What I was up to for the past one week.
Reverse a bit, 2 weeks ago, i left my car at the car wash centre at my apartment. I forgot to collect it back, hence it stayed overnight there. The same night, the ceiling of my toilet collapsed. Apparently, my nice neighbour up there poke the pipe until it burst or something, and it drop on my ceiling and therefore it collapsed.
Past one week, my laptop died on me. So i brought it to HP Centre for it to be fixed. Initial check confirms that it's LCD problem. But i think it's the graphic card problem, cause the same symptom happened before it crashed on me last year. Then i asked for quaotation.
1. Service charge, include open up and check only. RM95
2. LCD only - RM1100
3. Since there is internal webcam attached, if it's broken. Including the LCD is RM1500
4. Graphic card (attached together with motherboard, so have to change the whole thing)
RM1396
I took back my laptop, without even allowing them to open up and see. So darn expensive.
It's only 17 months old.
And Yesterday, I sent a friend home to her place in Sunway. As i reversed, I saw that bits of wall sticking out and I even told myself to be careful. Either I was tired or I need new pair of glasses, the right side of my car butt bang to the wall with a loud BANG. >.<
Well... it doesn't look like things don't run smoothly on my part, cause, I was laughing while I told my friend
"You know.. my laptop died one me.. HAHAHAHAAH".
"I just langgar the wall with my car butt... HAHAHAHAHA"
3 weeks from now, I'll be sitting for the Peperiksaan Menguji Ketahanan Lasak Anda dan Memori Anda (forgive my malay, i.... errr.. left high school long time ago..).
And, I'm here blogging and just finished a tv session. Seriously, I haven't even finish reading up my syllabus. left 1 big subject and 4 small subject. Can jump well, quote HS.
Right, have a great weekend people! God Bless you!!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Standing Still
It has been in my mind for quite sometime. And it keep coming back to me no matter how hard i suppress it or try to avoid it. And during a close friend's wedding last week, all that I've suppressed in finally appeared all together, just like the light stuff all floating up on the water after being suppressed underneath. I can't help it, but the tears just flood my eyes and I tried to hard to hold it back, so that i won't ruin my make up, and it's someone's wedding!
Since the beginning of the year till now, I've attended some 4 weddings of my close friends and a cousin. till now, it's 4. they are People around me age, my peers. And what makes it worst is, people start asking when is my turn. And when they found out I'm with nobody, that makes it even more worst. And when the history of me not involved in serious relationship before, makes people wonder, if I'm gay (no offence to gay people okay...)
While my friend walk down the aisle, other than being touched by their love story and the relationship, I just thought back on my life and my love life. Seriously, I don't see that I lack of anything in my life. Loving parents, loving brothers, wonderful and loving sister in law, a group of supporting friends and a busy life. I don't understand what is it that I'm lack of, but, since the beginning of the year, I felt the pressure from people, just because I'm alone. As i told one of the Gfs about this yesterday, I can feel my tears, flooded my eyes.
Am I too picky, or the guys appear in my life just doesn't seem right. Why is it so easy for others to fall in love and be in a relationship but I can't. This was what I've been thinking. Until the poind where, I thought I am being too picky.
And yesterday, I told one of the GFs, that the main condition so called to become my other half, is He must be a christian. The moment i say that, I feel like I'm like this hard core holy fanatic Christian. Seriously, i start questioning myself, does it matter?
Yes, it does. I can't believe half of something and ignore the other half right. What Celest said last night was really encouraging. Never under estimate your own value, your own belief.
Going for it for the sake of it, is really wrong. Getting one just because I suppose to, is also wrong. having one just because everyone else did, is also wrong.
I'm also just a girl....
Since the beginning of the year till now, I've attended some 4 weddings of my close friends and a cousin. till now, it's 4. they are People around me age, my peers. And what makes it worst is, people start asking when is my turn. And when they found out I'm with nobody, that makes it even more worst. And when the history of me not involved in serious relationship before, makes people wonder, if I'm gay (no offence to gay people okay...)
While my friend walk down the aisle, other than being touched by their love story and the relationship, I just thought back on my life and my love life. Seriously, I don't see that I lack of anything in my life. Loving parents, loving brothers, wonderful and loving sister in law, a group of supporting friends and a busy life. I don't understand what is it that I'm lack of, but, since the beginning of the year, I felt the pressure from people, just because I'm alone. As i told one of the Gfs about this yesterday, I can feel my tears, flooded my eyes.
Am I too picky, or the guys appear in my life just doesn't seem right. Why is it so easy for others to fall in love and be in a relationship but I can't. This was what I've been thinking. Until the poind where, I thought I am being too picky.
And yesterday, I told one of the GFs, that the main condition so called to become my other half, is He must be a christian. The moment i say that, I feel like I'm like this hard core holy fanatic Christian. Seriously, i start questioning myself, does it matter?
Yes, it does. I can't believe half of something and ignore the other half right. What Celest said last night was really encouraging. Never under estimate your own value, your own belief.
Going for it for the sake of it, is really wrong. Getting one just because I suppose to, is also wrong. having one just because everyone else did, is also wrong.
I'm also just a girl....
Thursday, June 04, 2009
03.06.09
(Pictures in courtesy of LukasFoo)I just found out these pictures from Lukas's blog.
I really didn't know or notice, that Darrel was behind me and manage to take a few shots with the studying me. I was so concentrating I guess, or just the music blasting at my ears can't hear anything else but the music. Bleh..
Back to study!
God Bless!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
26.05.09
So I'm back at home. After the really last minute plan. Luckily the air ticket is not so expensive buying at last minute.
The flight back was not so good. First half of the journey, there were girls talking few rows behind me and I can hear their conversation. Then the second half the the journey, there was a crying baby, cried on top of his lungs. I can't really hear them with my mp3, but the last 20 minutes before landing, I feel like shouting at the pilot to land as fast as he could.
I was overjoyed when I first touch down. Like, never been home before that kind. Too tired with life over there and I called home and asked if I can come back. Hehe, even for that few days, I'm satisfied. To recharge myself to continue and fight the battle.
So now i'm at cousin's place, as my own place, the modem broke down. Nobody uses the computer, thus the modem was on 24/7 and now, resets every 3 minutes. So, i can't really online. Need to get a new modem. Therefore, no photos for now.
Till then, see you guys this weekend. Don't miss me much :)
The flight back was not so good. First half of the journey, there were girls talking few rows behind me and I can hear their conversation. Then the second half the the journey, there was a crying baby, cried on top of his lungs. I can't really hear them with my mp3, but the last 20 minutes before landing, I feel like shouting at the pilot to land as fast as he could.
I was overjoyed when I first touch down. Like, never been home before that kind. Too tired with life over there and I called home and asked if I can come back. Hehe, even for that few days, I'm satisfied. To recharge myself to continue and fight the battle.
So now i'm at cousin's place, as my own place, the modem broke down. Nobody uses the computer, thus the modem was on 24/7 and now, resets every 3 minutes. So, i can't really online. Need to get a new modem. Therefore, no photos for now.
Till then, see you guys this weekend. Don't miss me much :)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Salute You
I never had a chance to tell you this, or I probably don't see a point of telling you this out of the sudden. But not that this is a good time. But....
Although life sucks on you, although everything doesn't seems alright with you, I know, you never stop searching for that something that deep inside only you can understand.
Although it seems like everything that happen, is brought upon by yourself, but hey, nothing happens from one party only.
But of all the things that happened, I always see you as a very brave person. A person that always seek for happiness thou nothing last forever, the person that always hope and always give, though it may not last, the person that always be strong and never give up, though sometimes it fails on you.
And to compare me and you, you have more colours in your life than I do, cause you are brave to make steps out of the ordinary, out of the way we're taught or told to be, out of our very own comfort zone. And when experience counts in life, you had more than I have.
So, I salute you. I've been thinking of this a lot lately, and, I just want to tell you, life sucks and sometimes it fails on us, but, we continue to hope and we continue to work towards perfection, cause life is full of hope. We may fall into pieces, we may just want to sit and let life pass us by, but I know, you will stand up and continue walking very soon, so, don't sit too long. Life is waiting!!!
Take care, Love you always.
Cynth :)
Although life sucks on you, although everything doesn't seems alright with you, I know, you never stop searching for that something that deep inside only you can understand.
Although it seems like everything that happen, is brought upon by yourself, but hey, nothing happens from one party only.
But of all the things that happened, I always see you as a very brave person. A person that always seek for happiness thou nothing last forever, the person that always hope and always give, though it may not last, the person that always be strong and never give up, though sometimes it fails on you.
And to compare me and you, you have more colours in your life than I do, cause you are brave to make steps out of the ordinary, out of the way we're taught or told to be, out of our very own comfort zone. And when experience counts in life, you had more than I have.
So, I salute you. I've been thinking of this a lot lately, and, I just want to tell you, life sucks and sometimes it fails on us, but, we continue to hope and we continue to work towards perfection, cause life is full of hope. We may fall into pieces, we may just want to sit and let life pass us by, but I know, you will stand up and continue walking very soon, so, don't sit too long. Life is waiting!!!
Take care, Love you always.
Cynth :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
15.05.09
It's really late now, and i suppose to go to bed, but, i feel bad for not studying.
It's already 15th now, countdown, 7 weeks and 5 days to go before exam. And I was checking out FB, checking out blogs and now my own blog.
My stress is on and off, like, this minute i feel the stress, the next minute, I was doing something else. Or, I was telling friend "die lorrr..... cannot finish study..." then next minute I was talking about random stuff and continue on until I'm satisfied.
Not sure how, when I was in LLB, i told myself, if i can't make it, at least i still have other qualifications that I can depend on. But now, hmmm, I don't know how to motivate myself to run faster and faster. I've been studying consistently everyday, but, I have the feeling that i cannot finish the syllabus. But, whatever is it, I will not chicken out. I will sit for the exam no matter what.
Still, I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
Friend says "2 months or One year and 2 months". That motivates her.
At least, I'm still hanging on and persevering. Hehe.
I just need to hang on!!!
It's already 15th now, countdown, 7 weeks and 5 days to go before exam. And I was checking out FB, checking out blogs and now my own blog.
My stress is on and off, like, this minute i feel the stress, the next minute, I was doing something else. Or, I was telling friend "die lorrr..... cannot finish study..." then next minute I was talking about random stuff and continue on until I'm satisfied.
Not sure how, when I was in LLB, i told myself, if i can't make it, at least i still have other qualifications that I can depend on. But now, hmmm, I don't know how to motivate myself to run faster and faster. I've been studying consistently everyday, but, I have the feeling that i cannot finish the syllabus. But, whatever is it, I will not chicken out. I will sit for the exam no matter what.
Still, I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
Friend says "2 months or One year and 2 months". That motivates her.
At least, I'm still hanging on and persevering. Hehe.
I just need to hang on!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A Prayer
It's been a drama for past one week. The happy and the unhappy one.
Felt this burden in the heart to say a prayer to you all.
May God protect you and your family and watch over our property.
May God's angel guard you in all your ways.
May God guide you, keep you and love you.
Amen!
Off to bed. Tomorrow will be a great great day!
Felt this burden in the heart to say a prayer to you all.
May God protect you and your family and watch over our property.
May God's angel guard you in all your ways.
May God guide you, keep you and love you.
Amen!
Off to bed. Tomorrow will be a great great day!
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Beauty and Pain
Recently, almost every month since the beginning of the year, I attended a function, mostly on weddings. Then birthday parties. And, just these 2 weeks, I spent a lot on dresses, heels and make-ups and accessories. All are necessities right? Buying them at one go really cost a bomb in my wallet. This is coz i don't normally use them and i hunt for them only when i need them. I don't mind the recyclying of the same dress on different occasion. But, hey, girls should dress up and be pretty. Grrrr. This is on, trying to be nice and presentable.
So I explored the world of eye liner and mascara. Using it is pretty easy I think... coz some one did it on me. But taking it off really painful. Have to keep rubbing and rubbing, to take off the mascara and eye liner. Left my eyes red and skin around my eyes become sore. Grrr... this is on, trying to be nice and presentable, still.
Ah weell, next thing i'm gonna get, brush set. Though i don't really know how to do make up. But i think, every girl should have this stuff. Hehehehe....
bobbi brown doesn't sit around the gadget corner...
*speechless*
So I explored the world of eye liner and mascara. Using it is pretty easy I think... coz some one did it on me. But taking it off really painful. Have to keep rubbing and rubbing, to take off the mascara and eye liner. Left my eyes red and skin around my eyes become sore. Grrr... this is on, trying to be nice and presentable, still.
