3 Days

Countdown, less than 3 days to my first paper.

Having a break now.

Not really enjoy memorising, just can't wait for exam to over.

Well, all the best people!

Untitled XIV

Troubled. Heart pumping so fast. Concentration Gone. Adding all equals too stress.

Man just can't run away from problems and everyday we face challenges.

Why, we asked.

life is about choices and every decision is in our hand, but why is the heart doesn't want to cooperate with the brain?

Exam is coming, and I'm running as fast as i can to meet the target of the day. Well, often, the plan fails and day by day, I'll say, I'll get it done by tomm.. and everyday i say the same thing.

I'm still a human, with feelings. can't run away from problems, can't run away from other matters that i need to face.

I can only pray hard. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.

You ask me, does it work?

Why not you try?

***

My papers...
31st May - EU Law - 2pm
4th June - Tort Law - 9pm
8th June - Land Law - 9pm
11th June - Law of Trust - 9pm

if you happen to think of me on mentioned date, please say a lil pray for me.

(having a break now... still can post.. meaning.. i'm still fine.. hahaha.... )

I Pray

a lot of times, in many occasions, sad or happy, we seek people, whether to share the sadness or double the happiness.

and in some of the times, people does not understand the disappointment that we are going through, the challenges that we're facing and the crucial moment of that point of time that is waiting for us. people may not understand too, the satisfaction that we have after fulfilling something, or the moment of gladness, or the joy that is brought from strangers to you that no one can understand.

when no one can understand, when no one seems to fit in the situation that can fit well in your shoe and feel for you, when no one can say a word of comfort that really ease that pain or word of encouragement that can lift you up, the only person that can help yourself, is you. whether you choose to sit longer after a fall, or continue to run, it's your choice.

in times of struggle, when you build your foundation so firm, or you thought you have a foundation firm, just one word of discouragement from others may break you up. in times of trying hard to stand up and not to allow myself to fall, just one word from others may tend to break u down.

I can only pray, and seek strength from Almighty One, for not by my strength but His. not by my might, but His.

And I pray, may you draw strength from Him, for He, loves you the most!

Much Contended

I had been thinking, and in fear as i wait...

At my age, there is people that earned their first One Million dollar.
There is also people that already got married and have kids.
There is also people, started their career and climbing the corporate ladder.

And those that is younger than me, not even received their golden key towards freedom yet, but fly even more higher than me, further than me, having more freedom than me.

Now i'm not complaining....

Last December, i was back at home during the break. After a wedding dinner of a close friend, a group of us went to yumcha together. nice cool place to hang out, and the group that I'm with, was my lil brother's peers. *grin*. And, dad called 3 times just to findout-makesure-askmetocomebackhomefast. It was 10 minutes gap in between the calls and 2 of the friends actually shouted over the phone "don't worry lah uncle... she's fine....". -_-'''

If you know me well, i have curfew too. 12.30am for festive season. 11pm for normal days.

I am really not complaining.

I know I'm very much a spoilt girl of the family.

I'm very much contended with what I have now....

I am just.......... afraid that my dad calls. Cause that stupid school sent warning letter to my dad. I didn't attend any revision class conducted by the school.

%*#**&*#*$*&^#*$&*#&

Pray that my dad don't scold me.......

It's Me

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Hey you

Sometimes life is just like driving through the straight highway, we didn’t take time to drive slowly and watch the scenery around, rather, drive through it fast, hoping that we arrive the destination faster, just like fulfilling our dream to come true, but we forgotten, the things that we’ve neglected.

It’s been a month plus I’m in battle with the books. After the honeymoon last semester, I started get serious with studies and coping up with whatever that I’ve left last semester. How much I’ve covered now, how much more left to cover? I really don’t know. I just know, I’ve neglected lots of people around me.

-In the library this morning-

How are you?

I wanted to ask.

It’s always the universal answer that seems to slip in as excuse for the responsibility that has been neglected, for omissions and duty to care that is not fulfilled. And sometimes we take it for granted, thinking, people will understand, I was busy.

-M&Ms.... a must to burn midnight oil every night-

It’s been a while.

Today, after a month plus hiding at home, we had a group discussion for the first time I think, every since this semester starts. Everyone’s been up to different subjects and topics and we didn’t discuss much in the end. I didn’t do much as well, was busy catching up and keep in touch with friends. Talking from how have you been lately and what you’ve been up to, to hot news in the college and to family related busy body news.

