Celebrate Us

I know we're in the midst of preparation for exam, but, other than covering ourselves with books and munching notes, we saved some time out for the boys. yeah, Anson's and Sam's birthday!!

it was fun. karaoke, food and cakes. Best thing was, everyone sang songs together, though all in different tune and the people without mic seemed to sing louder than the mic. well, we had fun. I had a great time!

L-Anson, tracy and Darren. R-Audrey and Sam... pretending...

back to camwhore

one family

Sam... 21st

Anson.. make a wish

life is full of choices, to decide for yourself what you really want. not all choices are good or works for us, but when you have made one, that is the best choice for you and you do nothing but make sure you reach your destination.

Not all road is straight, smooth and clear and not all journey of life is easy. But it makes us stronger, in facing circumstances each day, knowing that we have friends that support us when we stop by the road side or when our tyre puncture.

When you almost give up, when you think that you're already burned out and wanting to make a U-turn, that's when you have to tell yourself, "don't stop, never give up!!".

happy birthday Anson!!

Untitled XIII

It's Saturday again. Another weekend planned with books and books.

Past one week was, kinda productive. Managed to keep up with my own study plan. Not progressing fast, but at least, it's moving.

Yesterday I had 3 lunches in 3 hours time. Got up early at 7am, yeng and I attended court case for a friend, to hear the ruling of a case, in Shah Alam High Court. Was there at 9am waiting. Managed to go cafeteria to have a quick breakfast. Then came back to the court and waited again. After an hour and a half, the clerk says, judge in chamber. Urggh. As I have to explain to my friend, the judge was lazy to come out to the open court and lawyers have to go in one by one when it's their turn. So, we went back in disappointment.

That is what young lawyers going to do in the early years of working as a lawyer. wait and wait and wait outside the court. in the end, wasted half of the day when u can do so many things there. Well, the only thing that is beneficial is you can extend your network of friend outside the court while waiting.


***

It's about a month and a week countdown to exam now. Not in stress, enjoying the studies. Anyway, better get back to work now. Have a good week ahead!

Fade Away

Suddenly it seems that it's gone.

What did I do?

Sparring seeds among the rocks instead of soil.
And as things revealed one by one, by itself,
it seems like me building a foundation on the sand instead of on the rock.

Do you call it bad investment?

No! It's heart of the man that is hard to grasp but God's heart are the one we have to pursue, for He never fail us.

I guess, different perception and intention does make a big different, rather than pursuing things for yourself.
Investing life for Eternal one seems more beneficial in terms of heavenly treasure, rather than investing for the sake of ourselves, to feed the greed and desperation of human.

Easter Sunday

It was a great sunday yesterday, celebrating the Easter, and celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I woke up as early as 8am in the morning, getting excited to go church, but I'm still late for the 10am service. Had breakfast with brother and siew yeng, which i don't normally do in KL. Late to church, and got grumpy a bit before service. But, once arrived, i told myself not to focus on the morning grumpy but to focus on God, celebration of Easter.

The service was great, the play was fantastic... although half of the time i didn't get what narrator was saying, oh the sermon was sooooo GOOD. received a lot, laughed a lot and enjoyed a lot. So blessed!

After service, we went to One Utama for lunch. Had thai food, which i didn't really enjoyed cause i can't take spicy food. After food, we went stroll around in CD shop, then to electronic shops, gift shops, computer shop then decided to go back home. While walking towards the Old Wing of the shopping complex, suddenly bro said, need to get notepad. So, we walked to MPH, and on the way bought ice cream from baskin robbin. Walked there, and then back again to Old Wing, then realised..... I lost my wallet!!!

