Stress is when the clock ticks 5pm and your finger is so tempted to press that button on the square box, while you're at your study table, trying to study.
Grrrr.........
3pm - Taiwan Drama Series
5pm - Singapore Drama Series
6pm - Taiwanese Drama Series
8.30pm - Korean Drama Series
I need someone to help me to chain my tv to the store room.
bleh.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
At The Cross
Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me
Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now
You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?(x2)
You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done
And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me
Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now
You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?(x2)
You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done
And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me
No man can find a word to describe the pain and suffering that Jesus Christ had endured at the cross, and thus excruciation was found from the latin to describe the worst state of pain. It means, At the Cross, describing the state of Pain Jesus endured at the cross, was, the worst of all.
No man also can find a word to describe the unconditional love from the Father in Heaven to us, the people and only agape love, means selfless love, can describe it.
For God so loved the world that
he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish
but have eternal life.
John 3:16
he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish
but have eternal life.
John 3:16
May Easter Day, stay in our heart everyday, reminding us His love for you, and for me. Jesus Loves You! Happy Easter!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
16.03.08
It was just a week ago that the Internet connection was in the peak during the midnight and houses was still light up watching the tv with the mobile phone company earlier informed that there would be no report delivery on Saturday night. It was the election. And after a week, there is still hoo and haa all over the place, with people doesn't try help but instead creating more mess.
Last year, we celebrated Merdeka day up at Bukit Tinggi together with the college friends attending our church College Camp. On the midnight past merdeka day, we had countdown and mini fashion show of whose attire resembled Merdeka the most. Each of us was given a small Malaysia flag and had prayers and celebration that night. Well, I wasn't so keen that night. To me, it's just another merdeka.
For past one week, I've been watching videos of leaders and election candidates speech uploaded to the internet. Frankly, if it's not for the election, I won' be so patriotic, so into the politics, the law and order of the country. I must admit that this was the 2nd time I missed the voting for the election, I didn't even register myself. That tells you how disconnected I am to the country. Though i read news everyday, but what the politician does, what's happening to the government, i don't really know, cause all i read is, the kepoh stuff that happened or happening.
Now and then, I heard lots of criticism about everything that is happening, and I myself contributed much to the negative comments on the country, but well, it makes me realise, I'm still a Malaysian. The truth that I was born here, can't be changed. the domicile of origin is acquired at your birth, cannot be abandoned and can only be held in abeyance. Thus, that makes me Anak Malaysia.
I always think, what the country can do to me. Just like a lot of people, the grass is greener over the other side. The fact that we think that the grass is greener over the other side because we see only the greener side of that place, and the fact that we say it's greener there, cause we doesn't know that place as much as we know our own place, Malaysia. No matter how terrible you think it is, it is still, your origin.
As much criticism was given post election, to anyone that is involved, we forgot the main purpose of the election. A lot of people, in support of the particular candidate/politician/representative/party that they admire/like/love/die with/etc, became self-centred and not looking at the matter. the very purpose of the election, is to elect the leaders whom we think are able to lead the country, to development and prosper. And we forgot that, the main purpose of election, is also to discard the unrighteous ones and to place the meeks, righteous ones and the peacemakers. Most importantly, God-Fear ones. A lot of people forgot that, we have to look at the matter rather than the person, dealing with the problem that we have rather than shooting the person(s).
Ask not what the country can do to you, but ask what you can do to your country. I am still very proud, being a Malaysian.
Last year, we celebrated Merdeka day up at Bukit Tinggi together with the college friends attending our church College Camp. On the midnight past merdeka day, we had countdown and mini fashion show of whose attire resembled Merdeka the most. Each of us was given a small Malaysia flag and had prayers and celebration that night. Well, I wasn't so keen that night. To me, it's just another merdeka.