Ah weell, next thing i'm gonna get, brush set. Though i don't really know how to do make up. But i think, every girl should have this stuff. Hehehehe....
bobbi brown doesn't sit around the gadget corner...
*speechless*
Sunday, May 03, 2009
03.05.09
I suppose to be in bed already, since i have to wake up at 7am. Grrrr....
Just to sum up.
1. I didn't progress well in my studies. Too many temptations, too many distractions. I don't know how to priorities.
2. One of the mornings, freaking early morning, was waken up by screamings. And i cudn't sleep after that cause it just freaked me out. Someone attempted to jump off the building, but thank God, someone held her tight. Hmm.. just being sarcastic, jumping off from 4th floor? I bet she's drunk or high. Well, someone jumped from 2nd floor in the college hostel before, just to prove to the girlfriend that he really loves her. Yeah, she felt really loved. In the end, she enjoyed pushing him around in wheelchair, broken leg bcos of the jump. Here, The apartments here are clean. no bad record. Gotta continue to pray.
3. I went shopping, like for few days, that's why my studies not progressing well this week :p
4. I just did my french manicure and it's ugly. Daph would be laughing at me like mad when she sees it tomm. bleh
Orite. Another 5 hours tomm. Good luck with sitting for 3 hours without a break. muahahaha.
Till then, take care yea!
Just to sum up.
1. I didn't progress well in my studies. Too many temptations, too many distractions. I don't know how to priorities.
2. One of the mornings, freaking early morning, was waken up by screamings. And i cudn't sleep after that cause it just freaked me out. Someone attempted to jump off the building, but thank God, someone held her tight. Hmm.. just being sarcastic, jumping off from 4th floor? I bet she's drunk or high. Well, someone jumped from 2nd floor in the college hostel before, just to prove to the girlfriend that he really loves her. Yeah, she felt really loved. In the end, she enjoyed pushing him around in wheelchair, broken leg bcos of the jump. Here, The apartments here are clean. no bad record. Gotta continue to pray.
3. I went shopping, like for few days, that's why my studies not progressing well this week :p
4. I just did my french manicure and it's ugly. Daph would be laughing at me like mad when she sees it tomm. bleh
Orite. Another 5 hours tomm. Good luck with sitting for 3 hours without a break. muahahaha.
Till then, take care yea!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Crazy Ppl
So we went to the curve for the warehouse sale. I've never seen crazy sale like this before, never
seen such a long queue before. Seriously, it was worst than the post christmas sale in Aus.
this is where i first queue up. Super long. Then i went in front. cannot tahan. queue not moving at all. so we left.
Crazee. Inside like pasar. literally. pasar.
seen such a long queue before. Seriously, it was worst than the post christmas sale in Aus.
this is where i first queue up. Super long. Then i went in front. cannot tahan. queue not moving at all. so we left.
Crazee. Inside like pasar. literally. pasar.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
*Speechless*
Was thinking and going into emo state while driving just now when the radio...
我很想爱他...
I sang along....
Then...
一个人走
*speechless*
Then...
我等的人他在多远的未来
I was like... are you kidding me????
Since when the radio can read my thinking...???!!!
我很想爱他...
I sang along....
Then...
一个人走
*speechless*
Then...
我等的人他在多远的未来
I was like... are you kidding me????
Since when the radio can read my thinking...???!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Being Enthusiastic
Just the other day, the 3 of us were talking about our childhood and all the things that we do besides attending schools and tuition. How coincidentally, the 3 of us plays the piano since young, and all the sudden, looking back at what I've went through to get where I am now, really, amazes me.
Well, we were all forced to learn the piano (sorry mom!). I remember me and bro used to hate saturdays cause we have piano classes on that day. And how we prayed and hoped that it rained every saturday so that we don't get to go classes (my piano teacher's place easily get flooded..hihihihi).
The preparation for the exams were tedious. I'm so totally can connect with what they were saying about the process of practising the scales, major and minor code. And I was like, hey, I'm really not alone. Everyone felt the same. Not only me. From the practicing and to the preparation to exam and on the exam day itself and during the examination, while facing the examiner. We all had felt the same. And probably this is the first time i was so enthusiastic and passionate in talking about what I know or my interest (the 2 girls were more excited in telling their experience, and their face glow with neon lights or fluorescent lights or something :P).
And we all hold the same pride of skipping a few classes at school just to go for practical examination and everyone will just stare at you, when we walk into the school late and still be proud of it, as if we have some kind of immunity or privilege.
Well, it's been a long time I'm not passionate about something. I miss the satisfaction of playing long pages of scripts, and the satisfaction of passing one grade and move to next, the satisfaction of learning a few pages long of songs or even the sonata. Or even the satisfaction of being able to swim 10 laps of olympic size swimming pool (I used to...). Or drawing something on a full size drawing block (I used to be good in oil pastel... used to). I miss being passionate about something..
Yea, I bought a violin and i thought i can share the same passion that i can in piano, but, urggh, i just hate the process. of learning from scratch. I wish i can play straight some really nice and long pieces, like canon or something.
I am still searching for it. ANd now, my passion is on books. -____- particularly on clp books.
Well, we were all forced to learn the piano (sorry mom!). I remember me and bro used to hate saturdays cause we have piano classes on that day. And how we prayed and hoped that it rained every saturday so that we don't get to go classes (my piano teacher's place easily get flooded..hihihihi).
The preparation for the exams were tedious. I'm so totally can connect with what they were saying about the process of practising the scales, major and minor code. And I was like, hey, I'm really not alone. Everyone felt the same. Not only me. From the practicing and to the preparation to exam and on the exam day itself and during the examination, while facing the examiner. We all had felt the same. And probably this is the first time i was so enthusiastic and passionate in talking about what I know or my interest (the 2 girls were more excited in telling their experience, and their face glow with neon lights or fluorescent lights or something :P).
And we all hold the same pride of skipping a few classes at school just to go for practical examination and everyone will just stare at you, when we walk into the school late and still be proud of it, as if we have some kind of immunity or privilege.
Well, it's been a long time I'm not passionate about something. I miss the satisfaction of playing long pages of scripts, and the satisfaction of passing one grade and move to next, the satisfaction of learning a few pages long of songs or even the sonata. Or even the satisfaction of being able to swim 10 laps of olympic size swimming pool (I used to...). Or drawing something on a full size drawing block (I used to be good in oil pastel... used to). I miss being passionate about something..
Yea, I bought a violin and i thought i can share the same passion that i can in piano, but, urggh, i just hate the process. of learning from scratch. I wish i can play straight some really nice and long pieces, like canon or something.
I am still searching for it. ANd now, my passion is on books. -____- particularly on clp books.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
12 Weeks
It's the 1st week of Intensive Revision class. Crazy. Just sitting there for couple of hours listening to fast lecture really tiring. Today the lecturer wrote stuff on the board, so, everyone moved forward to the first few rows of the class.
First time sat so front in class. SL said, we're bright student now. Cause we sit in front. -___-
While lecture, Adam keep disturbing both of me and Cilia. Cilia pointed out that our shoes are red.
May be it looks like i'm playing in the class, but i did listen to lecture while snapping one or two shots. Not trying to get into stress mode, which is not helping at all, I'll try to move forward using my own motivation and will. Hmm.. Of course, not by my own strength, but His.
Well, it's weekend again, and it's been a while since I don't look forward to weekends. But anyways, Have a blessed weekend!!
Till then, be good there!
First time sat so front in class. SL said, we're bright student now. Cause we sit in front. -___-
While lecture, Adam keep disturbing both of me and Cilia. Cilia pointed out that our shoes are red.
May be it looks like i'm playing in the class, but i did listen to lecture while snapping one or two shots. Not trying to get into stress mode, which is not helping at all, I'll try to move forward using my own motivation and will. Hmm.. Of course, not by my own strength, but His.Well, it's weekend again, and it's been a while since I don't look forward to weekends. But anyways, Have a blessed weekend!!
Till then, be good there!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Last Week
I went to Bird Park with Ty and Bro and Nephew. Nothing much that amazes me. Except for the flamingos that were sleeping on one leg and the other hanging like L shape, that I feel like going over and them a kick. muahahaha.. Photos still with Ty.
Then we went to PC Fair. Didn't see much, we just walked pass all the halls to take brochures. Oh, had coffee before PC Fair. I fasted that day, so had coffee only in the noon. First time I saw the this kind of concept of sugar. I saw this once in the HK movie only. Bleh. This coffee cost RM9, but how many times u get to drink coffee with the big view of KLCC next to u. BIG view of KLCC okay.. not the KLCC from far.
So then after the PC Fair, i went to class. After class, i went to Cell. then supper. Arrived home at 1.30am and still, went to shower. slept with my hair wet, and when i woke up, my hair still wet!! slept 5 hours only. Saturday class again. Saturday night went church for Easter production. Slept 5 hours again. Then Easter Sunday. Met up with a friend to church, and I didn't arrive on time. Bleh. It's Easter, so, I took a lil more time to choose my attire. Hehe. soli soli, i was late!
During class, I can't even concentrate. SL was sitting next to me, she looked super awake to me. I didn't dare to fall asleep. then SC was on my right side, also, copying answer attentively. I paiseh want to fall asleep. So, tried hard to keep myself awake. After the class ended, i walked out like zombie. Then the 20+ of us went lunch together. sat from 3pm to 5 pm there. then from the table, we stood up, walked a few metre and continueed talking. then walked to the middle of the road to the divider, and still talking. -_____- Probably all just know each other, so much to talk. So many plans to make.
Yesterday at IKEA, bumped to cell members. Grrr.. disturb me study only.....
And this afternoon, study at IKEA again with Adam and Cilia. Was reading attentively with my Ipod, and cilia suddenly pasted this on my notes. -_______-
I shall go to sleep. stupid class from 1pm to 6pm.
Then we went to PC Fair. Didn't see much, we just walked pass all the halls to take brochures. Oh, had coffee before PC Fair. I fasted that day, so had coffee only in the noon. First time I saw the this kind of concept of sugar. I saw this once in the HK movie only. Bleh. This coffee cost RM9, but how many times u get to drink coffee with the big view of KLCC next to u. BIG view of KLCC okay.. not the KLCC from far.
So then after the PC Fair, i went to class. After class, i went to Cell. then supper. Arrived home at 1.30am and still, went to shower. slept with my hair wet, and when i woke up, my hair still wet!! slept 5 hours only. Saturday class again. Saturday night went church for Easter production. Slept 5 hours again. Then Easter Sunday. Met up with a friend to church, and I didn't arrive on time. Bleh. It's Easter, so, I took a lil more time to choose my attire. Hehe. soli soli, i was late!
During class, I can't even concentrate. SL was sitting next to me, she looked super awake to me. I didn't dare to fall asleep. then SC was on my right side, also, copying answer attentively. I paiseh want to fall asleep. So, tried hard to keep myself awake. After the class ended, i walked out like zombie. Then the 20+ of us went lunch together. sat from 3pm to 5 pm there. then from the table, we stood up, walked a few metre and continueed talking. then walked to the middle of the road to the divider, and still talking. -_____- Probably all just know each other, so much to talk. So many plans to make.
Yesterday at IKEA, bumped to cell members. Grrr.. disturb me study only.....
And this afternoon, study at IKEA again with Adam and Cilia. Was reading attentively with my Ipod, and cilia suddenly pasted this on my notes. -_______-
I shall go to sleep. stupid class from 1pm to 6pm.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter Celebration
Went to CHC in the evening for Easter Production. Kena tipu, cause thought it's team from Singapore. who knows, it's team from local church. I enjoyed more when the pastor talk and sang all the old songs.
This was when we sang "He will come and save you". A very "lum" song.... melt my heart. The pastor got all of us to hold our phone with the screenbacklights on. like concert. so fun.
This was when we sang "He will come and save you". A very "lum" song.... melt my heart. The pastor got all of us to hold our phone with the screenbacklights on. like concert. so fun.
Yea, i looked back and saw the view was nice. so i took a few snaps with my phone.
We sat at the 2nd row from front, at the side. So, can practically see everything in the hall.
like concert. we don't even do this in our church. although we have band and lights flying around with colours, but not phone light or lighter and wave hand like concert. >.<
K.. i better go to sleep. it's gonna be, another long day tomorrow.
Happy Easter People. Be Blessed!
We sat at the 2nd row from front, at the side. So, can practically see everything in the hall.
like concert. we don't even do this in our church. although we have band and lights flying around with colours, but not phone light or lighter and wave hand like concert. >.<
K.. i better go to sleep. it's gonna be, another long day tomorrow.
Happy Easter People. Be Blessed!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Happy Easter
It's another busy weekend. Having classes alone makes weekend busy. What more, slipping in all the activities before or after classes. That makes me, gonna be superbly exhausted by tomorrow night.