In shocked, we walked back towards the New Wing, to report to the security guard at Information Counter. While walking, I kept praying. Pray and pray and Pray. Bumped to old friends at the information counter, I then made a report while bro talked to friends. The lady at the information counter was nice, gave me the number of the banks and called to cancel off my ATM cards. While calling, since all the banks using hotline operator, I told yeng, I get to buy new wallet! haha. After everything was settled, we talked a while with friends and then walked back to the parking lot. Without thinking of how foolish I was, and without brother lecturing me, we just wondered how that thief can get the wallet out of my pouch bag. Stil praying, while heading to the carpark, i was singing "Lord I lift Your name on high", jumping in between yeng and bro. When we almost reached the car park, the security guard called and said "we've found your wallet!". I was like.... shouted "PRAISE THE LORD". I jump and sing, rejoice for His faithfulness. So happy! you say it's by coincidence but i say, it's God. Thou all the cash was taken including the folded of 100 dollar note and 1 dollar note, I still give thanks, singing "Lord I lift Your name on high!!!". To God be all Glory!

The security guard said, someone found it in the CD shop, so, be careful when you stroll around in shopping malls. And yeah, Remember God in everything you do and He will give you success!!

God Bless you, have a blessed week ahead!

Happy Easter

At the Cross

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

by Darlene Zschech, Reuben Morgan

Break Time

It was Jacky's birthday last week. We had BBQ, time to chill, time for break, time to catch up, time to invest in friendship, time to laugh and time to cam-whore, as usual. Food was nice, and people was great. I had a GREAT time!

The food was awesome.
But well, the companions took me away from the food.


Not everyone's here. Some busy watching over the food, some not here yet.


Busy there, and i'm busy here taking pictures. hihi...


Smiles


"eh, you don't push me ahh....hihihihi"


Caught in Action, trying to steal food. haha.
Guys help with the food while the girls.... you know, help with eating them up. haha.


Me... yeng... and tracy......


The birthday boy and girlfriend.


Giraffe Cynthia and Hippo Tracy


Chun Chiqs.....

Enjoy!

God bless you!

Untitled XII

People, has been coming in and out of my life.

They come, and they left again. Feeling so stucked, I move on, i have to.

And i'm still here wondering.

I can't say that I didn't appreciate people as much i can, but, if only, there's more time for us. It's always, that you learn to know the existence of it after you lose it. But now, before it slips away, I hope, I can make full use of the time, to the max.

It sounded like I don't appreciate, but I really do.

We met out of nowhere, out of that thousands of people out there, but yet, can't tell or even describe the significance of knowing you. We didn't appreciate much, we didn't make an effort as much as we can.

"Your heart is not a hotel, that people can walk in and out just like that, quote sy. I believe, every person that you met, where life path crossed and you walk a bit of your life journey together, left a bit or significant footstep in your life. Doesn't matter whether it's good or bad, doesn't matter whether the experience is worth remembering, or some that you tried so hard just to forget about it, doesn't matter whether the journey you had together is short or long, they all play a part in your life, in building who you are today.

There's always people that you miss so much, but couldn't even hold them.
there's people that you love so much, but you can't tell them how much they meant to you.
there's people that you wished for a second chance, but you can only make prayers of blessing from far.
there's people that you've lost, then only learn to appreciate.

Everyone is a rare jewel. You just need sometime to polish it, so that they shine for you.

Listen

Lately, I found myself being suffocated easily. Trying to grasp some air in the midst the ocean of people. Was it because I don’t know how to release stress or things seems to be on top of me. I just know, I kept excusing myself from people, taking that few minutes walk to toilet, just to breath some air.

The heart of the human is like a deep ocean, with secrets unfolds and treasures unrevealed. All I can say. If only the idea of give and take is practiced, as no one can come clean with relationships between human, whether a human to another, or with a group of people. Controversial after controversial, adding to what was told and what you’ve heard, doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not, and adding onto your own assumption and thinking towards certain issues and decision without making a balance out of it, make it all, a misunderstanding. Whether to cover up the wrongs that were done, or to cover up a hidden agenda, no one can be totally transparent and accountable to what is their intention. Tired. If only we learn to give and take. No one can say, to be total, 100% correct. Where things are not about life or death, rules and moral obligation are all made up by human. We make the rules, we change the rules, and we break the rules. No such thing as who is right or who is wrong. If only we learn to come clear with it. Things sometimes doesn’t seems as easy as it seems, or as hard as people thought.

