oil, so that i will carry on. Some, encouraged by texting words of encouragement, that somehow lifted up my spirit. "You know it one you know, you don't have to remember words by words", "delivery petrol to you, jia you", "don't worry, you are not alone". Those words kept running in my head, reminding myself not to give up but to strike the best. And most importantly, the 10 fingers prayer, I can do things thru Christ who strenghthen me.

this is not by a lil kid, but Sy. She's just trying to draw a fish,
which she's still learning it. haha.

Now, while waiting for result and some of my friends will resit some of the papers, those spirit and strength that we had once, i hope will continue to lift them up, brighten them to continue to strike their best. Not that they are not good enough, it's just that they are almost there. Like what i've told Sy, you almost cross over to next door. It's just another step to go. So guys, all the best and strike the best you can!

Wrote this to myself, as to encourage myself.
It's still depends on you, to have the confident in yourself.
No matter how, we still need to pick ourselves up and continue walking.
I myself cried before during the exam period,
but, I still carry on, we all did, as we have each other.
So people, don't stop, never give up!

Just-some-girl

It's been a week since i came home. Still can't get used to the life there especially adapting to the slower pace of life here and with parents around. Luckily, working in the firm can kill the time, plus earning some pocket money.

Other than the difference in the time of sunrise and sunset, the biggest difference of all, is being to live with family again. I've been staying out of home since 7 years ago, most of the time i'm out there. Can't deny, I like the life of being out there, coming back home meaning my shoulder is heavier and more responsibility, which sometimes, i can't even cope. Sometimes i really wish that i'm a superwoman, but the truth is i am not. To lots of people, i'm strong and independent, to people, i'm carefree and happy-go-lucky, but yeah, that's only when some of the time. I remember i cried a lot the first week i came back during last holiday. Much issues not solved and till now, is still not solved. Growingly tired, how i wish i can run away. i can't just close my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened.

No, it didn't teach me to be stronger nor it did grow me into maturity. It makes me realise how actually i am not that capable in the eyes of people and my credibility is actually, lower than what i thought i was. And with the burden that is placed on my shoulder without expecting me to solve it, i more and more wished that I've never grown up, I've never known so much, and I've never be the person who I am now.

People expect me to be understanding, to take it maturely and to be considerate. it is as if i'm standing in the middle of a crossroad, where people from all direction throwing burden on me and trying to drag me towards their direction, which i try to stand still not wanting to move but instead they rip me off hurting me physically. Why is it so? People just don't realise it, that they are hurting the people around them.

Can i be irresponsible? Can i just fly out high and pretend that i don't know? Can i act immaturely and run away?

I'm not typing this to seek attention. Nor asking for comfort or sympathy. My words uttered from my mouth is unreachable. i can only type it out. what it takes so that people will listen to me? is it measured by the wealth that i have or my status in the society or the amount of recognition that i get or the good deed that i've contribute towards the society. is it just because i'm some girl. Just-some-girl pleads and begs so that she can stand out and voice her opinion and view, which is stupid and unreasonable in the eyes of the people.

But people has forgotten, that they were once... 25 years old. or either way, they were whom they are now when they popped out of their mothers' womb.

The Night

For those who missed the night, this is for you.

The night started at 6.30 pm with the arrival of guests. Because of traffic jam, i was on the road for an hour plus picking up fella friends while tracy, waited at the ballroom for an hour plus. It started 8.15pm, started with performance of dance. Later, Sum performed by singing "You Raised me Up".

Group photo, before we finish up the food.

Does this look like a normal 10 course dinner to you? Nope actually. It's buffet. We made the guys to take food for us, plates of dishes and after getting all the food, we gathered and have dinner together. People were amazed by our cooperation. hehehe.

The main performance of the night, by paper doll. The guys in our table, all were molested by them except for darren.

The man, was dragged up to the stage to dance together...
but more like, being taken advantage...

the host, Mr Lecturer

Sam, Eric and Me...

Chun Chiqs... all single but some are not available...

From our class, Year 2 of LLB

Hope you enjoy. For those who did not attend, we miss you guys so much.

Now and then

Exam's finally over and suddenly, you don' t know what to do the moment you wake up. For the past 2 months, the moment I woke up, I hurriedly had my breakfast and bury myself with books, notes and papers. And now, the moment i wake up, it make me think a while, what day is it today, and what plan do i have today.