For past one week, I've been watching videos of leaders and election candidates speech uploaded to the internet. Frankly, if it's not for the election, I won' be so patriotic, so into the politics, the law and order of the country. I must admit that this was the 2nd time I missed the voting for the election, I didn't even register myself. That tells you how disconnected I am to the country. Though i read news everyday, but what the politician does, what's happening to the government, i don't really know, cause all i read is, the kepoh stuff that happened or happening.
Now and then, I heard lots of criticism about everything that is happening, and I myself contributed much to the negative comments on the country, but well, it makes me realise, I'm still a Malaysian. The truth that I was born here, can't be changed. the domicile of origin is acquired at your birth, cannot be abandoned and can only be held in abeyance. Thus, that makes me Anak Malaysia.
I always think, what the country can do to me. Just like a lot of people, the grass is greener over the other side. The fact that we think that the grass is greener over the other side because we see only the greener side of that place, and the fact that we say it's greener there, cause we doesn't know that place as much as we know our own place, Malaysia. No matter how terrible you think it is, it is still, your origin.
As much criticism was given post election, to anyone that is involved, we forgot the main purpose of the election. A lot of people, in support of the particular candidate/politician/representative/party that they admire/like/love/die with/etc, became self-centred and not looking at the matter. the very purpose of the election, is to elect the leaders whom we think are able to lead the country, to development and prosper. And we forgot that, the main purpose of election, is also to discard the unrighteous ones and to place the meeks, righteous ones and the peacemakers. Most importantly, God-Fear ones. A lot of people forgot that, we have to look at the matter rather than the person, dealing with the problem that we have rather than shooting the person(s).
Ask not what the country can do to you, but ask what you can do to your country. I am still very proud, being a Malaysian.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
15.03.08
the countdown is, exactly 8 weeks to exam.
as scary as it is, i still continue on and persevere. there's so much to be afraid of i just need to remind myself, not to leave a back door. grrrr.......
i just want to update my blog.
haha!
All the best!!
as scary as it is, i still continue on and persevere. there's so much to be afraid of i just need to remind myself, not to leave a back door. grrrr.......
i just want to update my blog.
haha!
All the best!!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Year of Rata-Touile
I am procrastinating. Just last night i was so stress with studies and fear that i cannot finish my syllabus on time, and here i am, upload photos and blog.
Nothing much.... just want to share.....
Was having breakfast together with BIG family, and heard the group of lion dance people past by to the shop next door. So, I quickly ran out to join the crowd. Hehe.... I just love the noise and th crowd.
2 days ago, marked the 15th day of the first month of Chinese Lunar Calender. I went over to Sze's house to have dinner. Last year there were 6 of us, and this year left 3 of us. Ty and Sy... i know you miss us, the photo is for you both. hehe.
K.... Have a great weekend!!
Nothing much.... just want to share.....
K.... Have a great weekend!!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
21.02.08
Am taking a break from studying, just start my revision on the subject that I don't like the most, and most students find it, bored or too hard to understand, jurisprudence.
It's not really hard though, just that the words that they use, are words that we don't normally use, or words that are found only in the dustbins. Since the jurists that wrote what is law is all about were from the 17th to 19th Century, their english, though much better than Shakespeare, but still, hard to understand.
After reading repeatedly, I finally understand. But the problem is, I need to scrutinize it. Whoa, criticising the work of jurist from 18th Century, that makes me a master in law. Questions need us to give in our comments and our opinions, what do we think about it. This is my problem, i don't know how to give comment. I can't even give comments on questions such as 'what do u think about death sentence on criminal?'. to talk about just morality, i can answer that. but jurisprudence is more than just law and morality, i guess.
The education system that we have plus the background that we were from, tells it all, that why a simple question like that, we were only able to answer err yes, or no. We were not born to environment that teach us to be different and interactive, but rather into a passive way of learning system and swallow everything that the teacher says. of course, education system is changing towards i don't know what direction, but a lot of times lecturers tried to create interactive class but it didn't work.