If only I’m bold enough to voice out. To show that I care. To prove that I appreciate.

(don't digest this literally. just me being grumpy today.)

CNY 2007

It's been a while since the last time I blog. Due to dunno-what-i've-been-doing, I'm pretty occupied here.

The 15 days chinese new year celebration was just over. And now, after a week break, trying to settle down with classes and revision. My parents came over to KL to celebrate chinese new year, so other than people that i see in the shopping mall and some of my dear friends, I didn't get to visit relatives and friends, like what we should do during chinese new year. And, what's so sad is, I didn't get to watch lion dance live performance as near as 2 metre away (saw one when I was in One U, while I was up at 2nd floor and lion dance performed in the ground floor. and watched another one through someone's digital camera, recorded). So, throughout the break, during the daytime, I accompanied family to shopping malls. And at night, I sneak out with lil bro, together with Yeng, watch movie, went bowling, table soccer and pool. We went to amusement centre the other night, and lil bro and yeng were really good in daytona. And one of the night, I went out with Yeng and Addy to the pub that I've always wanted to go with Addy. Had just a glass of wine and head went pain. yeah, that week of break left me sick and throat seems still not feeling well till now.

On the 15th day, I invited a few close friends to have a reunion dinner at my place. Had my parents packed seafood from Sabah, I cooked all of them that night. Well, not a very good cook me, overall, the dinner was great, with great companion. The fish was too big, that we have to cut into 2, and had it in and out of the pot as we thought it's already cooked. Cooked outside but not the inside. The prawn, marinated ones were finger lickin good. The only complaint was the asparagus was bitter and the scallops, weren't fresh.

So, I can cook. haha.

Untitled XI

It's always been this opening sentence... It has been a dramatic week....

It was a dramatic week. Though just attending lectures and church in the weekend, more than that happened. I only can say, human always appear tough but deep inside, weak. It's tired trying to appear tough sometimes, and should u let your guard down, you're just as weak as a baby. It's okay to be not okay, Milia said.

Went to church as usual, which as good today. Then went to The Curve, had lunch and then walk around the flee market. Tried to get a ear phone as my ear phone already spoiled. So, had it actually on the counter of the Sony Style waiting to pay, but the waiting makes me impatience. So, I left without buying it. *hmmpf*

This week i've watched 3 movies with Yeng. 1st one was okay. 2nd one we didn't finish watching as Yeng had problem with her contact lens. 3rd one.. haha.... i enjoyed the music, but i think, half of the time we were talking and kicking the seat in front/looking around/ticking yeng and etc etc. It's a nobody-talks-and-only-music-and-dancing movie. Companion makes a big difference.

Next week, or coming week is Chinese New Year. I'm not going back to hometown as my whole family is coming over. So, for those who is staying in KL for the celebration, if you're in KL town, can give me a call and drop by at the hotel, mom and dad will give you angpao, don't worry. haha.

have a great weekend ahead!

Paint the Year

(I know this happened some 2 weeks ago, but due to the lazyness in editing pictures, it took me quite sometime to sit still and edit the pictures.)

The college zone of the church had Mural Painting Project, "Paint the Year Together". And my cell was one of the first to paint it when the whole piece of paper is still blank. We had a 'kandang' of our own, since we're called Fellowsheep. So, everyone had their skills showed off there, in trying to paint our own sheep there with our name.

Me, as usual, have to have to have to put my mark there, showed off my painting skills too. I know it's blue, and it's small. I'm just trying to make it simple and nice. Using my fingers to stamp the body of the sheep and the head, i drew leg and the neck. Later then, I drew another one and had Yeng to write her name. Yeah, the 'SY' is too big. That's her art... don't laugh!



Someone spoilt the painting inside our 'kandang', and then later Jon tried to cover it up with turning it into an orange colour sheep. Well, it doesn't look like a sheep, more like an orange bloated sheep. And it's called, Jon the orange.



As for Charlene, nicely we asked and asked, at last, she joined us in painting her sheep there. After drawing out the body of the sheep....