During the revision period, it seemed like there are lots of new movie showing in the cinema that I've missed out, the shopping and as well as the normal stuff that i usually do, hang out, window shopping, visit the night market and so on. And there's blog to read, and stuff to update in my blog. well, after exam, quite a few of these I've accomplished. it's like changed of lifestyle radically. Sze said, the day after exam, she wants to sleep for 2 days. And me, went out for lunch and movie right after the exam, and reached home only 10pm. crazy but it's holiday.

So, after exam....

We had bahkuteh...

We went for movies, Pirate of the Caribbean 3, Shrek 3, Fantastic 4 and the lousy Man in White. No offence, but really, please don't watch Man in White.

Other than bahkuteh, in a week time, I had meals in Chilli's, Manhattan Fish Market, Genki Sushi, Sushi King and until, i've got indigestion problem that today, I didn't eat anything but only the glutinous rice this morning and some coke and sour plum in movie this afternoon. And, i'm still not hungry....

Oh, started to read "Ps, I love you" from beginning, as I've forgotten what the story was about if i were to continue from where i left it. Yea, I started reading this book a year ago and i still haven't finish it and yet, i bought another chic lit 2 days ago, hihihihi, "my best friend's daughter". Was advised to read books of Jeffrey Archer, but.... just not my type.

I'm planning to go back to hometown next week, after the party of the year this Friday. Not sure what plan do i have back at home, but definitely going back to work, to pass the time and earn some pocket money as well as experiences. thinking of going back home.... sigh.... will have a boring life. After 7 years here in KL, have my network of friend and the life that i enjoy here. So, for the 2 months at home, i shall be a good girl at home.

Alright, got to stop now. Time for C&C 3 a while before going to bed.

take care, God Bless!

(photos will come later... took quite a lot, especially during the past one week after exam)

3 Days

Countdown, less than 3 days to my first paper.

Having a break now.

Not really enjoy memorising, just can't wait for exam to over.

Well, all the best people!

Untitled XIV

Troubled. Heart pumping so fast. Concentration Gone. Adding all equals too stress.

Man just can't run away from problems and everyday we face challenges.

Why, we asked.

life is about choices and every decision is in our hand, but why is the heart doesn't want to cooperate with the brain?

Exam is coming, and I'm running as fast as i can to meet the target of the day. Well, often, the plan fails and day by day, I'll say, I'll get it done by tomm.. and everyday i say the same thing.

I'm still a human, with feelings. can't run away from problems, can't run away from other matters that i need to face.

I can only pray hard. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.

You ask me, does it work?

Why not you try?

***

My papers...
31st May - EU Law - 2pm
4th June - Tort Law - 9pm
8th June - Land Law - 9pm
11th June - Law of Trust - 9pm

if you happen to think of me on mentioned date, please say a lil pray for me.

(having a break now... still can post.. meaning.. i'm still fine.. hahaha.... )

I Pray

a lot of times, in many occasions, sad or happy, we seek people, whether to share the sadness or double the happiness.

and in some of the times, people does not understand the disappointment that we are going through, the challenges that we're facing and the crucial moment of that point of time that is waiting for us. people may not understand too, the satisfaction that we have after fulfilling something, or the moment of gladness, or the joy that is brought from strangers to you that no one can understand.

when no one can understand, when no one seems to fit in the situation that can fit well in your shoe and feel for you, when no one can say a word of comfort that really ease that pain or word of encouragement that can lift you up, the only person that can help yourself, is you. whether you choose to sit longer after a fall, or continue to run, it's your choice.

in times of struggle, when you build your foundation so firm, or you thought you have a foundation firm, just one word of discouragement from others may break you up. in times of trying hard to stand up and not to allow myself to fall, just one word from others may tend to break u down.

I can only pray, and seek strength from Almighty One, for not by my strength but His. not by my might, but His.

And I pray, may you draw strength from Him, for He, loves you the most!

Much Contended

I had been thinking, and in fear as i wait...

At my age, there is people that earned their first One Million dollar.
There is also people that already got married and have kids.
There is also people, started their career and climbing the corporate ladder.

And those that is younger than me, not even received their golden key towards freedom yet, but fly even more higher than me, further than me, having more freedom than me.

Now i'm not complaining....

Last December, i was back at home during the break. After a wedding dinner of a close friend, a group of us went to yumcha together. nice cool place to hang out, and the group that I'm with, was my lil brother's peers. *grin*. And, dad called 3 times just to findout-makesure-askmetocomebackhomefast. It was 10 minutes gap in between the calls and 2 of the friends actually shouted over the phone "don't worry lah uncle... she's fine....". -_-'''

If you know me well, i have curfew too. 12.30am for festive season. 11pm for normal days.