I wanted to go to a church for Good Friday but in the end I didn't, as most churches don't have services on Friday, unlike the East Malaysia, it's a public holiday and not here. A friend went to a RC church and didn't know the service lasted for 4 hours. If it's me, by 2nd hour, probably i've already fall asleep. And the church from East that has a branch here, service at 8pm night. So, i've class till 9.30pm, I've cell at 8.30pm. So, I went straight to cell after class. But I did fast for Good Friday. Like woke up at 8.30 just to eat breakfast.
It wasn't a busy week as we're having break. The Intensive Revision starts today, meaning, I'll be superbly busy with studies. Errr, I can try to be busy with books. Haha. I'm not so passionate to sit for exam this year, but at the same time, I want to do it. Hmmm... it's been a long time that I'm not really passionate in something.
Errr.... i want a camera. I want to learn (read: play) how to take photograph. Whatever i learnt from Photography Club in High School, already lost in space. haha. But, by the time I no longer studying, probably i'll be busy working. Hmmm.
I wanted to go to a church for Good Friday but in the end I didn't, as most churches don't have services on Friday, unlike the East Malaysia, it's a public holiday and not here. A friend went to a RC church and didn't know the service lasted for 4 hours. If it's me, by 2nd hour, probably i've already fall asleep. And the church from East that has a branch here, service at 8pm night. So, i've class till 9.30pm, I've cell at 8.30pm. So, I went straight to cell after class. But I did fast for Good Friday. Like woke up at 8.30 just to eat breakfast.
It wasn't a busy week as we're having break. The Intensive Revision starts today, meaning, I'll be superbly busy with studies. Errr, I can try to be busy with books. Haha. I'm not so passionate to sit for exam this year, but at the same time, I want to do it. Hmmm... it's been a long time that I'm not really passionate in something.
Errr.... i want a camera. I want to learn (read: play) how to take photograph. Whatever i learnt from Photography Club in High School, already lost in space. haha. But, by the time I no longer studying, probably i'll be busy working. Hmmm.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Stress-Less
Sigh. Exam in 11 weeks time and I'm still taking my time slowly. Is it because I know I have another option if I fail this. Option of doing something else or redo it again next year.
Darn.... I need to be in stress. May be I should mix with people in stress.
I'm not progressing well in my revision.... but... I'm not in stress.
I've bought supplies of nescafe 3-in-1, instant noodles and Chicken essence.
I didn't study the whole day today and still sleep 10 hours per day. sigh...
How to cure the pig-ness in me?
Some more went through my boxes and books and notes to look for my Year 2 notes to help a junior. Bleahhhh....
K... i'll try to study....
got this fr london. so yummy. where can i get this here?
must be freaking expensive.
the big pack of M&Ms i bought, cost 1.80 pound. In msia, cost RM20+
Darn.... I need to be in stress. May be I should mix with people in stress.
I'm not progressing well in my revision.... but... I'm not in stress.
I've bought supplies of nescafe 3-in-1, instant noodles and Chicken essence.
I didn't study the whole day today and still sleep 10 hours per day. sigh...
How to cure the pig-ness in me?
Some more went through my boxes and books and notes to look for my Year 2 notes to help a junior. Bleahhhh....
K... i'll try to study....
got this fr london. so yummy. where can i get this here?must be freaking expensive.
the big pack of M&Ms i bought, cost 1.80 pound. In msia, cost RM20+
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
It's April
Yes, and it's 3 more months to EXAM. darn. i'm not even 10% covered yet. And this is only the first round of revision. Yucks. How how how? During LLB, i'm so confidence I can cover my syllabus. This time... i'm so much slack. so relax and slack. some more have activities plan ahead. grrr...
ty, daph ask when go clubbing. She say next week? muahahaha....
K... i just feel like updating. Haha.
I've got class today. Ciao!
ty, daph ask when go clubbing. She say next week? muahahaha....
K... i just feel like updating. Haha.
I've got class today. Ciao!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The hOUr
At first I thought I want to go somewhere to have dinner with candle lights, but our beloved lecturer (beloved cause he jokes and let us go earlier) let us go at 6pm instead of 7pm. So we went to Nando's. Just as we expected, they will switch off the lights at 8.30pm and use candles.
So we ate, while the lights were on. We cabut right before 8pm, and we all rushed back home as we have further plans. Daph planned to go shopping with her brother and Siew Li and Me rushed back to enjoy the hour. So I drove home like mad driver, cause I want to switch ON the lights so that I get to switch them off at the strike of 8.30pm. Just in time, 5 minutes before 8.30pm, I arrived home and turn on all lights. Just to mark the hour. Hurriedly i prepare my phone to video the KLCC and KL tower switch off their lights and went to hunt for candle.
So, everything was switched off and I lighten up the candles, placed them at the balcony and enjoy the moment. I didn't switch on anything, except for my freezer still on. and also radio. So, the hour without facing the computer, I tidied the house a bit in the dark and the rest of the time, I was busy lighting up the candles which went off by the wind.
So, what is the significance? I dunno. Just to let people know that I'm aware of the Hour. And I believe, the awareness towards saving the earth can start by switching off the lights for an hour. Although it doesn't save so much of the electric, but it creates the awareness among people.
Right... I need to go to sleep. 5 hours lecture again tomorrow. Long Day. I had great time today. Thanks people! Nights!
So we ate, while the lights were on. We cabut right before 8pm, and we all rushed back home as we have further plans. Daph planned to go shopping with her brother and Siew Li and Me rushed back to enjoy the hour. So I drove home like mad driver, cause I want to switch ON the lights so that I get to switch them off at the strike of 8.30pm. Just in time, 5 minutes before 8.30pm, I arrived home and turn on all lights. Just to mark the hour. Hurriedly i prepare my phone to video the KLCC and KL tower switch off their lights and went to hunt for candle.
So, everything was switched off and I lighten up the candles, placed them at the balcony and enjoy the moment. I didn't switch on anything, except for my freezer still on. and also radio. So, the hour without facing the computer, I tidied the house a bit in the dark and the rest of the time, I was busy lighting up the candles which went off by the wind.
So, what is the significance? I dunno. Just to let people know that I'm aware of the Hour. And I believe, the awareness towards saving the earth can start by switching off the lights for an hour. Although it doesn't save so much of the electric, but it creates the awareness among people.
Right... I need to go to sleep. 5 hours lecture again tomorrow. Long Day. I had great time today. Thanks people! Nights!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
28.03.09
It happen....
Situation 1.
Yesterday we went to Tenji Japanese Buffet Restaurant. Inside was quite packed as people lined up to enter since some 10 minutes ago while we busy taking picture outside. During the meal, I went to the drink corner to get some coconut. When I arrived, I saw two line. Me, the second one on the right queue, and darren was the first in the left line. Behind him, there was a guy. So, that made me the 4th. But the guy behind me let me have the coconuts first. Hmmm, how nice.
Situation 2.
I went to the Bank this afternoon, to withdraw money. So there were two ATM Machine. Both occupied with people but nobody's behind them, so I went to queue on the 2nd Machine. Then came a girl, queue up on the 1st Machine. Who knows, the guy in front of me turtle and the guy at the 1st Machine done with his transaction. The girl behind him, tap me softly, asking me to go first with the 1st Machine. I told her it's alright but she still insist. How nice. I smiled at her as thank you.
Hmmm, I find it weird cause recently my experience with people queuing up and courtesy is really bad, and people has no decency at all. Sorry to say, all this bad experience was in the BAC. Not only guys, ladies also cut queues. WTH. There was once I stared fiercely at the girl who cut the queue into the lift, and I rush in to sort of fight with her for the last space in the lift. Of course, she need to step out. Muahahaha. Queue up lah people, have some decency.
While a lot of friends complained about this, probably the minority of the people there doesn't care about what others think. Not even simple courtesy may be. A friend got pissed after toilet break as someone tried to cut her queue and after being told, that person still acted like a b*tch. If this happens western country, the guys would probably drag this cut queue people to the back or simply yell at them. Again, if these people who used to cut queue happen to be in the western countries, i bet they act nicely there, queue and wait. How different!
On the other hand, it's Earth Day (Hour?) today and tomorrow, 27th and 28th. And on 28th, in supporting the WWF, we got to switch off our lights from 8.30 pm to 9.30pm. What am I going to do? What are you going to do? Support? Me alone using 2 lights the whole night. So, I probably contribute a bit to the use of electric. I plan to go to some restaurant that supports the Earth Day so that I can experience dining with candles without the lights. Hmm...
Ikea Brochure
Right.... I'm going back to sleep. Have a blessed weekend! As for me and fella coursemates, Happy Sitting Long hours in Lectures. Haha!
Situation 1.
Yesterday we went to Tenji Japanese Buffet Restaurant. Inside was quite packed as people lined up to enter since some 10 minutes ago while we busy taking picture outside. During the meal, I went to the drink corner to get some coconut. When I arrived, I saw two line. Me, the second one on the right queue, and darren was the first in the left line. Behind him, there was a guy. So, that made me the 4th. But the guy behind me let me have the coconuts first. Hmmm, how nice.
Situation 2.
I went to the Bank this afternoon, to withdraw money. So there were two ATM Machine. Both occupied with people but nobody's behind them, so I went to queue on the 2nd Machine. Then came a girl, queue up on the 1st Machine. Who knows, the guy in front of me turtle and the guy at the 1st Machine done with his transaction. The girl behind him, tap me softly, asking me to go first with the 1st Machine. I told her it's alright but she still insist. How nice. I smiled at her as thank you.
Hmmm, I find it weird cause recently my experience with people queuing up and courtesy is really bad, and people has no decency at all. Sorry to say, all this bad experience was in the BAC. Not only guys, ladies also cut queues. WTH. There was once I stared fiercely at the girl who cut the queue into the lift, and I rush in to sort of fight with her for the last space in the lift. Of course, she need to step out. Muahahaha. Queue up lah people, have some decency.
While a lot of friends complained about this, probably the minority of the people there doesn't care about what others think. Not even simple courtesy may be. A friend got pissed after toilet break as someone tried to cut her queue and after being told, that person still acted like a b*tch. If this happens western country, the guys would probably drag this cut queue people to the back or simply yell at them. Again, if these people who used to cut queue happen to be in the western countries, i bet they act nicely there, queue and wait. How different!
On the other hand, it's Earth Day (Hour?) today and tomorrow, 27th and 28th. And on 28th, in supporting the WWF, we got to switch off our lights from 8.30 pm to 9.30pm. What am I going to do? What are you going to do? Support? Me alone using 2 lights the whole night. So, I probably contribute a bit to the use of electric. I plan to go to some restaurant that supports the Earth Day so that I can experience dining with candles without the lights. Hmm...
Ikea BrochureThursday, March 26, 2009
Jet Lag
It's 5am now and I'm still up. Grrr... i want to sleep but i'm not sleepy. Jet Lag? May be? or May be because of the nap that i took this afternoon, which, i overslept and in the end didn't go to the afternoon class.
I had weird dream, dream of the same kind that i had during the flight back to Malaysia. Probably I haven't transit from the fast pace in London to slow and steady back at home. Yea, i dreamt of things moving very fast around me and me being tensed. Probably because while in London, I need to take care of my parents and be that tour guide. I must know where is the tube station, which one we're going to, which station to change and which line to take. Where shall we go, where is that place, which tube station is the nearest so that my mom doesn't need to walk so much. I need to know all this before hand. In the plane flying back here, i still dream of tube station. People were moving very fast!
So, I got up in the evening and get ready to go class. I took the highway, cause i know the normal way would be jam. I didn't see the signboard so i took the normal way to TY's house, which i thought would lead me to KL. Norpe. I didn't see any KL sign. From Damansara, to Ara Damansara, to Subang to USJ Heights, landed me at the Kinrara Highway to Bukit Jalil, and then to City. Took me freaking an hour and plus. Stupid. I know i should have just go back or turn to somewhere instead of going to class, cause when i reach the class, it's another hour to go. I walked into the class pretend that I came from the toilet or something, not the have it written on my face "i was late!!!". I walked past allen and he says "you better don't come then". -___-'''
I came to class, cause I want to meet the people. Haha. stupid one hour, most of the time i tried to pay attention, but instead, we were giggling and catching up.
Now, I suppose to run some errand tomorrow morning, which is later, few hours time. But not sure now. haha.
I've just transferred all the photos I took during the trip and it's more than 1000 photos. I'll just need time to filter.
So, now, i'll try to go to sleep. Nighty nights.
I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to see you again. I'm glad, there are people waiting for me to come back. God Bless you!
Took this on the way to BAC in the evening.