Char, Oh no, there's no place for me to draw the leg....
Celeste, Never mind lah, you try to squeeze it down there and
draw the head there (while pointing here and there)
Me, or you can draw the leg all up there, as if it is lying down....
Ya ya ya, like lying down on green pastures....


So, she had the sheep's leg all up as if it's lying.. on green pastures.... Psalm 23.

So, this... our master piece.

I had fun!

Someone

Lately I had not been sleeping very well. Not that I'm too tired or stress over studies, but just couldn't sleep well. It's already a month after the new year, but yet i couldn't see any changes/progress in life but still carrying the same burden, the same problem. No one seems to understand, not even me know it myself thoroughly. I wonder why.

I can't say every decision that i made is correct, nor I can say, every steps that I made, I made with no regrets. With the same situation given at the 2nd chance, I'm not sure whether i can do better, or I'll lead to the same way. The thing is, I've been carrying it alone, all by myself.

It's no easy being someone much more mature, someone under the spotlight. Someone that people look up to, someone that people see/analysis every action and word of mine. I would rather be the person behind the stage, walking not under the limelight and yet still equivalently important. Is this possible?

If you ask me to differentiate between black and white, I really don't know what's the criteria or requirement making it black or white. Things can never be purely black or purely white, and human can never distinguish strictly the colour of it, as individual human as different interpretation.

As for me, I'm not sure why, but I just know, I am afraid of disappointment and getting hurt. The thing about taking the heart out and treating people sincerely, sometimes everyone appreciates them, sometimes it's not appreciated. And the thing about doing good deed for others, sometimes people doesn't even know you're being nice to that person, or even protected that person once as an angel. Famous quote of all season, to give and take and when the right hand do good deed, don't let the left hand know about it.

My firewall is getting higher and higher, my guard is increasing from time to time. To prevent people from getting in, and to prevent people from hurting me. I am constructing, a world of my own again.

Can someone crush my wall down though u know you'll get hurt in process?

Untitled X

I said a little prayer the other day. In frustration, I pray. People once say, the distance between God and us is between our kneel and the floor. Well, i was driving at the time. Tired with everything that happened, tired with the battle of person. And, tired of myself being tired. I wonder, where is that love that I have so much, that I pour on others. Where is that forgiveness and to forget that I always have. Used to be an optimistic me, now, always turn to the negative side when giving comments. yes, i hate myself being like this. I don't want to be the person who doesn't walk my talk. I hate hypocrytes, and therefore, i don't want myself becoming one. But, i felt so restless.

While bible says, lean not against your understanding but His, i tend to take control on my own. taking decisions and interpret things base on my own way. Actually, not sure why people tend to take control so much, on their own. After all, whatever that you've done, whether it matters or not, whether it's important or not, it doesn't matter anymore. taking revenge for example, after the effort and planning in taking revenge just like how we used to see in movies, after all the revenge, it seems meaningless. Well, I'm not planning a revenge. just an example. Like one of our previous chief minister once said, Heaven have eyes. So, i shall enjoy my everyday life without have to worry. hmm, saying it is easier than doing it.

on the other hand, brother just went back to hometown this morning, after a few days stay here. Was great having him around, having both of us together again. We're so close together, that people used to think that we're twins. But well, now, some people said that i look older. Okay, i shall take that as i look more mature than him.

So ah.... what's next? Going for badminton tomorrow. Progressively making it an weekly activity, which this week is the 2nd week we have badminton. Great. I shall be fit and strong, physically. haha.

It's weekend again, hopefully get to catch up with some studies, which it always fail. I've checked the movie showing in the cinema, none that i wanted to watch. So, i guess that can make me stay at home. Haha.

have a great day tomorrow, and a blessed weekend!

Update IX

The worst feeling...
you're standing in front of that person,
so close that you feel the heat of the body
but yet... can't tell him,
how much you miss him,
how much u care
and how much you love him.
You only manage to smile,
as thou, you're at the peak of losing him.

When is this... going to end.

One week

Today is the 3rd Sunday I'm back in KL. What i've been doing? What I'm up? I know i blog less now and it seems that i'm busy. Yupp, been busy. That's a world-wide used excuse, been busy.