I am really not complaining.

I know I'm very much a spoilt girl of the family.

I'm very much contended with what I have now....

I am just.......... afraid that my dad calls. Cause that stupid school sent warning letter to my dad. I didn't attend any revision class conducted by the school.

%*#**&*#*$*&^#*$&*#&

Pray that my dad don't scold me.......

It's Me

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Hey you

Sometimes life is just like driving through the straight highway, we didn’t take time to drive slowly and watch the scenery around, rather, drive through it fast, hoping that we arrive the destination faster, just like fulfilling our dream to come true, but we forgotten, the things that we’ve neglected.

It’s been a month plus I’m in battle with the books. After the honeymoon last semester, I started get serious with studies and coping up with whatever that I’ve left last semester. How much I’ve covered now, how much more left to cover? I really don’t know. I just know, I’ve neglected lots of people around me.

-In the library this morning-

How are you?

I wanted to ask.

It’s always the universal answer that seems to slip in as excuse for the responsibility that has been neglected, for omissions and duty to care that is not fulfilled. And sometimes we take it for granted, thinking, people will understand, I was busy.

-M&Ms.... a must to burn midnight oil every night-

It’s been a while.

Today, after a month plus hiding at home, we had a group discussion for the first time I think, every since this semester starts. Everyone’s been up to different subjects and topics and we didn’t discuss much in the end. I didn’t do much as well, was busy catching up and keep in touch with friends. Talking from how have you been lately and what you’ve been up to, to hot news in the college and to family related busy body news.

-the breakfast today, with Anson, Tracy and yeng-

I miss you much.

Everyone is talking about plans after exam. Parties definitely part of it, holiday plans, working plans and etc. Some looks forward to the holidays. Some looks forward to the coming semester in UK. But well, whatever plan there is in mind, what I really feeling is, the semester is coming to an end and after the exam, whoever that is staying, staying. Whoever that is leaving to UK, leaving.

-newly bought headset, without the bear of course. both are yeng's-

Phone calls are within reach, messages are just within seconds. But…

And me, is leaving too. Praise the Lord, I’ve received conditional offer to one of the good Uni in UK. Though the condition is a bit higher than the other offers given to me, but it stretches me to move a bit forward, forcing myself to dump in more effort, moving me to the higher level, set me to a higher target. Pray that I pass with flying colours.

Hope you’re good.

It was a long day, after the study group and dinner at Auntie’s place, now I’m back home lazying. Watched the Malaysian singing competition just now with Auntie’s family and I actually sent my votes 3 times. Man, I didn’t even vote for election just few years back when I just turned the right age to vote. Yeah, I voted because that guy in the finalist is from Sabah. Hehe.

Got to go now. Tired.

God bless you, Have a Blessed Sunday!

Impossible

Man says impossible, but God says thru Him, everything is possible.

In times of trial, where you strength, mind, heart and spirit is trying to expand beyond its capacity, hold your faith upon Him and draw strength from Him.

In times of battling with studies, I remember, to thank Him for all He have done.

May you be strong, reaching the impossible, for sky is the limit and He's always there for you.

God bless!

Celebrate Us

I know we're in the midst of preparation for exam, but, other than covering ourselves with books and munching notes, we saved some time out for the boys. yeah, Anson's and Sam's birthday!!

it was fun. karaoke, food and cakes. Best thing was, everyone sang songs together, though all in different tune and the people without mic seemed to sing louder than the mic. well, we had fun. I had a great time!

L-Anson, tracy and Darren. R-Audrey and Sam... pretending...

back to camwhore

one family

Sam... 21st

Anson.. make a wish

life is full of choices, to decide for yourself what you really want. not all choices are good or works for us, but when you have made one, that is the best choice for you and you do nothing but make sure you reach your destination.

Not all road is straight, smooth and clear and not all journey of life is easy. But it makes us stronger, in facing circumstances each day, knowing that we have friends that support us when we stop by the road side or when our tyre puncture.

When you almost give up, when you think that you're already burned out and wanting to make a U-turn, that's when you have to tell yourself, "don't stop, never give up!!".

happy birthday Anson!!

Untitled XIII

It's Saturday again. Another weekend planned with books and books.

Past one week was, kinda productive. Managed to keep up with my own study plan. Not progressing fast, but at least, it's moving.