I had weird dream, dream of the same kind that i had during the flight back to Malaysia. Probably I haven't transit from the fast pace in London to slow and steady back at home. Yea, i dreamt of things moving very fast around me and me being tensed. Probably because while in London, I need to take care of my parents and be that tour guide. I must know where is the tube station, which one we're going to, which station to change and which line to take. Where shall we go, where is that place, which tube station is the nearest so that my mom doesn't need to walk so much. I need to know all this before hand. In the plane flying back here, i still dream of tube station. People were moving very fast!
So, I got up in the evening and get ready to go class. I took the highway, cause i know the normal way would be jam. I didn't see the signboard so i took the normal way to TY's house, which i thought would lead me to KL. Norpe. I didn't see any KL sign. From Damansara, to Ara Damansara, to Subang to USJ Heights, landed me at the Kinrara Highway to Bukit Jalil, and then to City. Took me freaking an hour and plus. Stupid. I know i should have just go back or turn to somewhere instead of going to class, cause when i reach the class, it's another hour to go. I walked into the class pretend that I came from the toilet or something, not the have it written on my face "i was late!!!". I walked past allen and he says "you better don't come then". -___-'''
I came to class, cause I want to meet the people. Haha. stupid one hour, most of the time i tried to pay attention, but instead, we were giggling and catching up.
Now, I suppose to run some errand tomorrow morning, which is later, few hours time. But not sure now. haha.
I've just transferred all the photos I took during the trip and it's more than 1000 photos. I'll just need time to filter.
So, now, i'll try to go to sleep. Nighty nights.
I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to see you again. I'm glad, there are people waiting for me to come back. God Bless you!
Took this on the way to BAC in the evening.Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Acknowledgment
Tell if if this worth 10pound, cause I don't have any proper photo of me on the stage. In fact, i think, none!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
21.03.09
Since i can't login to FB, so I came here to update a bit about me here. The keyboard of the PC is not the standard US keyboard so i'm gonna make it short here. either that, i'll just ignore all the typo error and just type it out fast.
First two days in LOndon, we still have jet lag because of time difference. I slept throughout the journey, woke up just to eat and then continue to sleep. probablz because i ddinät have enough sleep fro the past few nights before leaving to london. the drinking and the lack of sleep plus classes gave me a good sleep throughout the 13 hours in the plane. when we almost arrive London, i was like.... can we flz for another 10 hours so that i can sleep more?
(the z and y on the keyboard is terbalik... and a lot of other signs)
it's not that cold in london, except that when thereäs wind. the first night i was in london, anson called and scolded me, how come i didnät let him know Iäm coming over to UK. Thanks to ty, he called and the next daz, he came over to meet up with me. His friends came to shop and he accompanied me with parents to Harrods then dinner with keet.
the graduation ceremonz was great. the ceremonz itself was alright, but what makes me excited was being able to meet friends.
so, now iäm in paris. going back to london tomm. caänt wait, cause itäs freaking cold here.
k... gotta stop now, cause the kezboard is torturing me. shall scrap this post off when i go back home and have proper post.
in the mean time, take care. miss you poeple. Ty, say hi to daph. tell her... i thought of texting her but i don have her number in my phone. haha. lousy me. hahahaha. oh ty, i canät text now. left 1 pound credit. but itäs okaz. iäm going back alreadz mondaz night.
buhbye
First two days in LOndon, we still have jet lag because of time difference. I slept throughout the journey, woke up just to eat and then continue to sleep. probablz because i ddinät have enough sleep fro the past few nights before leaving to london. the drinking and the lack of sleep plus classes gave me a good sleep throughout the 13 hours in the plane. when we almost arrive London, i was like.... can we flz for another 10 hours so that i can sleep more?
(the z and y on the keyboard is terbalik... and a lot of other signs)
it's not that cold in london, except that when thereäs wind. the first night i was in london, anson called and scolded me, how come i didnät let him know Iäm coming over to UK. Thanks to ty, he called and the next daz, he came over to meet up with me. His friends came to shop and he accompanied me with parents to Harrods then dinner with keet.
the graduation ceremonz was great. the ceremonz itself was alright, but what makes me excited was being able to meet friends.
so, now iäm in paris. going back to london tomm. caänt wait, cause itäs freaking cold here.
k... gotta stop now, cause the kezboard is torturing me. shall scrap this post off when i go back home and have proper post.
in the mean time, take care. miss you poeple. Ty, say hi to daph. tell her... i thought of texting her but i don have her number in my phone. haha. lousy me. hahahaha. oh ty, i canät text now. left 1 pound credit. but itäs okaz. iäm going back alreadz mondaz night.
buhbye
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Time pass slowly please
I slept like 13 hours last night, after 3 days of classes. It's like non-stop classes, from Friday night, to Saturday morning till evening, to Sunday morning till 2pm. Crazey. I always wish if we can have caravan here, so that I can park it right outside the college. Haha.
I feel like cooking when I woke up this morning, so in the noon, I went out for lunch plus groceries shopping. See, I don't normally talk about lunch and groceries shopping, but today, it was public holiday and I didn't expect that it jammed all the way from the main road into the car park. Absolute crazy! And inside the mall, it was packed with people that I have to walk slowly. grrr. Who says it's recession now and here and we gotta start saving up?
So I cooked pasta at night and it was kinda bad. Normally it is good, but probably because it's been a year since the last time i cooked pasta, so, everything is out of proportionate. I poured too much of milk that it looks like as if I'm cooking soup. The cooking oil has expired and the only thing that I have in the fridge is vegetable spread. So, haha, the food sucks!
Anyways, I have class again tomorrow. Just rested for a day and I feel like I didn't do anything. bleh.
How are you lately...
I feel like cooking when I woke up this morning, so in the noon, I went out for lunch plus groceries shopping. See, I don't normally talk about lunch and groceries shopping, but today, it was public holiday and I didn't expect that it jammed all the way from the main road into the car park. Absolute crazy! And inside the mall, it was packed with people that I have to walk slowly. grrr. Who says it's recession now and here and we gotta start saving up?
So I cooked pasta at night and it was kinda bad. Normally it is good, but probably because it's been a year since the last time i cooked pasta, so, everything is out of proportionate. I poured too much of milk that it looks like as if I'm cooking soup. The cooking oil has expired and the only thing that I have in the fridge is vegetable spread. So, haha, the food sucks!
Anyways, I have class again tomorrow. Just rested for a day and I feel like I didn't do anything. bleh.
How are you lately...
Saturday, March 07, 2009
07.03.09
It was one of the nights where I'm feeling so empty. Was driving back from class and don't know what am I doing. It was Friday and I know, I need to be in my cell, so I went. I didn't want to do anything but to sit among people whom once close to me, still, now. I just want to sit there and be in my own world while someone is sharing. And I was hoping that the sharing last forever cause I don't feel like doing anything else but to just enjoy the moment of 'being home'.
My mind flew back to the time with the ex-cell leader with ex-cell members. The cozy feeling of having each other, the sense of security and belonging that i look forward every week. Not that I don't feel it now, it's because I'm not heavily active in others' life and also the cell and the church, and they're not really in my life now. Suddenly I thought of the times where my cell leader being my big buddy. AT times where I stone in cell, she always knew something is wrong with me. And she knew it how to differentiate between the troubled face and the boring face, cause I'll just stone. Though I don't tell her a lot of things, whether I'm going through hard time or not, she'll just know it and always, say the right thing. I really miss those time, be weak and cry over her shoulder, throw all the burden aside and just let it be. And now,I know, I have to stand on my own.
I'm so lost, I told Celest. Though i don't feel like seeing anyone, or talking even, I went to cell, i told her. My thoughts are every where, I can't even explain to her how am I lost. I can't help but tears just fly out when Celest pray for me. I am really so tired.
But I still need to continue on, keep going on, persevere and hang in there. I am strong, as I always will, and I will be.
ps: Thanks for the text tonight. You'll never know how touched I was. I sang that song by myself all the way back home just now, with the radio on. Miss you loads :)
My mind flew back to the time with the ex-cell leader with ex-cell members. The cozy feeling of having each other, the sense of security and belonging that i look forward every week. Not that I don't feel it now, it's because I'm not heavily active in others' life and also the cell and the church, and they're not really in my life now. Suddenly I thought of the times where my cell leader being my big buddy. AT times where I stone in cell, she always knew something is wrong with me. And she knew it how to differentiate between the troubled face and the boring face, cause I'll just stone. Though I don't tell her a lot of things, whether I'm going through hard time or not, she'll just know it and always, say the right thing. I really miss those time, be weak and cry over her shoulder, throw all the burden aside and just let it be. And now,I know, I have to stand on my own.
I'm so lost, I told Celest. Though i don't feel like seeing anyone, or talking even, I went to cell, i told her. My thoughts are every where, I can't even explain to her how am I lost. I can't help but tears just fly out when Celest pray for me. I am really so tired.
But I still need to continue on, keep going on, persevere and hang in there. I am strong, as I always will, and I will be.
ps: Thanks for the text tonight. You'll never know how touched I was. I sang that song by myself all the way back home just now, with the radio on. Miss you loads :)
Friday, March 06, 2009
The Appeal
I was doing my reading while clicking on random blogs that i came across this. A letter of appeal from a citizen to the Politician, taken from a full page advert in The Star newspaper on 26th Feb 09. It just amazes me how far this person went to reach out to our government (it cost him more than Rm36,000). I wonder whether the Politicians just laugh about it or bury their face somewhere because of shame. It's sort of like a big slap on their face, telling them not to lost focus on what they suppose to do.
The Letter ...
Dear Malaysian Politicians,
Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.
I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments.
Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.
Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.
I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.
Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.
Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.
Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.
Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.
Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.
Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.
So this is my plea.
Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.
Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.
BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.
Focus on the people.
Focus on the economy.
Anas Zubedy
Managing Director
Zubedy (M) Sdn Bhd
Blessed are the peacemaker, for they shall inherit the earth. May God bless Anas Zubedy, that he may be a blessings to people around him, and inspire the others about what we can really do now, instead of crying over things that we don't have in control.
The Letter ...
Dear Malaysian Politicians,
Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.
I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments.
Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.
Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.
I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.
Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.
Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.
Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.
Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.
Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.
Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.
So this is my plea.
Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.
Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.
BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.
Focus on the people.
Focus on the economy.
Anas Zubedy
Managing Director
Zubedy (M) Sdn Bhd
Blessed are the peacemaker, for they shall inherit the earth. May God bless Anas Zubedy, that he may be a blessings to people around him, and inspire the others about what we can really do now, instead of crying over things that we don't have in control.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Just Us
The evening before my brother left Sydney to go back home to work, he suggested that we visit the Apple Centre in town the next day morning. The shop opens at 8.30, so we need to walk from hotel at 8am, which means I need to wake up at 7.30am. 7.30am is like 4.30am Malaysia time? Well, during the holidays in Australia, I need to drag myself out of the bed every day at 8.30am, which is 5.30am in Malaysia and in Malaysia, I wake up at 11am.
George St. at 8am
But well, this particular morning, I woke up early, cause i couldn't sleep well. Cause I know, brother is leaving to go back home to his little family and start working that evening. So, I was up early and my both brothers were up too. So, we walked to the Apple Centre for 25 minutes.
Burger King or Hungry Jacks
See, it's not really about the Apple Centre, which 3 of us have the same common thing, going to computer store and stroll around. We used to do this on Saturdays, when I was back in hometown and when elder brother is free from work. It's more about, the time we have together, just the three of us.
I dunno why i took this :p
I let the guys walked in front, while me, busy taking picture, and of course, enjoy the moment of seeing the two guys walking together and chatting away and being able to see my elder brother physically.
The church City Hall
My elder brother and I are very close since young. We went classes and lessons together. We fought of course and held our hands to sleep when we're afraid. And now, having to spend personal time together is really limited, with him having a wife now, and younger brother and I constantly try to get his attention. It's never been enough...
It's TGV - The Galeries Victoria
Queens Victoria Building, the mall that we went the most.
Sydney Tower, at 8.15am
So, here we are, at the Apple Centre of Sydney. Crazy 4 floors centre. I thought, which crazy poeple come to the shop to buy gadgets early in the morning. But true enough, the person that went in together with us, bought a bluetooth headset and a daddy with the daughter came to buy a macbook.
The Apple Centre, with transparent stairs.
Just half an hour there, we walked back to hotel again. On the way, dad called to wake us up, but to their surprise, we're up and ready already! And mom and dad were like "where did ya'll go??" We just smiled :)
I miss the time of 3 of us together, whoops.... 4 actually, including sister in law, no.. 5, including lil sister. haha. When am I going to Sydney again?
ps: I wrote a sad post at first, but wanted to be happy, so I wrote about my brothers, but it turned out to be an emo post >.<
George St. at 8am
But well, this particular morning, I woke up early, cause i couldn't sleep well. Cause I know, brother is leaving to go back home to his little family and start working that evening. So, I was up early and my both brothers were up too. So, we walked to the Apple Centre for 25 minutes.