-the breakfast today, with Anson, Tracy and yeng-

I miss you much.

Everyone is talking about plans after exam. Parties definitely part of it, holiday plans, working plans and etc. Some looks forward to the holidays. Some looks forward to the coming semester in UK. But well, whatever plan there is in mind, what I really feeling is, the semester is coming to an end and after the exam, whoever that is staying, staying. Whoever that is leaving to UK, leaving.

-newly bought headset, without the bear of course. both are yeng's-

Phone calls are within reach, messages are just within seconds. But…

And me, is leaving too. Praise the Lord, I’ve received conditional offer to one of the good Uni in UK. Though the condition is a bit higher than the other offers given to me, but it stretches me to move a bit forward, forcing myself to dump in more effort, moving me to the higher level, set me to a higher target. Pray that I pass with flying colours.

Hope you’re good.

It was a long day, after the study group and dinner at Auntie’s place, now I’m back home lazying. Watched the Malaysian singing competition just now with Auntie’s family and I actually sent my votes 3 times. Man, I didn’t even vote for election just few years back when I just turned the right age to vote. Yeah, I voted because that guy in the finalist is from Sabah. Hehe.

Got to go now. Tired.

God bless you, Have a Blessed Sunday!

Impossible

Man says impossible, but God says thru Him, everything is possible.

In times of trial, where you strength, mind, heart and spirit is trying to expand beyond its capacity, hold your faith upon Him and draw strength from Him.

In times of battling with studies, I remember, to thank Him for all He have done.

May you be strong, reaching the impossible, for sky is the limit and He's always there for you.

God bless!

Celebrate Us

I know we're in the midst of preparation for exam, but, other than covering ourselves with books and munching notes, we saved some time out for the boys. yeah, Anson's and Sam's birthday!!

it was fun. karaoke, food and cakes. Best thing was, everyone sang songs together, though all in different tune and the people without mic seemed to sing louder than the mic. well, we had fun. I had a great time!

L-Anson, tracy and Darren. R-Audrey and Sam... pretending...

back to camwhore

one family

Sam... 21st

Anson.. make a wish

life is full of choices, to decide for yourself what you really want. not all choices are good or works for us, but when you have made one, that is the best choice for you and you do nothing but make sure you reach your destination.

Not all road is straight, smooth and clear and not all journey of life is easy. But it makes us stronger, in facing circumstances each day, knowing that we have friends that support us when we stop by the road side or when our tyre puncture.

When you almost give up, when you think that you're already burned out and wanting to make a U-turn, that's when you have to tell yourself, "don't stop, never give up!!".

happy birthday Anson!!

Untitled XIII

It's Saturday again. Another weekend planned with books and books.

Past one week was, kinda productive. Managed to keep up with my own study plan. Not progressing fast, but at least, it's moving.

Yesterday I had 3 lunches in 3 hours time. Got up early at 7am, yeng and I attended court case for a friend, to hear the ruling of a case, in Shah Alam High Court. Was there at 9am waiting. Managed to go cafeteria to have a quick breakfast. Then came back to the court and waited again. After an hour and a half, the clerk says, judge in chamber. Urggh. As I have to explain to my friend, the judge was lazy to come out to the open court and lawyers have to go in one by one when it's their turn. So, we went back in disappointment.

That is what young lawyers going to do in the early years of working as a lawyer. wait and wait and wait outside the court. in the end, wasted half of the day when u can do so many things there. Well, the only thing that is beneficial is you can extend your network of friend outside the court while waiting.


***

It's about a month and a week countdown to exam now. Not in stress, enjoying the studies. Anyway, better get back to work now. Have a good week ahead!

Fade Away

Suddenly it seems that it's gone.

What did I do?

Sparring seeds among the rocks instead of soil.
And as things revealed one by one, by itself,
it seems like me building a foundation on the sand instead of on the rock.

Do you call it bad investment?

No! It's heart of the man that is hard to grasp but God's heart are the one we have to pursue, for He never fail us.

I guess, different perception and intention does make a big different, rather than pursuing things for yourself.
Investing life for Eternal one seems more beneficial in terms of heavenly treasure, rather than investing for the sake of ourselves, to feed the greed and desperation of human.