Yesterday I had 3 lunches in 3 hours time. Got up early at 7am, yeng and I attended court case for a friend, to hear the ruling of a case, in Shah Alam High Court. Was there at 9am waiting. Managed to go cafeteria to have a quick breakfast. Then came back to the court and waited again. After an hour and a half, the clerk says, judge in chamber. Urggh. As I have to explain to my friend, the judge was lazy to come out to the open court and lawyers have to go in one by one when it's their turn. So, we went back in disappointment.

That is what young lawyers going to do in the early years of working as a lawyer. wait and wait and wait outside the court. in the end, wasted half of the day when u can do so many things there. Well, the only thing that is beneficial is you can extend your network of friend outside the court while waiting.


***

It's about a month and a week countdown to exam now. Not in stress, enjoying the studies. Anyway, better get back to work now. Have a good week ahead!

Fade Away

Suddenly it seems that it's gone.

What did I do?

Sparring seeds among the rocks instead of soil.
And as things revealed one by one, by itself,
it seems like me building a foundation on the sand instead of on the rock.

Do you call it bad investment?

No! It's heart of the man that is hard to grasp but God's heart are the one we have to pursue, for He never fail us.

I guess, different perception and intention does make a big different, rather than pursuing things for yourself.
Investing life for Eternal one seems more beneficial in terms of heavenly treasure, rather than investing for the sake of ourselves, to feed the greed and desperation of human.

Easter Sunday

It was a great sunday yesterday, celebrating the Easter, and celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I woke up as early as 8am in the morning, getting excited to go church, but I'm still late for the 10am service. Had breakfast with brother and siew yeng, which i don't normally do in KL. Late to church, and got grumpy a bit before service. But, once arrived, i told myself not to focus on the morning grumpy but to focus on God, celebration of Easter.

The service was great, the play was fantastic... although half of the time i didn't get what narrator was saying, oh the sermon was sooooo GOOD. received a lot, laughed a lot and enjoyed a lot. So blessed!

After service, we went to One Utama for lunch. Had thai food, which i didn't really enjoyed cause i can't take spicy food. After food, we went stroll around in CD shop, then to electronic shops, gift shops, computer shop then decided to go back home. While walking towards the Old Wing of the shopping complex, suddenly bro said, need to get notepad. So, we walked to MPH, and on the way bought ice cream from baskin robbin. Walked there, and then back again to Old Wing, then realised..... I lost my wallet!!!

In shocked, we walked back towards the New Wing, to report to the security guard at Information Counter. While walking, I kept praying. Pray and pray and Pray. Bumped to old friends at the information counter, I then made a report while bro talked to friends. The lady at the information counter was nice, gave me the number of the banks and called to cancel off my ATM cards. While calling, since all the banks using hotline operator, I told yeng, I get to buy new wallet! haha. After everything was settled, we talked a while with friends and then walked back to the parking lot. Without thinking of how foolish I was, and without brother lecturing me, we just wondered how that thief can get the wallet out of my pouch bag. Stil praying, while heading to the carpark, i was singing "Lord I lift Your name on high", jumping in between yeng and bro. When we almost reached the car park, the security guard called and said "we've found your wallet!". I was like.... shouted "PRAISE THE LORD". I jump and sing, rejoice for His faithfulness. So happy! you say it's by coincidence but i say, it's God. Thou all the cash was taken including the folded of 100 dollar note and 1 dollar note, I still give thanks, singing "Lord I lift Your name on high!!!". To God be all Glory!

The security guard said, someone found it in the CD shop, so, be careful when you stroll around in shopping malls. And yeah, Remember God in everything you do and He will give you success!!

God Bless you, have a blessed week ahead!

Happy Easter

At the Cross

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

by Darlene Zschech, Reuben Morgan

Break Time

It was Jacky's birthday last week. We had BBQ, time to chill, time for break, time to catch up, time to invest in friendship, time to laugh and time to cam-whore, as usual. Food was nice, and people was great. I had a GREAT time!

The food was awesome.
But well, the companions took me away from the food.


Not everyone's here. Some busy watching over the food, some not here yet.


Busy there, and i'm busy here taking pictures. hihi...


Smiles


"eh, you don't push me ahh....hihihihi"


Caught in Action, trying to steal food. haha.
Guys help with the food while the girls.... you know, help with eating them up. haha.


Me... yeng... and tracy......


The birthday boy and girlfriend.


Giraffe Cynthia and Hippo Tracy


Chun Chiqs.....

Enjoy!

God bless you!

Untitled XII

People, has been coming in and out of my life.

They come, and they left again. Feeling so stucked, I move on, i have to.