Burger King or Hungry Jacks
See, it's not really about the Apple Centre, which 3 of us have the same common thing, going to computer store and stroll around. We used to do this on Saturdays, when I was back in hometown and when elder brother is free from work. It's more about, the time we have together, just the three of us.
I dunno why i took this :p
I let the guys walked in front, while me, busy taking picture, and of course, enjoy the moment of seeing the two guys walking together and chatting away and being able to see my elder brother physically.
My elder brother and I are very close since young. We went classes and lessons together. We fought of course and held our hands to sleep when we're afraid. And now, having to spend personal time together is really limited, with him having a wife now, and younger brother and I constantly try to get his attention. It's never been enough...
It's TGV - The Galeries Victoria
Queens Victoria Building, the mall that we went the most.
Sydney Tower, at 8.15am
So, here we are, at the Apple Centre of Sydney. Crazy 4 floors centre. I thought, which crazy poeple come to the shop to buy gadgets early in the morning. But true enough, the person that went in together with us, bought a bluetooth headset and a daddy with the daughter came to buy a macbook.
The Apple Centre, with transparent stairs.
Just half an hour there, we walked back to hotel again. On the way, dad called to wake us up, but to their surprise, we're up and ready already! And mom and dad were like "where did ya'll go??" We just smiled :)
I miss the time of 3 of us together, whoops.... 4 actually, including sister in law, no.. 5, including lil sister. haha. When am I going to Sydney again?
ps: I wrote a sad post at first, but wanted to be happy, so I wrote about my brothers, but it turned out to be an emo post >.<
Friday, February 20, 2009
20.02.09
I figured I need to spill something out. Not sure what, nothing in particular to talk about, I just know, I need to type something, to express something out, so here am I in my blog.
It's been a while, it has been roller coaster since the beginning of the year. Last year ended well I can say, I greeted the new year with fresh hope and new perspective of how I want to live my life this year. It's not easy, to let go of excess baggage from last year and bring along only the necessary things in life to move on to the new year. But yet, the new year will still come and wait for no one. So, I hopped on to the bus, leaving the unnecessary things and move on.
What perspective that I've changed. I really don't know. I just know, I need to be happy. I figured that I've lost the glow on my face, that happy-go-lucky glow, that glow that able to bring a smile on the face of strangers, that kind of glow that people would like to see, that kind of glow that draws people to you. I used to be a sunshine girl, but now, I really don't know.
As bored as life can be, I tried to colour it up with different colours. Been meeting old friends and new friends for the past two weeks, catching up with life that we didn't get to share, digging out all stories, especially the sad part and the struggles. Went to catch some movies and did some exercise. Life has been good lately, well, I tried to.
I want to find back my glow, to be the sunshine once again.
I'll be on a trip again, in 3 weeks time, to a place that I've known since young. It's a mixture of feeling, sad and happy. I still regret, for I missed the bus 2 years ago, and also one year ago. Life move on yea, but that doesn't beat a dream that I had for more than 20 years. I know, life is not just about that one little dream, and there is more in life than that one little dream. And probably I haven't even seen the real world yet, and probably that dream is only some dream. Only those that understand this, understands me.
Whether I have a chance to live that dream, I really don't know. But this dream, is still, one of the thing that I'm carrying along.
It was my bro's idea.
Taken in the park at Darling Harbour, Sydney.
It felt so peaceful, to lie down on the green green grass.
Look up and the sun is right on top.
Reminds me of, green pasture, Psalm 23.
It's been a while, it has been roller coaster since the beginning of the year. Last year ended well I can say, I greeted the new year with fresh hope and new perspective of how I want to live my life this year. It's not easy, to let go of excess baggage from last year and bring along only the necessary things in life to move on to the new year. But yet, the new year will still come and wait for no one. So, I hopped on to the bus, leaving the unnecessary things and move on.
What perspective that I've changed. I really don't know. I just know, I need to be happy. I figured that I've lost the glow on my face, that happy-go-lucky glow, that glow that able to bring a smile on the face of strangers, that kind of glow that people would like to see, that kind of glow that draws people to you. I used to be a sunshine girl, but now, I really don't know.
As bored as life can be, I tried to colour it up with different colours. Been meeting old friends and new friends for the past two weeks, catching up with life that we didn't get to share, digging out all stories, especially the sad part and the struggles. Went to catch some movies and did some exercise. Life has been good lately, well, I tried to.
I want to find back my glow, to be the sunshine once again.
I'll be on a trip again, in 3 weeks time, to a place that I've known since young. It's a mixture of feeling, sad and happy. I still regret, for I missed the bus 2 years ago, and also one year ago. Life move on yea, but that doesn't beat a dream that I had for more than 20 years. I know, life is not just about that one little dream, and there is more in life than that one little dream. And probably I haven't even seen the real world yet, and probably that dream is only some dream. Only those that understand this, understands me.
Whether I have a chance to live that dream, I really don't know. But this dream, is still, one of the thing that I'm carrying along.
It was my bro's idea.
Taken in the park at Darling Harbour, Sydney.
It felt so peaceful, to lie down on the green green grass.
Look up and the sun is right on top.
Reminds me of, green pasture, Psalm 23.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
saw this outside the airport when I just arrived from Tawau back to KK.
Not sure what kind of advert or notification is that.
I wonder whether anyone wud get the first page of
the main newspaper to confess his/her love.
Oh well, we're flooded with occasions since the beginning of the year, full with buying gifts, sending over and receiving gifts. And now, another day to celebrate the love. A lot of people, especially the couples don't celebrate this day as it is a commercialised day, and they don't need this day to celebrate their love. they can celebrate love everyday of their time together. But for singles, we really need this day. haha. if we buy gifts for friends on any other day (other than special occasions), it would be really weird. So, to all singles, Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Happy Niu Year
It doesn't feel like Chinese New Year this time, as usually, the family spend CNY back in mom's hometown till 5th or 6th day. This year, we had a short trip as we have to come back to attend cousins' weddings. Short trip, but enough to make it memorable.
So now, I'm back in KK again, and it's more like wedding celebrations + party + meeting/catching up with friends, rather than CNY celebrations. Attended one wedding yesterday and another one tomorrow, and i run out of dresses. Bleh. Either i recycle (which i don't mind) or I'll go for quick shopping to hunt for dress.
A very close friend came back again from Perth and the last time we've met was 5 months ago, after 8 years. 8 years of no contact with each other, and somehow friendster brought us together again. haha. So, we met up every night since I'm back in KK, catch up on each other's life, even during movies, we talked about other stuff. yea, i know, we should have just go to a coffee shop and talk all we want. haha.. what happen to us for the past 8 years, there's a lot to talk about. haha.
Anyways, for now, Happy Niu Year!! May God bless ya'll abundantly, guiding you wherever you go, giving you all the wisdom that you need in life and May good health, good life, good career/studies be upon you. And please don't listen to the horoscope. they're all crap. it says everything is bad for people who is born in the year of Dog, so, that means I don't need to live? haha.... crap!!
So, good night!
So now, I'm back in KK again, and it's more like wedding celebrations + party + meeting/catching up with friends, rather than CNY celebrations. Attended one wedding yesterday and another one tomorrow, and i run out of dresses. Bleh. Either i recycle (which i don't mind) or I'll go for quick shopping to hunt for dress.
A very close friend came back again from Perth and the last time we've met was 5 months ago, after 8 years. 8 years of no contact with each other, and somehow friendster brought us together again. haha. So, we met up every night since I'm back in KK, catch up on each other's life, even during movies, we talked about other stuff. yea, i know, we should have just go to a coffee shop and talk all we want. haha.. what happen to us for the past 8 years, there's a lot to talk about. haha.
Anyways, for now, Happy Niu Year!! May God bless ya'll abundantly, guiding you wherever you go, giving you all the wisdom that you need in life and May good health, good life, good career/studies be upon you. And please don't listen to the horoscope. they're all crap. it says everything is bad for people who is born in the year of Dog, so, that means I don't need to live? haha.... crap!!
So, good night!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Hello 2009
It's been 2 weeks since the new year, and I'm quite settled down after the holiday and christmas-new year break. Back in classes and still busy tidying up the house. Anyways, it was a great holiday, just spending time with bro and wifey. Dad says we had this trip just to check out the newly wed couple and see how are they settling down.
Well, shops were closed on Christmas Day and some on Boxing day, so we gotta buy groceries before the day and cook our own.
There's no where to go, around the neighbourhood, so we just stayed at home and play, Scrabbles. Our cheeky lil brother complained how unfair is it, as all of us are uni graduates and my bro and wife are working, there's no way he can beat us... yah dah yah dah... but who knows, he won. Highest point!! blehh..
Boxing day, we had opportunity to fly in a 4 seater plane. Lil bro, newly appoined co-pilot, flew us for a while like half an hour, until he got noxious and the plane went up and down like car going through bumps on the road. hahaha.. there is not air cond inside and the window's up. so, it was a bit stuffy. I almost throw out, and kept telling myself, we're gonna land soon, we're gonna land soon. so, tahan till we landed. haha...
The post christmas sales in crazy were crazy. we just went around town, walk and walk and walk, until we're really hungry and went to one of the japanese restaurant and we still need to wait for 25 minutes to get a table. We bumped to a teacher of mine from high school a few days later in this same restaurant. How cool! haha...
Anyways, we really had great time, especially that we had our sister in law to ourselves without brother around for 2 days, and then just brother without sister in law for 4 days. They had different shifts, but all good. If not, they'll just busy paktoh by themselves and abandon us.
More photos, check out my FB. right now, just me and the happy thoughts. Probably will blog about new year resolution sometime later.
Cheers!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thanksgiving
If I were to describe my year with a box of colour pencil, i would say, this year, 2008, is filled with different type of colour, resembling, different phase of life and the ups and downs. It didn't start off well, as it was the final semester of my law degree. While not depending so much on the lecturer, i have force myself to self-study and hence, landed myself with 43 marks for family law. haha.
I would say, the greatest achievement in life so far, is graduating LLB with a second lower division. Even until now, i still think that it's a big miracle, not that I don't have confidence, not that I don't believe in myself, but just the percentage of people passing is low, what more with a second lower division. it still hasn't sink in yet, that I graduate my LLB and my college is still KDU (living in self-denial i guess... haha). Graduating my 1st degree is not as happy as graduating my 2nd degree, and my parents, still happy till now :)
And to mark another chapter of my life, is the addition of the new member into my family, my sister in law. WE're 5 now. What's more fun, I get to do girl stuff like what sisters do.
While trying to adapt to new environment of studies and the fact that I'm not able to go UK for bar/master, I bought new to keep myself happy. A voilin and a psp.
yea, her name is Carmen
Looking back, how silly I was, thinking of things that I don't have which makes me unhappy. Human just never learn to be contended in life and keep looking at things that we don't have. Quoting Ps Daniel Tan on his message during the last Resonate Service, "don't keep looking at the hole but look at the CHEESE". A lot of times, we keep complaining on the holes of the cheese and not changing our perspective and view, that other than the hole, there's also REAL cheese around the hole.
I am so contended, in God, I thank Him, for all the blessings He gave me.
(okay. photos later as I'm blogging from Australia. Yupp, in Australia now, currently in NSW. Love it here. update later).
So people, Merry Christmas!!! Joy to the World, for the Lord has come!!
I would say, the greatest achievement in life so far, is graduating LLB with a second lower division. Even until now, i still think that it's a big miracle, not that I don't have confidence, not that I don't believe in myself, but just the percentage of people passing is low, what more with a second lower division. it still hasn't sink in yet, that I graduate my LLB and my college is still KDU (living in self-denial i guess... haha). Graduating my 1st degree is not as happy as graduating my 2nd degree, and my parents, still happy till now :)
And to mark another chapter of my life, is the addition of the new member into my family, my sister in law. WE're 5 now. What's more fun, I get to do girl stuff like what sisters do.
While trying to adapt to new environment of studies and the fact that I'm not able to go UK for bar/master, I bought new to keep myself happy. A voilin and a psp.
yea, her name is Carmen
Looking back, how silly I was, thinking of things that I don't have which makes me unhappy. Human just never learn to be contended in life and keep looking at things that we don't have. Quoting Ps Daniel Tan on his message during the last Resonate Service, "don't keep looking at the hole but look at the CHEESE". A lot of times, we keep complaining on the holes of the cheese and not changing our perspective and view, that other than the hole, there's also REAL cheese around the hole.