Last Sunday, I went for steamboat with Tracy, Darren and Siew Yeng. The food was great, and the companion was great as well. I always say, no matter how nice is the food, if the companion is not good, it will overall make the night dull. That's why people hate to go dinners, especially when it's your auntie's dunno whose son/daugher got married and you attend the dinner on behalf of your parents, later on after the dinner sure will go for supper, as you didn't have a good meal, though the food is good.

WE had quite a lot of food. Big prawns and shells, which look like the logo of the Shell petrol station. So, if you guys want to go for steamboat, i shall recommend this one. Restaurant 20, situated at Sunway, next to Dominos. I went there twice already, and will go again next time.




Later, on Thursday, 4 of us went for badminton in the morning before class. It was fun, sweating and all. And also fun, looking at people running around chasing after the shuttle cock. I'm not good in it too, did some running as well. It was fun, but till the next day, except for darren who plays a lot, the others complain about muscle pain and butt or thigh pain. Haha. So, next week... swimming?


Yesterday Yeng and me attended the first Youth Service at Church.
It's combined service consist of Secondary Zone, College Zone and Young Adults. It's basically, without the older people. Haha. It was fun. And I didn't know, Juwita Suwito was there. it was the 2nd time i met her. Don't think she remembers me, but i told her we met at one of the Christmas function back in KK. Her album is great, so, go look for it at Canaanland.

Today i slept the whole day. Afternoon had late lunch at MacD. then Yeng and I decided to watch movie. COnfession of Pain. Though late for about 20 minutes, but still manage to be there before the show started (cut of the advertisement).

So, what am I going to do next week? Don't know. I Shall see.

Yesterday and Today

Few nights back....

It was an ordinary night, back at home, surf the net and chat as usual, while trying to do my notes. With the speaker loudly showing off it's potential sound, I was filling up the application form for examinations. And there I go, thinking... and.. became emo....

It has been a great a year and a half, studying law. Great friends, great companion that i get to know, great life, great college life and all. And, soon it's coming to an end. With the bunch of friends leaving next semester to UK, the external programme students are left here to complete the 3 years course here. Yeah, people is leaving again, from my life. Sad.

I'm blessed enough, to have a Uni life for more than 4 years. As I know, after i graduated from the previous degree, I will still be in college phase. But now, next year, I'll soon enter the world of working. Just know that life is not going to be the same as now greatly put fear in me. Especially that with the group of friends (read: supporter) behind my back, not sure where's everyone heading after we graduate. But that's not the point, that's too far away to think of and worry about.

This is going to be the final semester with the twinning programme group of friends, and I'm praying that time don't fly so fast. How pathetic life is, how unreasonable human being, when we have it in our hand, we don't appreciate it. But when it's almost slipping away, then you realise how great is it having it in your hand. I've always been appreciative, I've always been counting my blessing, but, it's not enough. Not feeling contended, in a way, hoping to have more time together.

If only we become less calculative, less digesting, less of expectation and less of judging. We will live life to the fullest. All the best to all my dear friends, in the new year, in the new semester, in the final year being together (hopefully not, as there's still masters programme to do... hehhehe...).

Emo is over =)

1.26am

After a week

I'm back in KL, after a great holiday back at home. With the weddings that i attended and Christmas dinners as well as lots of meals at the restaurants with family and friends, I've gained 2 KG, just in 3 weeks time. But still, I'm still beyond the average level of BMI, due to my height. I still can gain more... hehehe....

In a week, I'm up to...
1. catching up with the gang
2. the water tap at the kitchen broke on the day that i came back.
3. ate 'luk-luk' (steamie) at the pasar malam (night market).
4. bang by a motorcycle while car is not moving.
5. borrowed 5 books from library (haven't start reading any yet)

my life is dramatic, or colourful i can say.

So, with the battle of the book and as expected, battle of human, I'm still coping up. Trying to adjust with the life here, including the traffic here, the amount of people around me, the study stress that I'm getting and the people that i'm meeting, as compare to the life that i have back in hometown, it's just totally different. Thou I'm only away for 3 weeks, but still need time to adjust to the faster pace of life back in KL.