And i'm still here wondering.

I can't say that I didn't appreciate people as much i can, but, if only, there's more time for us. It's always, that you learn to know the existence of it after you lose it. But now, before it slips away, I hope, I can make full use of the time, to the max.

It sounded like I don't appreciate, but I really do.

We met out of nowhere, out of that thousands of people out there, but yet, can't tell or even describe the significance of knowing you. We didn't appreciate much, we didn't make an effort as much as we can.

"Your heart is not a hotel, that people can walk in and out just like that, quote sy. I believe, every person that you met, where life path crossed and you walk a bit of your life journey together, left a bit or significant footstep in your life. Doesn't matter whether it's good or bad, doesn't matter whether the experience is worth remembering, or some that you tried so hard just to forget about it, doesn't matter whether the journey you had together is short or long, they all play a part in your life, in building who you are today.

There's always people that you miss so much, but couldn't even hold them.
there's people that you love so much, but you can't tell them how much they meant to you.
there's people that you wished for a second chance, but you can only make prayers of blessing from far.
there's people that you've lost, then only learn to appreciate.

Everyone is a rare jewel. You just need sometime to polish it, so that they shine for you.

Listen

Lately, I found myself being suffocated easily. Trying to grasp some air in the midst the ocean of people. Was it because I don’t know how to release stress or things seems to be on top of me. I just know, I kept excusing myself from people, taking that few minutes walk to toilet, just to breath some air.

The heart of the human is like a deep ocean, with secrets unfolds and treasures unrevealed. All I can say. If only the idea of give and take is practiced, as no one can come clean with relationships between human, whether a human to another, or with a group of people. Controversial after controversial, adding to what was told and what you’ve heard, doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not, and adding onto your own assumption and thinking towards certain issues and decision without making a balance out of it, make it all, a misunderstanding. Whether to cover up the wrongs that were done, or to cover up a hidden agenda, no one can be totally transparent and accountable to what is their intention. Tired. If only we learn to give and take. No one can say, to be total, 100% correct. Where things are not about life or death, rules and moral obligation are all made up by human. We make the rules, we change the rules, and we break the rules. No such thing as who is right or who is wrong. If only we learn to come clear with it. Things sometimes doesn’t seems as easy as it seems, or as hard as people thought.

If only I’m bold enough to voice out. To show that I care. To prove that I appreciate.

(don't digest this literally. just me being grumpy today.)

CNY 2007

It's been a while since the last time I blog. Due to dunno-what-i've-been-doing, I'm pretty occupied here.

The 15 days chinese new year celebration was just over. And now, after a week break, trying to settle down with classes and revision. My parents came over to KL to celebrate chinese new year, so other than people that i see in the shopping mall and some of my dear friends, I didn't get to visit relatives and friends, like what we should do during chinese new year. And, what's so sad is, I didn't get to watch lion dance live performance as near as 2 metre away (saw one when I was in One U, while I was up at 2nd floor and lion dance performed in the ground floor. and watched another one through someone's digital camera, recorded). So, throughout the break, during the daytime, I accompanied family to shopping malls. And at night, I sneak out with lil bro, together with Yeng, watch movie, went bowling, table soccer and pool. We went to amusement centre the other night, and lil bro and yeng were really good in daytona. And one of the night, I went out with Yeng and Addy to the pub that I've always wanted to go with Addy. Had just a glass of wine and head went pain. yeah, that week of break left me sick and throat seems still not feeling well till now.

On the 15th day, I invited a few close friends to have a reunion dinner at my place. Had my parents packed seafood from Sabah, I cooked all of them that night. Well, not a very good cook me, overall, the dinner was great, with great companion. The fish was too big, that we have to cut into 2, and had it in and out of the pot as we thought it's already cooked. Cooked outside but not the inside. The prawn, marinated ones were finger lickin good. The only complaint was the asparagus was bitter and the scallops, weren't fresh.

So, I can cook. haha.

Untitled XI

It's always been this opening sentence... It has been a dramatic week....

It was a dramatic week. Though just attending lectures and church in the weekend, more than that happened. I only can say, human always appear tough but deep inside, weak. It's tired trying to appear tough sometimes, and should u let your guard down, you're just as weak as a baby. It's okay to be not okay, Milia said.