I am so contended, in God, I thank Him, for all the blessings He gave me.
(okay. photos later as I'm blogging from Australia. Yupp, in Australia now, currently in NSW. Love it here. update later).
So people, Merry Christmas!!! Joy to the World, for the Lord has come!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Drawing Class
It didn't start out well. Before we experience it ourselves, we were given bad impression about it. Not sure if it's the bad perception that I had, or it's really the truth, but I know, it's not gonna be an easy way.
On our very first class, the lecturer welcomed us "Welcome to hell!!". -__-
Sometimes when I'm bored in class, I'll make some sketches on the notes or book, but never get to draw so much, as much as much as now.
After 6 weeks, one subject finished its syllabus and another 2 half way done. And I, only finish reading half of the syllabus of the first subject.
Sad. while struggling with this, I'm still thinking whether this is the way that it should be. I've missed the train 3 times, and I start to think, I am really a failure in planning for myself. or should i say, i don't even know how to plan for myself. I remember uncle N said, do and decide things based on your own conviction, not others opinion/suggestion/whatsoever. But, whatever plan that i have, it will be crush down. It make me start to think that, I'm no good in this, can't even decide for myself. All I can do, which I'm good in it, is sit down and cry, later pick myself up and continue on walking the way I should be.
Is CLP the only option? While it is the perception that girls should get married when they're in the age of 28 and everyone will start panicking if girls still not married at the age of 30, While it is the perception that we should start earning money at my age and not still depending and relying on parents for money, it sank into me that if i take a gap year, i would graduate as a lawyer at the age of 30.
Now, i dare not dream, dare not think. I can only think, of what I should do now. I'm not brave enough to crush the wall, not strong enough to prove the world that what I've decided is the best way. I dare not look far and plan, for so many things just pull me down and prevent me to fly higher. I always want to be outstanding, for i think life is not just about going along the flow, graduate, work, get married and have kids. But now I start to think, my dream, is far from reality. Not in terms that I cannot achieve it, but it seems unreachable.
I don't want to be anything other than me.
On our very first class, the lecturer welcomed us "Welcome to hell!!". -__-
Sometimes when I'm bored in class, I'll make some sketches on the notes or book, but never get to draw so much, as much as much as now.
After 6 weeks, one subject finished its syllabus and another 2 half way done. And I, only finish reading half of the syllabus of the first subject.
Sad. while struggling with this, I'm still thinking whether this is the way that it should be. I've missed the train 3 times, and I start to think, I am really a failure in planning for myself. or should i say, i don't even know how to plan for myself. I remember uncle N said, do and decide things based on your own conviction, not others opinion/suggestion/whatsoever. But, whatever plan that i have, it will be crush down. It make me start to think that, I'm no good in this, can't even decide for myself. All I can do, which I'm good in it, is sit down and cry, later pick myself up and continue on walking the way I should be.
Is CLP the only option? While it is the perception that girls should get married when they're in the age of 28 and everyone will start panicking if girls still not married at the age of 30, While it is the perception that we should start earning money at my age and not still depending and relying on parents for money, it sank into me that if i take a gap year, i would graduate as a lawyer at the age of 30.
Now, i dare not dream, dare not think. I can only think, of what I should do now. I'm not brave enough to crush the wall, not strong enough to prove the world that what I've decided is the best way. I dare not look far and plan, for so many things just pull me down and prevent me to fly higher. I always want to be outstanding, for i think life is not just about going along the flow, graduate, work, get married and have kids. But now I start to think, my dream, is far from reality. Not in terms that I cannot achieve it, but it seems unreachable.
I don't want to be anything other than me.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
01.10.08
It's been a while since the last time I update my blog. Not that I'm terribly busy, not that I've nothing to talk about.
It's been 3 weeks since CLP classes started, and it wasn't a good month. I felt i had been roller coaster of emotion since the beginning of the year. The 360 degree was during the month of May and June, and the up and down during month of July and August, calm and steady end of August and up and down again in September. Well, I'm quite burnt out actually. While probably it doesn't appear on my face, we still need to look forward and keep walking right?
I was looking through the settings of the blogspot.com, trying to figure out how to shut down my blog, since, I don't really blog, why should i keep it. Freedom of speech and expression doesn't really exist, while laws can't protect us, social pressure also became of the the "laws". The line between law and morality is still very blur, hence, I can't really talk much, but to reserve my posts to draft.
I'm slowly loosing a lot of parts of me, into becoming someone that i barely recognise. not to exagerate but, being cautious about my action/words just because some people doesn't like it instead of trying to be a better person is really tiring. Instead of being confident with myself, I'm slowly think very low of me. I really miss, being me.
So, what's with closing the blog, i thought, what the heck. Just because someone might interpret my writing wrongly doesn't mean i should stop writing. I almost forgot why i start up the blog in the first place. I just hope that through my experience, some people can pick up a 10 cent, or 20 cents or 50 cents. And it's through writing, I know more about myself. I really miss, the bold and courageous me.
While transferring the posts out of this blog, from the very 1st post, i read the comment by Ty, which stopped me from doing what i was doing. It somehow lifted me up, and encouraged me again. Looking at the comments in all the posts, really, not every one of it are good ones. While we expect to get the good comments, bad comments come too. But, constructive criticism especially from people that cares, are really more than just 50 cents. Cause they care, to tell you and they care, for the friendship. I really miss, having my mentors to be my side and keep poking me.
(dad accidentally read my post while blogging and pointed out a typo error :p)
Oh well... just a piece of me.
It's been 3 weeks since CLP classes started, and it wasn't a good month. I felt i had been roller coaster of emotion since the beginning of the year. The 360 degree was during the month of May and June, and the up and down during month of July and August, calm and steady end of August and up and down again in September. Well, I'm quite burnt out actually. While probably it doesn't appear on my face, we still need to look forward and keep walking right?
I was looking through the settings of the blogspot.com, trying to figure out how to shut down my blog, since, I don't really blog, why should i keep it. Freedom of speech and expression doesn't really exist, while laws can't protect us, social pressure also became of the the "laws". The line between law and morality is still very blur, hence, I can't really talk much, but to reserve my posts to draft.
I'm slowly loosing a lot of parts of me, into becoming someone that i barely recognise. not to exagerate but, being cautious about my action/words just because some people doesn't like it instead of trying to be a better person is really tiring. Instead of being confident with myself, I'm slowly think very low of me. I really miss, being me.
So, what's with closing the blog, i thought, what the heck. Just because someone might interpret my writing wrongly doesn't mean i should stop writing. I almost forgot why i start up the blog in the first place. I just hope that through my experience, some people can pick up a 10 cent, or 20 cents or 50 cents. And it's through writing, I know more about myself. I really miss, the bold and courageous me.
While transferring the posts out of this blog, from the very 1st post, i read the comment by Ty, which stopped me from doing what i was doing. It somehow lifted me up, and encouraged me again. Looking at the comments in all the posts, really, not every one of it are good ones. While we expect to get the good comments, bad comments come too. But, constructive criticism especially from people that cares, are really more than just 50 cents. Cause they care, to tell you and they care, for the friendship. I really miss, having my mentors to be my side and keep poking me.
(dad accidentally read my post while blogging and pointed out a typo error :p)
Oh well... just a piece of me.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Second Round
Few days back I received a call from someone that I didn't expect, but someone that I miss all the time. We talked and laughed, about stuff, just like usual.
That night, I was surfing the net as usual, when friend messaged and said, we can check our results online.
Heart beat rising up. Hands were shaking terrible. I tried to calm down. I went to the website and saw the information that I need to fill in.
Shit, i forgot what is my candidate number.
Made a few calls, but no one kept the exam slip. Sze finally found her, and told me hers.
I made a few try, while my parents 'lectured' me for not remembering my number.
Who would remember the number??
While over the phone with sze, webcam with yeng, suddenly i got my info correct, and the next seconds, my results appeared on the screen.
No 30+
No 30+
No 30+
No 30+
Award : Second Honours (Lower Division)
I jumped out of the chair and shouted. Body still shaking, i told sze what i've got. Yeng, of course heard me. The next moment, I was trying to hold my tears.
Mom ran down from upstairs, kept asking how is my result. I tried to hold my tears, but can't help it. Mom saw me kept wiping my tears.
She failed? Mom asked,
Noo..., dad
Huh? SHe failed ahh???
NOo... she passed!!!
Huh... She failed is it???
NO woh!!! She passed already!!!
After all the hard work, all the sweat and tears, I finally made it.
Thank YOU,
for all the encouragement, advice and support
for the time together toiling and burning midnight oil,
for all the study group together be it ikea, library, the discussion room or the cafeteria, the discussion and arguments, made a better me...
for the notes and tips that we shared (allowed me to day dream or go fishing during lecture)
for lending me all the notes whenever I missed classes, for preparing notes and books for me, (I know how terrible lazy and spoilt I am having you take care of me),
for taking the blame for not paying attention in the class (sorry!!!),
for being so selfless in studies and revision,
most importantly, thank you, You, YOu and yOU for being a great friend!!!
Above all, I thank God, for the miracle! I'm wearing mortar board, again! haha...
That night, I was surfing the net as usual, when friend messaged and said, we can check our results online.
Heart beat rising up. Hands were shaking terrible. I tried to calm down. I went to the website and saw the information that I need to fill in.
Shit, i forgot what is my candidate number.
Made a few calls, but no one kept the exam slip. Sze finally found her, and told me hers.
I made a few try, while my parents 'lectured' me for not remembering my number.
Who would remember the number??
While over the phone with sze, webcam with yeng, suddenly i got my info correct, and the next seconds, my results appeared on the screen.
No 30+
No 30+
No 30+
No 30+
Award : Second Honours (Lower Division)
I jumped out of the chair and shouted. Body still shaking, i told sze what i've got. Yeng, of course heard me. The next moment, I was trying to hold my tears.
Mom ran down from upstairs, kept asking how is my result. I tried to hold my tears, but can't help it. Mom saw me kept wiping my tears.
She failed? Mom asked,
Noo..., dad
Huh? SHe failed ahh???
NOo... she passed!!!
Huh... She failed is it???
NO woh!!! She passed already!!!
After all the hard work, all the sweat and tears, I finally made it.
Thank YOU,
for all the encouragement, advice and support
for the time together toiling and burning midnight oil,
for all the study group together be it ikea, library, the discussion room or the cafeteria, the discussion and arguments, made a better me...
for the notes and tips that we shared (allowed me to day dream or go fishing during lecture)
for lending me all the notes whenever I missed classes, for preparing notes and books for me, (I know how terrible lazy and spoilt I am having you take care of me),
for taking the blame for not paying attention in the class (sorry!!!),
for being so selfless in studies and revision,
most importantly, thank you, You, YOu and yOU for being a great friend!!!
Above all, I thank God, for the miracle! I'm wearing mortar board, again! haha...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Finally
I'm home again.
Was on the way back from the airport just now when suddenly, i feel the calmness in me. Hmm, something which is not familiar since I was busy for the past 2 months. The last 2 weeks was roller coaster but all good. Indescribable.
So, I'm going to enjoy my 2 weeks holiday, REAL holiday. No phone calls, no errands to be done, no appointment, nothing. I'm just gonna stay at home, and be lazy.
The highlight of the month is, my elder brother is married. the wedding day was great, apart from the stress that i almost cried, apart from all the hiccups during the dinner at night, it was all good. In between the wedding celebration, the siblings and newly adopted half sibling, Ruth and I went to Penang for visit. Then the wedding dinner at KL, which was great as well. No hiccups and we all enjoyed ourselves. It's amazing looking at the story of the newly wed couple, how God work in their life and how God brought them together.
Will try to post some pictures. Excluding photos from the professional photographers, we combined all the pictures that we took ourselves and altogether is it about 1000 photos. So, need some time to look through it and post them.
Till then, have a great week!
God Bless!
Was on the way back from the airport just now when suddenly, i feel the calmness in me. Hmm, something which is not familiar since I was busy for the past 2 months. The last 2 weeks was roller coaster but all good. Indescribable.
So, I'm going to enjoy my 2 weeks holiday, REAL holiday. No phone calls, no errands to be done, no appointment, nothing. I'm just gonna stay at home, and be lazy.
The highlight of the month is, my elder brother is married. the wedding day was great, apart from the stress that i almost cried, apart from all the hiccups during the dinner at night, it was all good. In between the wedding celebration, the siblings and newly adopted half sibling, Ruth and I went to Penang for visit. Then the wedding dinner at KL, which was great as well. No hiccups and we all enjoyed ourselves. It's amazing looking at the story of the newly wed couple, how God work in their life and how God brought them together.