But well, since i don't have any comment or my own opinion, i shall just take the opinion of contrasting jurists and agree with it. muahahahaha...
back to work :p
It's not really hard though, just that the words that they use, are words that we don't normally use, or words that are found only in the dustbins. Since the jurists that wrote what is law is all about were from the 17th to 19th Century, their english, though much better than Shakespeare, but still, hard to understand.
After reading repeatedly, I finally understand. But the problem is, I need to scrutinize it. Whoa, criticising the work of jurist from 18th Century, that makes me a master in law. Questions need us to give in our comments and our opinions, what do we think about it. This is my problem, i don't know how to give comment. I can't even give comments on questions such as 'what do u think about death sentence on criminal?'. to talk about just morality, i can answer that. but jurisprudence is more than just law and morality, i guess.
The education system that we have plus the background that we were from, tells it all, that why a simple question like that, we were only able to answer err yes, or no. We were not born to environment that teach us to be different and interactive, but rather into a passive way of learning system and swallow everything that the teacher says. of course, education system is changing towards i don't know what direction, but a lot of times lecturers tried to create interactive class but it didn't work.
But well, since i don't have any comment or my own opinion, i shall just take the opinion of contrasting jurists and agree with it. muahahahaha...
back to work :p
Monday, February 18, 2008
18.02.08
It's been a while....
addy says, my blog is growing cobweb...
me, i'm being generous... offer the spider a place to stay.....
a break while studying...... yeng sent me this.....
It lifted me up, renewed my strength.
Cheers! Have a good weekend!
addy says, my blog is growing cobweb...
me, i'm being generous... offer the spider a place to stay.....
a break while studying...... yeng sent me this.....
It lifted me up, renewed my strength.
Cheers! Have a good weekend!
Monday, December 31, 2007
T h a N k Y o U
It's the last day of the year now, and everyone is rushing, to end the year well, to start off the new year with excellence. Young adults' partying, parents rushing to buy school equipment, churches organising overnight prayer and thanksgiving party and me, not excluded from all this.
It's been a year of roller coaster, as i've shared with some of the cell members during the sharing time. The high and low throughout the year, brought me where i am today. After all the laughter and crying, the wondering and pondering, i finally understood why God brought me where I am today.
I thank God for family. For the support that I've never imagine.
I thank God for the group of friends that has been there for me, in times of up and down, they where there and i know, though they're far away, they're always there for me.
I thank God for my results. If it's not for one referred paper that made me stay in KL for Year 3 instead of going to UK, i wouldn't get to be there for my mom during her operation few weeks back. Brother was right, through times of trial that we get to see, what we have missed. Oh, praise the Lord, i passed my referred paper. Now, OFFICIALLY, i'm in my final year!!!
I thank God for the wonderful camp that we went. Not so much of the seminars and team building sessions that i've gained, but just sitting at the feet of Jesus, enjoying His presence through the praise and worship session restored my strength and pull me up again.
I thank God, for everything that He has done. Indeed, we never run short of His blessings. the only thing that pull us back, the only thing that hold us back, is only ourselves. whether we can reach the impossible, whether we can succeed that dream which we think we will not made it, whether we can reach the higher level, is all depending on ourselves. When the whole world turn against you and tell you, you will not make it, when no one stand besides you to hold you and support you through, it's still YOU ultimately, we make the decision, whether or not you want it.
And now, it's time to think of, what i want to achieve next year. The sky is the limit, and the only limitation, is your own desire. You sets it, whether to fly high, or not to.
Happy New Year! May God brings u to another level in life, bless you abundantly, blesses you in every where u go!
It's been a year of roller coaster, as i've shared with some of the cell members during the sharing time. The high and low throughout the year, brought me where i am today. After all the laughter and crying, the wondering and pondering, i finally understood why God brought me where I am today.
I thank God for family. For the support that I've never imagine.
I thank God for the group of friends that has been there for me, in times of up and down, they where there and i know, though they're far away, they're always there for me.