Went to church as usual, which as good today. Then went to The Curve, had lunch and then walk around the flee market. Tried to get a ear phone as my ear phone already spoiled. So, had it actually on the counter of the Sony Style waiting to pay, but the waiting makes me impatience. So, I left without buying it. *hmmpf*

This week i've watched 3 movies with Yeng. 1st one was okay. 2nd one we didn't finish watching as Yeng had problem with her contact lens. 3rd one.. haha.... i enjoyed the music, but i think, half of the time we were talking and kicking the seat in front/looking around/ticking yeng and etc etc. It's a nobody-talks-and-only-music-and-dancing movie. Companion makes a big difference.

Next week, or coming week is Chinese New Year. I'm not going back to hometown as my whole family is coming over. So, for those who is staying in KL for the celebration, if you're in KL town, can give me a call and drop by at the hotel, mom and dad will give you angpao, don't worry. haha.

have a great weekend ahead!

Paint the Year

(I know this happened some 2 weeks ago, but due to the lazyness in editing pictures, it took me quite sometime to sit still and edit the pictures.)

The college zone of the church had Mural Painting Project, "Paint the Year Together". And my cell was one of the first to paint it when the whole piece of paper is still blank. We had a 'kandang' of our own, since we're called Fellowsheep. So, everyone had their skills showed off there, in trying to paint our own sheep there with our name.

Me, as usual, have to have to have to put my mark there, showed off my painting skills too. I know it's blue, and it's small. I'm just trying to make it simple and nice. Using my fingers to stamp the body of the sheep and the head, i drew leg and the neck. Later then, I drew another one and had Yeng to write her name. Yeah, the 'SY' is too big. That's her art... don't laugh!



Someone spoilt the painting inside our 'kandang', and then later Jon tried to cover it up with turning it into an orange colour sheep. Well, it doesn't look like a sheep, more like an orange bloated sheep. And it's called, Jon the orange.



As for Charlene, nicely we asked and asked, at last, she joined us in painting her sheep there. After drawing out the body of the sheep....

Char, Oh no, there's no place for me to draw the leg....
Celeste, Never mind lah, you try to squeeze it down there and
draw the head there (while pointing here and there)
Me, or you can draw the leg all up there, as if it is lying down....
Ya ya ya, like lying down on green pastures....


So, she had the sheep's leg all up as if it's lying.. on green pastures.... Psalm 23.

So, this... our master piece.

I had fun!

Someone

Lately I had not been sleeping very well. Not that I'm too tired or stress over studies, but just couldn't sleep well. It's already a month after the new year, but yet i couldn't see any changes/progress in life but still carrying the same burden, the same problem. No one seems to understand, not even me know it myself thoroughly. I wonder why.

I can't say every decision that i made is correct, nor I can say, every steps that I made, I made with no regrets. With the same situation given at the 2nd chance, I'm not sure whether i can do better, or I'll lead to the same way. The thing is, I've been carrying it alone, all by myself.

It's no easy being someone much more mature, someone under the spotlight. Someone that people look up to, someone that people see/analysis every action and word of mine. I would rather be the person behind the stage, walking not under the limelight and yet still equivalently important. Is this possible?

If you ask me to differentiate between black and white, I really don't know what's the criteria or requirement making it black or white. Things can never be purely black or purely white, and human can never distinguish strictly the colour of it, as individual human as different interpretation.

As for me, I'm not sure why, but I just know, I am afraid of disappointment and getting hurt. The thing about taking the heart out and treating people sincerely, sometimes everyone appreciates them, sometimes it's not appreciated. And the thing about doing good deed for others, sometimes people doesn't even know you're being nice to that person, or even protected that person once as an angel. Famous quote of all season, to give and take and when the right hand do good deed, don't let the left hand know about it.

My firewall is getting higher and higher, my guard is increasing from time to time. To prevent people from getting in, and to prevent people from hurting me. I am constructing, a world of my own again.

Can someone crush my wall down though u know you'll get hurt in process?

Untitled X

I said a little prayer the other day. In frustration, I pray. People once say, the distance between God and us is between our kneel and the floor. Well, i was driving at the time. Tired with everything that happened, tired with the battle of person. And, tired of myself being tired. I wonder, where is that love that I have so much, that I pour on others. Where is that forgiveness and to forget that I always have. Used to be an optimistic me, now, always turn to the negative side when giving comments. yes, i hate myself being like this. I don't want to be the person who doesn't walk my talk. I hate hypocrytes, and therefore, i don't want myself becoming one. But, i felt so restless.