Will try to post some pictures. Excluding photos from the professional photographers, we combined all the pictures that we took ourselves and altogether is it about 1000 photos. So, need some time to look through it and post them.
Till then, have a great week!
God Bless!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Half
it's always half empty.
maybe i'm living with perfectionist, that i can't live up to their standard.
it's always half empty glass.
why can't you see that it's half full?
everyday there's always something to complain about.
the day is not crooked, the plant is watered, the food is cooked on the table, the bills are paid, the cars always with filled with oil. what is missing here?
3 months ago....
oh come one. give me a break. things that happened 3 months ago and still not solved?
5 years ago....
what??!! 5 years ago and you still dig it out???
i still can't find my way, the kind of life i want to lead, the values i want to hold on to in life and the life principle that is non-negotiable.
as i'm still staying under parent's roof, and a quarter century old, I'm not totally involved in the society yet. I'm covered, protected and hence, have that perfect idea of how i want my life to be. but yet, everything went wrong when i come back home.
Forgive others as God forgives you. No, i can't see that. People hold grudges.
Love is patient. No, love is selfish.
On one hand, i'm giving up on the values that i thought i'm going to live on. But on the other hand, I wanted to make a difference. to live a different life, from what the adults has showed. I know no one is perfect, but we do live towards perfection, to be better each day.
I still don't believe and never want to live the life like them, to hold grudges, doesn't want to let go, to live each day taking for granted the person sleeping next to you, or even person in the same house under the same roof, or life that you're investing. I don't want to bring on the excess baggage each day as I get older each year.
Life is too short to hold grudges on people. But too bad, not many people appreciate this.
maybe i'm living with perfectionist, that i can't live up to their standard.
it's always half empty glass.
why can't you see that it's half full?
everyday there's always something to complain about.
the day is not crooked, the plant is watered, the food is cooked on the table, the bills are paid, the cars always with filled with oil. what is missing here?
3 months ago....
oh come one. give me a break. things that happened 3 months ago and still not solved?
5 years ago....
what??!! 5 years ago and you still dig it out???
i still can't find my way, the kind of life i want to lead, the values i want to hold on to in life and the life principle that is non-negotiable.
as i'm still staying under parent's roof, and a quarter century old, I'm not totally involved in the society yet. I'm covered, protected and hence, have that perfect idea of how i want my life to be. but yet, everything went wrong when i come back home.
Forgive others as God forgives you. No, i can't see that. People hold grudges.
Love is patient. No, love is selfish.
On one hand, i'm giving up on the values that i thought i'm going to live on. But on the other hand, I wanted to make a difference. to live a different life, from what the adults has showed. I know no one is perfect, but we do live towards perfection, to be better each day.
I still don't believe and never want to live the life like them, to hold grudges, doesn't want to let go, to live each day taking for granted the person sleeping next to you, or even person in the same house under the same roof, or life that you're investing. I don't want to bring on the excess baggage each day as I get older each year.
Life is too short to hold grudges on people. But too bad, not many people appreciate this.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I forgot
I miss being happy.
Do whatever I want.
Be however I want.
Don't need to according to situation and man's face expression.
Don't need to think and rethink of what to say and how to say all the time.
Don't need to keep begging people to get things done.
Don't need to do things that is not even my problem at first.
I really miss, being happy.
Do whatever I want.
Be however I want.
Don't need to according to situation and man's face expression.
Don't need to think and rethink of what to say and how to say all the time.
Don't need to keep begging people to get things done.
Don't need to do things that is not even my problem at first.
I really miss, being happy.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sad
I still think that it's a sad tree now.
Monday, June 16, 2008
I'm home
I came home, With a reluctant heart. I know, this time it's not gonna be easy for me. tonnes of work waiting for me, heavy burden waiting to change shoulder. When the plane touches the airport, i still wish that the plane take a U-Turn and fly me back to KL. I know, this not gonna be easy.
As i came home, i was given a to do list. Virtual list. List that i cannot imagine how long. After the hard work of studying for 5 months non-stop, i just hope that i have my life back. Not that i don't want to have a life, but, do i have the choice now? As night comes, I stay up trying not to sleep, fear of the next day, and when i wake up the next day, i try to sleep back, for trying to run away with all the responsibilities that were thrown to me. But well, at least, i still can hear loved ones calling/sms-ing and say hi and ask me how am I, which i look forward all the time, to ease that stress.
I'm so glad i took 2 weeks off after the exam before coming back home. I really miss the time there. I really miss it.
At Redang
At Kenyih Lake (don go there!!). Lousy place nothing to see. the room was great. BIG toilet.
Service was bad. slow as snail. Good companion, great time.
As i came home, i was given a to do list. Virtual list. List that i cannot imagine how long. After the hard work of studying for 5 months non-stop, i just hope that i have my life back. Not that i don't want to have a life, but, do i have the choice now? As night comes, I stay up trying not to sleep, fear of the next day, and when i wake up the next day, i try to sleep back, for trying to run away with all the responsibilities that were thrown to me. But well, at least, i still can hear loved ones calling/sms-ing and say hi and ask me how am I, which i look forward all the time, to ease that stress.
I'm so glad i took 2 weeks off after the exam before coming back home. I really miss the time there. I really miss it.
At Redang
At Kenyih Lake (don go there!!). Lousy place nothing to see. the room was great. BIG toilet.
Service was bad. slow as snail. Good companion, great time.
Monday, May 12, 2008
2 days
I know i am siao cha boh. Was advised by mr lil lecturer to read International Trade for Commercial Law. So, i came back home, printed the notes out and pass midnight just now then only i start reading. I've never read this topic before, I've never attended class on this before, in fact, this subject i self-study. so, tell me if i'm crazy. but i've done my memorising for this subject, so, just add one in case.
well, all i need is to pray right. God will bless me. Just that, to be on the safe side, i better add one more topic in my hand, then will be more confident. what kind of bullet attack me also i can counterfeit back. Amen yea! haha....
K, i better go sleep. Nights everyone!
well, all i need is to pray right. God will bless me. Just that, to be on the safe side, i better add one more topic in my hand, then will be more confident. what kind of bullet attack me also i can counterfeit back. Amen yea! haha....
K, i better go sleep. Nights everyone!
Friday, May 09, 2008
5 Days to Exam
hmm.... in the midst of lil break before continue working. Yes, it's 5 days to my exam. Doing good so far, memorising cases and pumping in as much as i can. Just a bit weird as i don't feel the exam stress. maybe i've studying consistently. Just memorising, I used up 2 days to memorise one chapter. How slow!
Anyway, some of the friends going to finish their exam in an hour time, some just finished one paper, and some like me, haven't start exam yet. Can't wait!! in the midst of preparing for exam, we're planning for holidays!! hahahhaa.... can't wait.. can't wait!!
K.... gottta continue eat my notes!
To those sitting for exam, All the best!!
Oh, ignore the names bottom. those are jurists names which i need to memorise. >.< Notice there were 2 Johns. If onlynthe others name John as well, hahaha...
Anyway, some of the friends going to finish their exam in an hour time, some just finished one paper, and some like me, haven't start exam yet. Can't wait!! in the midst of preparing for exam, we're planning for holidays!! hahahhaa.... can't wait.. can't wait!!
K.... gottta continue eat my notes!
To those sitting for exam, All the best!!
Oh, ignore the names bottom. those are jurists names which i need to memorise. >.< Notice there were 2 Johns. If onlynthe others name John as well, hahaha...
Saturday, May 03, 2008
03.05.08 - Part II
It's Saturday again. Today was a not-so-good day but still glad and rejoice. It's always that on saturday that I'm quite down in the mood. Most probably because i've been attending church service alone, for the past few weeks. If I see any familiar faces, i'll sit next to them. If not, i'll sit by myself. But today, I next to an uncle who doesn't pay attention during praise and worship. Hmm. The projector was "attacked" a few times and the computer went blue screen and the uncle "eh, physical memory....". K, he was singing while looking around, which annoyed me. And on my right side, an auntie who kept shaking her the whole time. She shaked every few minutes,shaked until the body shakes and i can feel the vibration, and it made me dizzy.
I can't help but to think, why am i alone again. Really, no one will know if i don't attend church. I can't help to think back what I've gotten for the past 8 years here in I know i've been missing in action for the past 3 years. Not sure whether i was too busy with my work that i've forgotten about investing in people, therefore i'm quite alone. No, i'm not being self-sympathy. But that's quite sad, and i can't help but crying during the praise and worship. with all the noise of the drum and the electric guitar, it just sanked in and i just stood there trying to sing along. But it was good, just being me and me.
It's been a while, and i'm now feeling the exchaustion. I can't wait to go back home, and to be myself. Just tired leaving up to expectation of people, trying to be the person that others want me to be. And all the disappointment that i get, making me tired. I know, it's my life huh. But we're in a community connected so much to each other that we couldn't really do what we wanted to do.
So, i went pasar malam just now. Pasar malam has been great for the past few weeks. the only place that i go to walk around and relax. can't wait for exam to be over. i'll buy all the food that i want to eat and walk as long as i want.
ciao. back to studies.
take care people!!
I can't help but to think, why am i alone again. Really, no one will know if i don't attend church. I can't help to think back what I've gotten for the past 8 years here in I know i've been missing in action for the past 3 years. Not sure whether i was too busy with my work that i've forgotten about investing in people, therefore i'm quite alone. No, i'm not being self-sympathy. But that's quite sad, and i can't help but crying during the praise and worship. with all the noise of the drum and the electric guitar, it just sanked in and i just stood there trying to sing along. But it was good, just being me and me.
It's been a while, and i'm now feeling the exchaustion. I can't wait to go back home, and to be myself. Just tired leaving up to expectation of people, trying to be the person that others want me to be. And all the disappointment that i get, making me tired. I know, it's my life huh. But we're in a community connected so much to each other that we couldn't really do what we wanted to do.
So, i went pasar malam just now. Pasar malam has been great for the past few weeks. the only place that i go to walk around and relax. can't wait for exam to be over. i'll buy all the food that i want to eat and walk as long as i want.
ciao. back to studies.
take care people!!
03.05.08
10 days to exam, and i'm still working on it. Doing the 2nd round revision, which re-check the notes i've done and write (read: copy) some essays. But well, though it seems almost done, like 85% done, but there's always a fear that the materials that i've prepared is not enough. Ahh well, what is not enough, what can you write in 45 minutes per question, nothing much. Anyways.....
Saw this when i throw the bottles of chicken essence that i drank. don't know how many are they here, but i know i've thrown a lot. average 2 per bottle per day, it didn't make me sleep less. I still sleep at least 8 hours per day. oh, last night was 10 hours. ya ya, i know i'm a pig. ty say, maybe my body is immune to chicken essence. Oh, there was one night i drank
vitamin C booster before i sleep, and that night i slept 12 hours. So, not Vitamin C before sleep.
Alright, i better go sleep now. Gambate people!! You have my support, you have my prayer, you have my love, you have my blessings, and God is with you!
God bless, have a productive weekend!!
Saw this when i throw the bottles of chicken essence that i drank. don't know how many are they here, but i know i've thrown a lot. average 2 per bottle per day, it didn't make me sleep less. I still sleep at least 8 hours per day. oh, last night was 10 hours. ya ya, i know i'm a pig. ty say, maybe my body is immune to chicken essence. Oh, there was one night i drank
vitamin C booster before i sleep, and that night i slept 12 hours. So, not Vitamin C before sleep.
Alright, i better go sleep now. Gambate people!! You have my support, you have my prayer, you have my love, you have my blessings, and God is with you!
God bless, have a productive weekend!!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
20.04.08
Today i went to class an hour earlier, which is NOT me. am known for not being punctual, what more being early. Haha. Class was postponed to an hour later, which non of the classmates thought of telling me. And a few of them told me the same excuse after i asked them one by one, why they didn't tell me. "i'm just helping you to be early. See... you're early today!!". grrr.. even mr lecturer said the same thing. -__-'''
Still, in the midst of preparing for exam, and troubles never respect people. While trying to concentrate on studies and chasing after time to meet the target of the day, well,
a lot of things delay us. Troubles. For those that is willing to hold the burden alone trying not to interupt my attention, i appreciate all the love. But troubles doesn't recognise status and condition. they are not exceptional and like the summer in Malaysia, it's a whole year season.
if only people learn to forgive and forget, if only people learn to love self-lessly and not selfishly, if only peope learn to give and to hope, if only people learn to look at the bigger picture (general satisfaction) rather than the small small picture (own satisfaction).