I thank God for my results. If it's not for one referred paper that made me stay in KL for Year 3 instead of going to UK, i wouldn't get to be there for my mom during her operation few weeks back. Brother was right, through times of trial that we get to see, what we have missed. Oh, praise the Lord, i passed my referred paper. Now, OFFICIALLY, i'm in my final year!!!
I thank God for the wonderful camp that we went. Not so much of the seminars and team building sessions that i've gained, but just sitting at the feet of Jesus, enjoying His presence through the praise and worship session restored my strength and pull me up again.
I thank God, for everything that He has done. Indeed, we never run short of His blessings. the only thing that pull us back, the only thing that hold us back, is only ourselves. whether we can reach the impossible, whether we can succeed that dream which we think we will not made it, whether we can reach the higher level, is all depending on ourselves. When the whole world turn against you and tell you, you will not make it, when no one stand besides you to hold you and support you through, it's still YOU ultimately, we make the decision, whether or not you want it.
And now, it's time to think of, what i want to achieve next year. The sky is the limit, and the only limitation, is your own desire. You sets it, whether to fly high, or not to.
Happy New Year! May God brings u to another level in life, bless you abundantly, blesses you in every where u go!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
05.12.07
I was digging into my hardisk, looking for my favourite show, Devil Wears Prada but nowhere to be seen. Not sure if i've deleted it, or i saved it somewhere. Just the other day i was sharing with a friend about life and work and i told her, I don't mind having a work like the girl in Prada as i like the stress of work and i enjoy it. Something which i wanted to do, before i go back home and settle down. But a lot of people doesn't agree with me, having love and work to choose, many would choose love. I don't know, as i've never been in the situation before, having to choose between love and work but one thing i can control now, is not having that love.
That friend of mine, is working as, not to say her dream work, but one of the work that she enjoys. the stress of working with people and getting things done, especially the challenges that she deals with everyday is different. Well, you know, human, behaviour changes everyday, hence given her different kind of challenges (read: trouble) almost everyday. And the sleepless nights that she couldn't even remember how long has she been staying awake, without sleeping and asked if she has been sleeping, she can't remember when did she sleep. But well, not talking about the pay, but she enjoyed her work very much. In work like this, of course you can foresee that either she doesn't have love life, or her boyfriend is very much, neglected.
I can see that I'm going into that direction, working and stress, very much an alcoholic. I just feel that I won't satisfied with what i have if i don't go out there and experience the big society before returning home. It will only take a few years, to be away from home and build my own career. But yet, i can't have the best of both world. Somehow, something needed to be sacrifice. Back to my friend, having to dump lots of time in work, she realised that, in the end of day, she doesn't have many friends around and the group of people that she used to hang out with, somehow, no longer have her in the circle. Feeling disconnected, she realised, she doesn't gain much end of the day. Well, that makes me think, is that the way i want to lead my life? But it's just for a couple of years.
Well, at least, for that friend, she still have me. You're just tired, i said. It just need someone, to say, you'll be alright, and you will have the courage and strength to walk a few more miles.
That friend of mine, is working as, not to say her dream work, but one of the work that she enjoys. the stress of working with people and getting things done, especially the challenges that she deals with everyday is different. Well, you know, human, behaviour changes everyday, hence given her different kind of challenges (read: trouble) almost everyday. And the sleepless nights that she couldn't even remember how long has she been staying awake, without sleeping and asked if she has been sleeping, she can't remember when did she sleep. But well, not talking about the pay, but she enjoyed her work very much. In work like this, of course you can foresee that either she doesn't have love life, or her boyfriend is very much, neglected.
I can see that I'm going into that direction, working and stress, very much an alcoholic. I just feel that I won't satisfied with what i have if i don't go out there and experience the big society before returning home. It will only take a few years, to be away from home and build my own career. But yet, i can't have the best of both world. Somehow, something needed to be sacrifice. Back to my friend, having to dump lots of time in work, she realised that, in the end of day, she doesn't have many friends around and the group of people that she used to hang out with, somehow, no longer have her in the circle. Feeling disconnected, she realised, she doesn't gain much end of the day. Well, that makes me think, is that the way i want to lead my life? But it's just for a couple of years.