While bible says, lean not against your understanding but His, i tend to take control on my own. taking decisions and interpret things base on my own way. Actually, not sure why people tend to take control so much, on their own. After all, whatever that you've done, whether it matters or not, whether it's important or not, it doesn't matter anymore. taking revenge for example, after the effort and planning in taking revenge just like how we used to see in movies, after all the revenge, it seems meaningless. Well, I'm not planning a revenge. just an example. Like one of our previous chief minister once said, Heaven have eyes. So, i shall enjoy my everyday life without have to worry. hmm, saying it is easier than doing it.

on the other hand, brother just went back to hometown this morning, after a few days stay here. Was great having him around, having both of us together again. We're so close together, that people used to think that we're twins. But well, now, some people said that i look older. Okay, i shall take that as i look more mature than him.

So ah.... what's next? Going for badminton tomorrow. Progressively making it an weekly activity, which this week is the 2nd week we have badminton. Great. I shall be fit and strong, physically. haha.

It's weekend again, hopefully get to catch up with some studies, which it always fail. I've checked the movie showing in the cinema, none that i wanted to watch. So, i guess that can make me stay at home. Haha.

have a great day tomorrow, and a blessed weekend!

Update IX

The worst feeling...
you're standing in front of that person,
so close that you feel the heat of the body
but yet... can't tell him,
how much you miss him,
how much u care
and how much you love him.
You only manage to smile,
as thou, you're at the peak of losing him.

When is this... going to end.

One week

Today is the 3rd Sunday I'm back in KL. What i've been doing? What I'm up? I know i blog less now and it seems that i'm busy. Yupp, been busy. That's a world-wide used excuse, been busy.

Last Sunday, I went for steamboat with Tracy, Darren and Siew Yeng. The food was great, and the companion was great as well. I always say, no matter how nice is the food, if the companion is not good, it will overall make the night dull. That's why people hate to go dinners, especially when it's your auntie's dunno whose son/daugher got married and you attend the dinner on behalf of your parents, later on after the dinner sure will go for supper, as you didn't have a good meal, though the food is good.

WE had quite a lot of food. Big prawns and shells, which look like the logo of the Shell petrol station. So, if you guys want to go for steamboat, i shall recommend this one. Restaurant 20, situated at Sunway, next to Dominos. I went there twice already, and will go again next time.




Later, on Thursday, 4 of us went for badminton in the morning before class. It was fun, sweating and all. And also fun, looking at people running around chasing after the shuttle cock. I'm not good in it too, did some running as well. It was fun, but till the next day, except for darren who plays a lot, the others complain about muscle pain and butt or thigh pain. Haha. So, next week... swimming?


Yesterday Yeng and me attended the first Youth Service at Church.
It's combined service consist of Secondary Zone, College Zone and Young Adults. It's basically, without the older people. Haha. It was fun. And I didn't know, Juwita Suwito was there. it was the 2nd time i met her. Don't think she remembers me, but i told her we met at one of the Christmas function back in KK. Her album is great, so, go look for it at Canaanland.

Today i slept the whole day. Afternoon had late lunch at MacD. then Yeng and I decided to watch movie. COnfession of Pain. Though late for about 20 minutes, but still manage to be there before the show started (cut of the advertisement).

So, what am I going to do next week? Don't know. I Shall see.

Yesterday and Today

Few nights back....

It was an ordinary night, back at home, surf the net and chat as usual, while trying to do my notes. With the speaker loudly showing off it's potential sound, I was filling up the application form for examinations. And there I go, thinking... and.. became emo....

It has been a great a year and a half, studying law. Great friends, great companion that i get to know, great life, great college life and all. And, soon it's coming to an end. With the bunch of friends leaving next semester to UK, the external programme students are left here to complete the 3 years course here. Yeah, people is leaving again, from my life. Sad.

I'm blessed enough, to have a Uni life for more than 4 years. As I know, after i graduated from the previous degree, I will still be in college phase. But now, next year, I'll soon enter the world of working. Just know that life is not going to be the same as now greatly put fear in me. Especially that with the group of friends (read: supporter) behind my back, not sure where's everyone heading after we graduate. But that's not the point, that's too far away to think of and worry about.

This is going to be the final semester with the twinning programme group of friends, and I'm praying that time don't fly so fast. How pathetic life is, how unreasonable human being, when we have it in our hand, we don't appreciate it. But when it's almost slipping away, then you realise how great is it having it in your hand. I've always been appreciative, I've always been counting my blessing, but, it's not enough. Not feeling contended, in a way, hoping to have more time together.

If only we become less calculative, less digesting, less of expectation and less of judging. We will live life to the fullest. All the best to all my dear friends, in the new year, in the new semester, in the final year being together (hopefully not, as there's still masters programme to do... hehhehe...).