Easter Sunday

It was a great sunday yesterday, celebrating the Easter, and celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I woke up as early as 8am in the morning, getting excited to go church, but I'm still late for the 10am service. Had breakfast with brother and siew yeng, which i don't normally do in KL. Late to church, and got grumpy a bit before service. But, once arrived, i told myself not to focus on the morning grumpy but to focus on God, celebration of Easter.

The service was great, the play was fantastic... although half of the time i didn't get what narrator was saying, oh the sermon was sooooo GOOD. received a lot, laughed a lot and enjoyed a lot. So blessed!

After service, we went to One Utama for lunch. Had thai food, which i didn't really enjoyed cause i can't take spicy food. After food, we went stroll around in CD shop, then to electronic shops, gift shops, computer shop then decided to go back home. While walking towards the Old Wing of the shopping complex, suddenly bro said, need to get notepad. So, we walked to MPH, and on the way bought ice cream from baskin robbin. Walked there, and then back again to Old Wing, then realised..... I lost my wallet!!!

In shocked, we walked back towards the New Wing, to report to the security guard at Information Counter. While walking, I kept praying. Pray and pray and Pray. Bumped to old friends at the information counter, I then made a report while bro talked to friends. The lady at the information counter was nice, gave me the number of the banks and called to cancel off my ATM cards. While calling, since all the banks using hotline operator, I told yeng, I get to buy new wallet! haha. After everything was settled, we talked a while with friends and then walked back to the parking lot. Without thinking of how foolish I was, and without brother lecturing me, we just wondered how that thief can get the wallet out of my pouch bag. Stil praying, while heading to the carpark, i was singing "Lord I lift Your name on high", jumping in between yeng and bro. When we almost reached the car park, the security guard called and said "we've found your wallet!". I was like.... shouted "PRAISE THE LORD". I jump and sing, rejoice for His faithfulness. So happy! you say it's by coincidence but i say, it's God. Thou all the cash was taken including the folded of 100 dollar note and 1 dollar note, I still give thanks, singing "Lord I lift Your name on high!!!". To God be all Glory!

The security guard said, someone found it in the CD shop, so, be careful when you stroll around in shopping malls. And yeah, Remember God in everything you do and He will give you success!!

God Bless you, have a blessed week ahead!

Happy Easter

At the Cross

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

by Darlene Zschech, Reuben Morgan

Break Time

It was Jacky's birthday last week. We had BBQ, time to chill, time for break, time to catch up, time to invest in friendship, time to laugh and time to cam-whore, as usual. Food was nice, and people was great. I had a GREAT time!

The food was awesome.
But well, the companions took me away from the food.


Not everyone's here. Some busy watching over the food, some not here yet.


Busy there, and i'm busy here taking pictures. hihi...


Smiles


"eh, you don't push me ahh....hihihihi"


Caught in Action, trying to steal food. haha.
Guys help with the food while the girls.... you know, help with eating them up. haha.


Me... yeng... and tracy......


The birthday boy and girlfriend.


Giraffe Cynthia and Hippo Tracy


Chun Chiqs.....

Enjoy!

God bless you!

Untitled XII

People, has been coming in and out of my life.

They come, and they left again. Feeling so stucked, I move on, i have to.

And i'm still here wondering.

I can't say that I didn't appreciate people as much i can, but, if only, there's more time for us. It's always, that you learn to know the existence of it after you lose it. But now, before it slips away, I hope, I can make full use of the time, to the max.

It sounded like I don't appreciate, but I really do.

We met out of nowhere, out of that thousands of people out there, but yet, can't tell or even describe the significance of knowing you. We didn't appreciate much, we didn't make an effort as much as we can.

"Your heart is not a hotel, that people can walk in and out just like that, quote sy. I believe, every person that you met, where life path crossed and you walk a bit of your life journey together, left a bit or significant footstep in your life. Doesn't matter whether it's good or bad, doesn't matter whether the experience is worth remembering, or some that you tried so hard just to forget about it, doesn't matter whether the journey you had together is short or long, they all play a part in your life, in building who you are today.

There's always people that you miss so much, but couldn't even hold them.
there's people that you love so much, but you can't tell them how much they meant to you.
there's people that you wished for a second chance, but you can only make prayers of blessing from far.
there's people that you've lost, then only learn to appreciate.

Everyone is a rare jewel. You just need sometime to polish it, so that they shine for you.