Well, at least, for that friend, she still have me. You're just tired, i said. It just need someone, to say, you'll be alright, and you will have the courage and strength to walk a few more miles.
Although the road seems so long and you feel that you're alone,
keep walking and remember to look left and right,
for there's people, walking with you at the side of the track.
Just a lil bit more, and you'll reach your destination soon.
keep walking and remember to look left and right,
for there's people, walking with you at the side of the track.
Just a lil bit more, and you'll reach your destination soon.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Stucked
Just another incident that i want to jot down, that after the end of the day, i still feel a lil bit disappointed.
Today, happily i went to attend classes. It feels like it's been a long time i didn't attend classes, morning class especially. So i entered, and morning class lecturer told me, she had a chat with my programme course leader and associate dean, that i need to pay fees for my family law class, which i just entered for the first time today. the reason being, there is another 8 classes with family law which they think it's appropriate for me to pay fees for it. But, as for jurisprudence class, they will close one eye and let me enter the class, since next week is the final week.
alright, i know it looked like my problem attending classes without paying, as if i went to college and steal chicken. Initially i wanted to take one subject only, so i asked if i can pay for one subject. The lecturer in charge says no, policy doesn't allow. I asked again, what about 2 subjects. Same reason given. Being frustrated, i asked, what about paying all four subjects, is it alright?. Excuses given, as it's near to end of semester and I wanted to attend one subject only, and the lecturer incharge said "i'll close one eye and let u in".
So, i entered jurisprudence class this afternoon. just one step into the class, the lecturer chased me away, forbid me from entereing. she was given instruction not to let me in, since i didn't pay my fees.
paiseh. i went to see lecturer in charge again.
"Oh, u need to pay for family law subject if you want to attend the classes, since there is another 8 classes of family law"
feeling disappointed, i told her i'm going back hometown next week.
"oh, if u don't pay fees, u cannot attend any of the classes".
feeling disappointed, i walked away. As a law student who knows the law, as the consumer-student, clearly knowing that there is no such policy that u can't take one subject or two. And after reading judicial review of administrative law and EU law, I was thinking, I can't even complain about the bias and ultra vires was of doing things. But what can you do about it.
Would you pay RM 1000 with a few ringgit balance for 30 hours classes? After i missed so many classes towards the end, now only i was asked to pay fees.
i don't even know why i bother to type all this out. clearly, i'm still feeling disappointed.
Today, happily i went to attend classes. It feels like it's been a long time i didn't attend classes, morning class especially. So i entered, and morning class lecturer told me, she had a chat with my programme course leader and associate dean, that i need to pay fees for my family law class, which i just entered for the first time today. the reason being, there is another 8 classes with family law which they think it's appropriate for me to pay fees for it. But, as for jurisprudence class, they will close one eye and let me enter the class, since next week is the final week.
alright, i know it looked like my problem attending classes without paying, as if i went to college and steal chicken. Initially i wanted to take one subject only, so i asked if i can pay for one subject. The lecturer in charge says no, policy doesn't allow. I asked again, what about 2 subjects. Same reason given. Being frustrated, i asked, what about paying all four subjects, is it alright?. Excuses given, as it's near to end of semester and I wanted to attend one subject only, and the lecturer incharge said "i'll close one eye and let u in".
So, i entered jurisprudence class this afternoon. just one step into the class, the lecturer chased me away, forbid me from entereing. she was given instruction not to let me in, since i didn't pay my fees.
paiseh. i went to see lecturer in charge again.
"Oh, u need to pay for family law subject if you want to attend the classes, since there is another 8 classes of family law"
feeling disappointed, i told her i'm going back hometown next week.