Emo is over =)

1.26am

After a week

I'm back in KL, after a great holiday back at home. With the weddings that i attended and Christmas dinners as well as lots of meals at the restaurants with family and friends, I've gained 2 KG, just in 3 weeks time. But still, I'm still beyond the average level of BMI, due to my height. I still can gain more... hehehe....

In a week, I'm up to...
1. catching up with the gang
2. the water tap at the kitchen broke on the day that i came back.
3. ate 'luk-luk' (steamie) at the pasar malam (night market).
4. bang by a motorcycle while car is not moving.
5. borrowed 5 books from library (haven't start reading any yet)

my life is dramatic, or colourful i can say.

So, with the battle of the book and as expected, battle of human, I'm still coping up. Trying to adjust with the life here, including the traffic here, the amount of people around me, the study stress that I'm getting and the people that i'm meeting, as compare to the life that i have back in hometown, it's just totally different. Thou I'm only away for 3 weeks, but still need time to adjust to the faster pace of life back in KL.

And, my dear Mr Lecturer bugged me to attend class seriously and start revision, so, here I am, being kiasu, borrowed books for photocopy and start hunting for reference books and statute book. Well, it's still time for catching up, hopefully, will start serious study next week. haha!

As for the new year, I haven't think of any new year resolution. Maybe....

1. be not a procrastinator,
2. be more punctual,
3. be more of domineering values and less of compliance,
4. score well in Year 2 of LLB
5. Deeper in Faith
6. Deeper bonding with family

Someone said, a good new year resolution is make no resolution at all. Something like that. Well, for past few years, I did my new year resolution and have a check by the middle of the year to see how am i progressing. It's just something that i want to achieve, hopefully, to set a target and improve myself. Maybe you can do it also.

Have a good weekend :)

Finding Purpose

The blog has turned into not-so personal blog but repeatedly reporting about activities that happened around me lately. Especially with the Christmas season which is just over, it gives me inspiration to blog about happenings and blocked the philosophy side of me. Yeah, the blog has became a more general blog. From a blog of wanting to tell others my experience, it became sort of a blog of want others want to listen/know.

I think, the way of writing changes as my personality changes, from an influencer to a persuader. With a strong Steadiness and Domineering to a Influence and Compliance person. total 100% change. (It's not a, not-another-personality test. Many companies use this test when they employ future employees. Should take a look)

Now, that i don't know the purpose of writing, I might as well, update it once in a while, or just tear the whole blog down.

So much of ME, will make u bored.
So much of YOU, will put me into trouble.
So much of others, well, i dunno so much about other other ppl.

(dun worry, not talking about anyone. it's just me and my personality test.)

Hello 2007

The New Year

The new year hasn't sink in yet and still thinking of the date 2006. Just came back from retreat yesterday, with muscle cramps and bruises as souvenir, not forgetting memories of fighting to win.. my team won of course, as well as bonding and getting to know new friends. We had countdown in welcoming the new 2007, while having barbeuque at the park of the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. Of course, we're not on top of the mountain, just somewhere 6 hours of climb before the peak. There's loads of food to gril and barbeque, while cramping together to get body heat from each other as it's cold up there. Overall, it was fun.

So, it's 2nd of January. While lots of people back to work, or some still working throughout the public holiday, i slept through the whole day. And with the internet connection back to normal, thou not so normal as usual, business back to normal, congesting the internet line trying to get their business done and people like me, trying to get into the online chat, but not sure whether it's the congestion or the internet connection is not back to normal yet, i still can't get into my mailbox. Since i can't access to flickr, so, i can't upload at pictures of the retreat.

Christmas 2006

The celebration was awesome, left me exhausted and skipped dinner, dropped on the couch to sleep on Christmas day. Been busy. Since back for 2 weeks, I've received pressies for birthday and christmas. For those who still 'keeping' my pressie with them, do give it to me. I really really believe in 12 days of Christmas. haha! But please, no undergarments. I've received 2 already. Thanks!

Weddings again

Attended 3 wedding dinners. Had lots of aunties asking when's my turn. That's a normal question asked when your peers getting married. Well, it's not a sad thing but still, have an excuse to enjoy my singlehood. Met lots of relatives and cousins, it became a small reunion for my family. And the toast, LOTS of toasts, made me drunk and left me had diarhhea the next day. Well, being a good girl, that next day's wedding dinner, i just had tea! haha.

So, while flickr can't be accessed at the moment, just bear with the post without photos!