Listen

Lately, I found myself being suffocated easily. Trying to grasp some air in the midst the ocean of people. Was it because I don’t know how to release stress or things seems to be on top of me. I just know, I kept excusing myself from people, taking that few minutes walk to toilet, just to breath some air.

The heart of the human is like a deep ocean, with secrets unfolds and treasures unrevealed. All I can say. If only the idea of give and take is practiced, as no one can come clean with relationships between human, whether a human to another, or with a group of people. Controversial after controversial, adding to what was told and what you’ve heard, doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not, and adding onto your own assumption and thinking towards certain issues and decision without making a balance out of it, make it all, a misunderstanding. Whether to cover up the wrongs that were done, or to cover up a hidden agenda, no one can be totally transparent and accountable to what is their intention. Tired. If only we learn to give and take. No one can say, to be total, 100% correct. Where things are not about life or death, rules and moral obligation are all made up by human. We make the rules, we change the rules, and we break the rules. No such thing as who is right or who is wrong. If only we learn to come clear with it. Things sometimes doesn’t seems as easy as it seems, or as hard as people thought.

If only I’m bold enough to voice out. To show that I care. To prove that I appreciate.

(don't digest this literally. just me being grumpy today.)

CNY 2007

It's been a while since the last time I blog. Due to dunno-what-i've-been-doing, I'm pretty occupied here.

The 15 days chinese new year celebration was just over. And now, after a week break, trying to settle down with classes and revision. My parents came over to KL to celebrate chinese new year, so other than people that i see in the shopping mall and some of my dear friends, I didn't get to visit relatives and friends, like what we should do during chinese new year. And, what's so sad is, I didn't get to watch lion dance live performance as near as 2 metre away (saw one when I was in One U, while I was up at 2nd floor and lion dance performed in the ground floor. and watched another one through someone's digital camera, recorded). So, throughout the break, during the daytime, I accompanied family to shopping malls. And at night, I sneak out with lil bro, together with Yeng, watch movie, went bowling, table soccer and pool. We went to amusement centre the other night, and lil bro and yeng were really good in daytona. And one of the night, I went out with Yeng and Addy to the pub that I've always wanted to go with Addy. Had just a glass of wine and head went pain. yeah, that week of break left me sick and throat seems still not feeling well till now.

On the 15th day, I invited a few close friends to have a reunion dinner at my place. Had my parents packed seafood from Sabah, I cooked all of them that night. Well, not a very good cook me, overall, the dinner was great, with great companion. The fish was too big, that we have to cut into 2, and had it in and out of the pot as we thought it's already cooked. Cooked outside but not the inside. The prawn, marinated ones were finger lickin good. The only complaint was the asparagus was bitter and the scallops, weren't fresh.

So, I can cook. haha.

Untitled XI

It's always been this opening sentence... It has been a dramatic week....

It was a dramatic week. Though just attending lectures and church in the weekend, more than that happened. I only can say, human always appear tough but deep inside, weak. It's tired trying to appear tough sometimes, and should u let your guard down, you're just as weak as a baby. It's okay to be not okay, Milia said.

Went to church as usual, which as good today. Then went to The Curve, had lunch and then walk around the flee market. Tried to get a ear phone as my ear phone already spoiled. So, had it actually on the counter of the Sony Style waiting to pay, but the waiting makes me impatience. So, I left without buying it. *hmmpf*

This week i've watched 3 movies with Yeng. 1st one was okay. 2nd one we didn't finish watching as Yeng had problem with her contact lens. 3rd one.. haha.... i enjoyed the music, but i think, half of the time we were talking and kicking the seat in front/looking around/ticking yeng and etc etc. It's a nobody-talks-and-only-music-and-dancing movie. Companion makes a big difference.

Next week, or coming week is Chinese New Year. I'm not going back to hometown as my whole family is coming over. So, for those who is staying in KL for the celebration, if you're in KL town, can give me a call and drop by at the hotel, mom and dad will give you angpao, don't worry. haha.

have a great weekend ahead!

Paint the Year

(I know this happened some 2 weeks ago, but due to the lazyness in editing pictures, it took me quite sometime to sit still and edit the pictures.)

The college zone of the church had Mural Painting Project, "Paint the Year Together". And my cell was one of the first to paint it when the whole piece of paper is still blank. We had a 'kandang' of our own, since we're called Fellowsheep. So, everyone had their skills showed off there, in trying to paint our own sheep there with our name.