I heard from the radio,
A teacher draw a dot on the white board and ask her students what can they see. unisonly they shouted "A DOT!!!". the teacher asked again, is that all you can see? A dot, they replied.
often our eyes, focus on the little dot and can't take our view out of that dot. is that all you can see? a dot, which equivalently a mistake. often in relationships, people remembers the mistake that u made, the things that the other person doesn't like, the expectation that wasn't fulfilled, the things that hurt you and others. all this, sum it all, can make a big thing. but looking at the other way, they forgot how people has given out to love them, the sacrifice that they made, the effort that they invested in the relationship to own that place in your heart and to continue to hold on to that position. well, no one is perfect. no one is good enough to say, i've never done anything wrong to you before.
My mom likes to nag at me. she can nag nag nag and naaaaag all the time. who likes to be nagged??!
not me!
but, in times when i need support, especially in the midst of exam, her nagging becomes my encouragement,
becomes a support for me to walk extra miles, and a way of loving me.
a lot of times, we stand strong in a view and complains about things that is incomplete, or rather, things that is not according to our way. My mom's nag is really terrible. But, if you think in another perspective, hey, sometimes my mom's nagging makes sense. she loves me, that's why she gives advice, in a nagging manner.
a lot of times, we ask, what do you have to offer me. but a lot of times, we forgot that our blessings are thousandfold, that we forgot, we can actually bless others and offer to other people.
well, i'm lucky enough not to have relationships that is close enough to have relationship problems. i'm not avoiding it, it was a choice, after all.
but among all, if only people learn to be meek and not ego. Ego can be a wall, that stop u from blessings that u can't imagine off.
k... i shall stop now. too much i dunno what is it. must be the jurisprudence class that makes me think of nonsense.
what am i talking? nonsense lorr.........
a lot of things delay us. Troubles. For those that is willing to hold the burden alone trying not to interupt my attention, i appreciate all the love. But troubles doesn't recognise status and condition. they are not exceptional and like the summer in Malaysia, it's a whole year season.
if only people learn to forgive and forget, if only people learn to love self-lessly and not selfishly, if only peope learn to give and to hope, if only people learn to look at the bigger picture (general satisfaction) rather than the small small picture (own satisfaction).
I heard from the radio,
A teacher draw a dot on the white board and ask her students what can they see. unisonly they shouted "A DOT!!!". the teacher asked again, is that all you can see? A dot, they replied.
often our eyes, focus on the little dot and can't take our view out of that dot. is that all you can see? a dot, which equivalently a mistake. often in relationships, people remembers the mistake that u made, the things that the other person doesn't like, the expectation that wasn't fulfilled, the things that hurt you and others. all this, sum it all, can make a big thing. but looking at the other way, they forgot how people has given out to love them, the sacrifice that they made, the effort that they invested in the relationship to own that place in your heart and to continue to hold on to that position. well, no one is perfect. no one is good enough to say, i've never done anything wrong to you before.
My mom likes to nag at me. she can nag nag nag and naaaaag all the time. who likes to be nagged??!
not me!
but, in times when i need support, especially in the midst of exam, her nagging becomes my encouragement,
becomes a support for me to walk extra miles, and a way of loving me.
a lot of times, we stand strong in a view and complains about things that is incomplete, or rather, things that is not according to our way. My mom's nag is really terrible. But, if you think in another perspective, hey, sometimes my mom's nagging makes sense. she loves me, that's why she gives advice, in a nagging manner.
a lot of times, we ask, what do you have to offer me. but a lot of times, we forgot that our blessings are thousandfold, that we forgot, we can actually bless others and offer to other people.
well, i'm lucky enough not to have relationships that is close enough to have relationship problems. i'm not avoiding it, it was a choice, after all.
but among all, if only people learn to be meek and not ego. Ego can be a wall, that stop u from blessings that u can't imagine off.
k... i shall stop now. too much i dunno what is it. must be the jurisprudence class that makes me think of nonsense.
what am i talking? nonsense lorr.........
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Believe
I remember last year when I just started doing revision for my referred paper, it was a struggle to me. Wanting to study and absorb everything that i read but at the same time, my heart keep blaming the subject which made me stay in KL for my year 3. I thought i'm going to fly off in september last year, but i didn't get to. all because of a silly mistake.
I remember during that period I was struggling, i texted my big sista, asking for strength and prayers. says her, know that what the devil meant for evil, God meant for good ya.
I went through it, and of course, i passed the paper.
And now, I'm preparing for my final year exam. Struggling of course, but always, God is good. No one understands what we're going through except for people that is going through it together with me. only in them i find strength and courage, and of course with prayers, i survive till today. until this point, if i don't help myself, no one can. if i choose not to continue on and just stop, no one can help me. It's me who decide, whether to continue or to stop.
Till now, whenever there is bad thoughts, i keep telling myself, knowing that God meant for good, devil meant for evil. I keep telling myself to focus, focus on what is more important now, which is the exam. there's no way of turning back, it's just cms close, to success. like what i told sy, our leg is up already, waiting to jump over to success.
no point turning back, no point going through the emo. right now, just have to pick and choose the emotions that is good, to be in the best condition to survive till the exam. Filtering i suppose, to hear what can build you up, and not things that can tear you down. saying is easy, i'm still trying too, till today, to focus. i couldn't agree more with what ty said, all the things that is not important, take it as an entertainment for break inbetween studies. haha.
i didn't meet my target today. been slack, been playing today. but well, no point turning back and whine about it. as long as i continue moving... though a bit. but as long as i didn't stop. yea? haha
I remember during that period I was struggling, i texted my big sista, asking for strength and prayers. says her, know that what the devil meant for evil, God meant for good ya.
I went through it, and of course, i passed the paper.
And now, I'm preparing for my final year exam. Struggling of course, but always, God is good. No one understands what we're going through except for people that is going through it together with me. only in them i find strength and courage, and of course with prayers, i survive till today. until this point, if i don't help myself, no one can. if i choose not to continue on and just stop, no one can help me. It's me who decide, whether to continue or to stop.
Till now, whenever there is bad thoughts, i keep telling myself, knowing that God meant for good, devil meant for evil. I keep telling myself to focus, focus on what is more important now, which is the exam. there's no way of turning back, it's just cms close, to success. like what i told sy, our leg is up already, waiting to jump over to success.
no point turning back, no point going through the emo. right now, just have to pick and choose the emotions that is good, to be in the best condition to survive till the exam. Filtering i suppose, to hear what can build you up, and not things that can tear you down. saying is easy, i'm still trying too, till today, to focus. i couldn't agree more with what ty said, all the things that is not important, take it as an entertainment for break inbetween studies. haha.
i didn't meet my target today. been slack, been playing today. but well, no point turning back and whine about it. as long as i continue moving... though a bit. but as long as i didn't stop. yea? haha
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
So can you, if only you choose to believe!
So can you, if only you choose to believe!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Amazing Grace
It's interesting to know, bits and bits of us, we a product of things that happened to us, especially things that left a big scar, or left a big memories in us, or things that were so important to us that is not a constant reminder to us to not to walk back to the same road that led us to pain and so to say, suffering before.
If we think carefully, the way we talk, the way we react to things, the way we deal with things, somehow, some, reflect or the consequences, or the results as to those memories that were placed in the bad memory store room in our heart. Memories, good or bad, somehow, made who we are today.
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
Of course, the good ones, we keep. But the bad ones, those that left us "empty" months, those that made us cry every time someone close give us that look, those memories after months still fresh in our mind, the grudges especially, bad relationships and fights, left quite a significant mark, depends on the depth of those marks, depends on how serious was it, depending on how hurt we were.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
And because of all that happened, you told yourself, constantly, i will not this and i will not that. But after being soaked into the matter for so long, so much that we thought we're so hurt that we kept telling ourself, it's okay, let the time heal everything. We were overwhelmed by all the things that had happened, that whenever people share their experiences, we think that, oh well, you're not in my shoe, you'll never understand.
Somehow, part of me, who I am today, is what I've told myself, after the hurts and the bad memories, be it things that happened to me, or things that happened around me. And, it's holding me back, to things beyond my thinking, beyond what I have now.
My Chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God My Saviour,
has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace.
Today, in the church. Ps Andy did the prayer for closing after the worship. I was touched by what he asked. "Do you have anything that hold you back? The Chain that is holding you back?"
2 weeks after Easter, normally, weeks after Easter then only I really realise what Easter is all about. Every year of Easter, I receive different kind of blessings. And this year, i know, my chains are gone. set free by Christ dying on the cross for our sins.
Is there anything holding you back? let it resurrect together with Jesus Christ! Amen!
(just try to understand what i say. i type out whatever is in mind. in the midst of exam and believe that, i need to share this. God bless! Have a blessed weekend!)
(song by Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone))
If we think carefully, the way we talk, the way we react to things, the way we deal with things, somehow, some, reflect or the consequences, or the results as to those memories that were placed in the bad memory store room in our heart. Memories, good or bad, somehow, made who we are today.
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
Of course, the good ones, we keep. But the bad ones, those that left us "empty" months, those that made us cry every time someone close give us that look, those memories after months still fresh in our mind, the grudges especially, bad relationships and fights, left quite a significant mark, depends on the depth of those marks, depends on how serious was it, depending on how hurt we were.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
And because of all that happened, you told yourself, constantly, i will not this and i will not that. But after being soaked into the matter for so long, so much that we thought we're so hurt that we kept telling ourself, it's okay, let the time heal everything. We were overwhelmed by all the things that had happened, that whenever people share their experiences, we think that, oh well, you're not in my shoe, you'll never understand.
Somehow, part of me, who I am today, is what I've told myself, after the hurts and the bad memories, be it things that happened to me, or things that happened around me. And, it's holding me back, to things beyond my thinking, beyond what I have now.
My Chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God My Saviour,
has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace.
Today, in the church. Ps Andy did the prayer for closing after the worship. I was touched by what he asked. "Do you have anything that hold you back? The Chain that is holding you back?"
2 weeks after Easter, normally, weeks after Easter then only I really realise what Easter is all about. Every year of Easter, I receive different kind of blessings. And this year, i know, my chains are gone. set free by Christ dying on the cross for our sins.
Is there anything holding you back? let it resurrect together with Jesus Christ! Amen!
(just try to understand what i say. i type out whatever is in mind. in the midst of exam and believe that, i need to share this. God bless! Have a blessed weekend!)
(song by Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone))
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
08.04.08
Just made some changes to the blog. got bored with the previous colour. And the head of the blog, drew it using Paint program in the windows. just for temporary, till i finish my exam.
I'm feeling much better now, after all the tears and prayers and supports, I'm much stronger. Hmm, other than squeezing fats out of us in preparation for exam, other than the sweat and toil, we also lost buckets of tears. At the end of the exam, everyone will come out like zombie, didn't sleep well, didn't rest well, didn't eat well. haha.
2 months more before freedom. Can't wait! But at the same time, hope that time past slowly, because graduation. haha. finally.
May my desire, be His will. Amen!
God bless!
Big eh... it's Tiger Prawn. Yummy.
Had this in future-sis-in-law's house.
The tiger prawn, of course from Sabah.... hahaha.....
thanks to my dad!
I'm feeling much better now, after all the tears and prayers and supports, I'm much stronger. Hmm, other than squeezing fats out of us in preparation for exam, other than the sweat and toil, we also lost buckets of tears. At the end of the exam, everyone will come out like zombie, didn't sleep well, didn't rest well, didn't eat well. haha.
2 months more before freedom. Can't wait! But at the same time, hope that time past slowly, because graduation. haha. finally.
May my desire, be His will. Amen!
God bless!
Big eh... it's Tiger Prawn. Yummy.
Had this in future-sis-in-law's house.
The tiger prawn, of course from Sabah.... hahaha.....
thanks to my dad!
Friday, April 04, 2008
04.04.08
I'm still in the midst of preparing for exam. While battling with books, I'm also fighting against bad thoughts in the head. Not many people is being supportive, sometimes, people just utter words without realising that they actually tear people down. So, other than trying to understand the notes that i'm reading, i'm trying hard too, to fight against the evil thoughts.
Knowing that God meant for good and devil meant for evil, I shall keep the faith in Him.
Today, I've bought about RM100 worth of supplements, just to maintain myself in the best condition. To those who are studying for exam, do take care of your health. Rest appropriately!
Till then, God Bless!
Had birthday celebration last Wednesday. more than 20 of us were there.
Happy Burfday Celeste! Forever 21... kahkahkah.....
Knowing that God meant for good and devil meant for evil, I shall keep the faith in Him.
Today, I've bought about RM100 worth of supplements, just to maintain myself in the best condition. To those who are studying for exam, do take care of your health. Rest appropriately!
Till then, God Bless!
Had birthday celebration last Wednesday. more than 20 of us were there.
Happy Burfday Celeste! Forever 21... kahkahkah.....
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