And, my dear Mr Lecturer bugged me to attend class seriously and start revision, so, here I am, being kiasu, borrowed books for photocopy and start hunting for reference books and statute book. Well, it's still time for catching up, hopefully, will start serious study next week. haha!

As for the new year, I haven't think of any new year resolution. Maybe....

1. be not a procrastinator,
2. be more punctual,
3. be more of domineering values and less of compliance,
4. score well in Year 2 of LLB
5. Deeper in Faith
6. Deeper bonding with family

Someone said, a good new year resolution is make no resolution at all. Something like that. Well, for past few years, I did my new year resolution and have a check by the middle of the year to see how am i progressing. It's just something that i want to achieve, hopefully, to set a target and improve myself. Maybe you can do it also.

Have a good weekend :)

Finding Purpose

The blog has turned into not-so personal blog but repeatedly reporting about activities that happened around me lately. Especially with the Christmas season which is just over, it gives me inspiration to blog about happenings and blocked the philosophy side of me. Yeah, the blog has became a more general blog. From a blog of wanting to tell others my experience, it became sort of a blog of want others want to listen/know.

I think, the way of writing changes as my personality changes, from an influencer to a persuader. With a strong Steadiness and Domineering to a Influence and Compliance person. total 100% change. (It's not a, not-another-personality test. Many companies use this test when they employ future employees. Should take a look)

Now, that i don't know the purpose of writing, I might as well, update it once in a while, or just tear the whole blog down.

So much of ME, will make u bored.
So much of YOU, will put me into trouble.
So much of others, well, i dunno so much about other other ppl.

(dun worry, not talking about anyone. it's just me and my personality test.)

Hello 2007

The New Year

The new year hasn't sink in yet and still thinking of the date 2006. Just came back from retreat yesterday, with muscle cramps and bruises as souvenir, not forgetting memories of fighting to win.. my team won of course, as well as bonding and getting to know new friends. We had countdown in welcoming the new 2007, while having barbeuque at the park of the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. Of course, we're not on top of the mountain, just somewhere 6 hours of climb before the peak. There's loads of food to gril and barbeque, while cramping together to get body heat from each other as it's cold up there. Overall, it was fun.

So, it's 2nd of January. While lots of people back to work, or some still working throughout the public holiday, i slept through the whole day. And with the internet connection back to normal, thou not so normal as usual, business back to normal, congesting the internet line trying to get their business done and people like me, trying to get into the online chat, but not sure whether it's the congestion or the internet connection is not back to normal yet, i still can't get into my mailbox. Since i can't access to flickr, so, i can't upload at pictures of the retreat.

Christmas 2006

The celebration was awesome, left me exhausted and skipped dinner, dropped on the couch to sleep on Christmas day. Been busy. Since back for 2 weeks, I've received pressies for birthday and christmas. For those who still 'keeping' my pressie with them, do give it to me. I really really believe in 12 days of Christmas. haha! But please, no undergarments. I've received 2 already. Thanks!

Weddings again

Attended 3 wedding dinners. Had lots of aunties asking when's my turn. That's a normal question asked when your peers getting married. Well, it's not a sad thing but still, have an excuse to enjoy my singlehood. Met lots of relatives and cousins, it became a small reunion for my family. And the toast, LOTS of toasts, made me drunk and left me had diarhhea the next day. Well, being a good girl, that next day's wedding dinner, i just had tea! haha.

So, while flickr can't be accessed at the moment, just bear with the post without photos!

Blessed New Year

Happy Blessed New Year!

May Peace and Joy be with you and family,
good health in you and family,
showers of blessings be upon you,
spreading love through you to people around you.

May the new year be another great year,
prosperous in friendship and relationships,
productive in work and studies,
greater bond with family,
more achievement in life.

And as for me,
I wish for achievement in studies,
More of treasures of friendship,
Good Health, less stress.
Another good year.
Most of all, glory His name in everything.

God Bless you Readers!