Me, as usual, have to have to have to put my mark there, showed off my painting skills too. I know it's blue, and it's small. I'm just trying to make it simple and nice. Using my fingers to stamp the body of the sheep and the head, i drew leg and the neck. Later then, I drew another one and had Yeng to write her name. Yeah, the 'SY' is too big. That's her art... don't laugh!



Someone spoilt the painting inside our 'kandang', and then later Jon tried to cover it up with turning it into an orange colour sheep. Well, it doesn't look like a sheep, more like an orange bloated sheep. And it's called, Jon the orange.



As for Charlene, nicely we asked and asked, at last, she joined us in painting her sheep there. After drawing out the body of the sheep....

Char, Oh no, there's no place for me to draw the leg....
Celeste, Never mind lah, you try to squeeze it down there and
draw the head there (while pointing here and there)
Me, or you can draw the leg all up there, as if it is lying down....
Ya ya ya, like lying down on green pastures....


So, she had the sheep's leg all up as if it's lying.. on green pastures.... Psalm 23.

So, this... our master piece.

I had fun!

Someone

Lately I had not been sleeping very well. Not that I'm too tired or stress over studies, but just couldn't sleep well. It's already a month after the new year, but yet i couldn't see any changes/progress in life but still carrying the same burden, the same problem. No one seems to understand, not even me know it myself thoroughly. I wonder why.

I can't say every decision that i made is correct, nor I can say, every steps that I made, I made with no regrets. With the same situation given at the 2nd chance, I'm not sure whether i can do better, or I'll lead to the same way. The thing is, I've been carrying it alone, all by myself.

It's no easy being someone much more mature, someone under the spotlight. Someone that people look up to, someone that people see/analysis every action and word of mine. I would rather be the person behind the stage, walking not under the limelight and yet still equivalently important. Is this possible?

If you ask me to differentiate between black and white, I really don't know what's the criteria or requirement making it black or white. Things can never be purely black or purely white, and human can never distinguish strictly the colour of it, as individual human as different interpretation.

As for me, I'm not sure why, but I just know, I am afraid of disappointment and getting hurt. The thing about taking the heart out and treating people sincerely, sometimes everyone appreciates them, sometimes it's not appreciated. And the thing about doing good deed for others, sometimes people doesn't even know you're being nice to that person, or even protected that person once as an angel. Famous quote of all season, to give and take and when the right hand do good deed, don't let the left hand know about it.

My firewall is getting higher and higher, my guard is increasing from time to time. To prevent people from getting in, and to prevent people from hurting me. I am constructing, a world of my own again.

Can someone crush my wall down though u know you'll get hurt in process?

Untitled X

I said a little prayer the other day. In frustration, I pray. People once say, the distance between God and us is between our kneel and the floor. Well, i was driving at the time. Tired with everything that happened, tired with the battle of person. And, tired of myself being tired. I wonder, where is that love that I have so much, that I pour on others. Where is that forgiveness and to forget that I always have. Used to be an optimistic me, now, always turn to the negative side when giving comments. yes, i hate myself being like this. I don't want to be the person who doesn't walk my talk. I hate hypocrytes, and therefore, i don't want myself becoming one. But, i felt so restless.

While bible says, lean not against your understanding but His, i tend to take control on my own. taking decisions and interpret things base on my own way. Actually, not sure why people tend to take control so much, on their own. After all, whatever that you've done, whether it matters or not, whether it's important or not, it doesn't matter anymore. taking revenge for example, after the effort and planning in taking revenge just like how we used to see in movies, after all the revenge, it seems meaningless. Well, I'm not planning a revenge. just an example. Like one of our previous chief minister once said, Heaven have eyes. So, i shall enjoy my everyday life without have to worry. hmm, saying it is easier than doing it.

on the other hand, brother just went back to hometown this morning, after a few days stay here. Was great having him around, having both of us together again. We're so close together, that people used to think that we're twins. But well, now, some people said that i look older. Okay, i shall take that as i look more mature than him.

So ah.... what's next? Going for badminton tomorrow. Progressively making it an weekly activity, which this week is the 2nd week we have badminton. Great. I shall be fit and strong, physically. haha.

It's weekend again, hopefully get to catch up with some studies, which it always fail. I've checked the movie showing in the cinema, none that i wanted to watch. So, i guess that can make me stay at home. Haha.

have a great day tomorrow, and a blessed weekend!