"oh, if u don't pay fees, u cannot attend any of the classes".
feeling disappointed, i walked away. As a law student who knows the law, as the consumer-student, clearly knowing that there is no such policy that u can't take one subject or two. And after reading judicial review of administrative law and EU law, I was thinking, I can't even complain about the bias and ultra vires was of doing things. But what can you do about it.
Would you pay RM 1000 with a few ringgit balance for 30 hours classes? After i missed so many classes towards the end, now only i was asked to pay fees.
i don't even know why i bother to type all this out. clearly, i'm still feeling disappointed.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Doh-nut
I think this is the longest time that I've dumped my blog before. Not busy, just disappeared from the blogsphere for a moment, for no reason.
Okay, went a lot of places lately. One of the highlights... highly recommended dohnut. Know why? Cause for people that can't take so much of sweet stuff like me, this one doesn't make my throat ithcy after eating it. So, worth trying. Plus, look at the queue, i sat there for 10 minutes and i saw people keep coming in. So, enjoy... the photos. haha!!
Looks yummy. over 20 varieties i think.
fresh made. quality controlled.
Like this one particularly. Looks like spiky head. hehe.
look at the queue. more happening than restaurant around it.
Okay, more to come. Enjoy. Be blessed in the coming week!
Okay, went a lot of places lately. One of the highlights... highly recommended dohnut. Know why? Cause for people that can't take so much of sweet stuff like me, this one doesn't make my throat ithcy after eating it. So, worth trying. Plus, look at the queue, i sat there for 10 minutes and i saw people keep coming in. So, enjoy... the photos. haha!!
Looks yummy. over 20 varieties i think.
fresh made. quality controlled.
Like this one particularly. Looks like spiky head. hehe.
look at the queue. more happening than restaurant around it.
Okay, more to come. Enjoy. Be blessed in the coming week!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
25.10.07
Please say a lil prayer for me, exam next week. thanks people. God bless you.
Dear heavenly Father,
I thank you for all your blessings.
Right now, I pray for Cynthia,
May You take away all that is not from You in her mind,
and place it with thoughts from You.
Knowing that the devil meant for evil and You meant for good.
I also pray, that Your peace and strength be with her.
Thank you Lord,
In Jesus Christ Name,
Amen.
Dear heavenly Father,
I thank you for all your blessings.
Right now, I pray for Cynthia,
May You take away all that is not from You in her mind,
and place it with thoughts from You.
Knowing that the devil meant for evil and You meant for good.
I also pray, that Your peace and strength be with her.
Thank you Lord,
In Jesus Christ Name,
Amen.
Monday, October 15, 2007
15.10.07
No more memories. time to wake up and continue walking. I woke up 2pm. Saw SY also wake up at the same time, but she's in UK (7am). I went to bed early, at 6am, but woke up at 8.30am as i couldn't sleep. Blame it on the coffee or the terbalik of time that my body sort of, cannot get it when am i suppose to sleep.
My revision for the resit is almost done. Last minute added one topic into the list, a topic which i never read before nor did any notes. Started from scratch, i read and do my notes. it just took me two nights and i'm almost done. Ty says I'm a clever pig. -_-
So, i almost want to go to college when i later on realised we're on Raya break now. Shall just stay at home and study. Mind you, i continue sleeping after i woke up at 2pm and it's almost 5pm now. hehe. *blush*
I shall continue studying. had my coffee next to me. not that i need it, but suddenly, i love coffee so much. just don't know why. oh, ikea changed their coffee maker as well as the coffee bean. black gold coffee. doesn't taste nice. is that the way to chaseme customer away? so that they won't sit there for long? hmm... i miss my IKEA gang. but now i found a new nest, my home. haha
Before the week comes to the end, hope that everyone work hard and be productive, in studies and work sense. God bless you, have a great week ahead!
Us, in attempt to get dark. SY didn't get burnt.
I got some, places where i didn't apply sun block properly.
Oh i miss the beach........
oh, before i forgot. Happy Birthday SY!! No more teen ya. it's TWENTY-ONE.
note: pictures were taken during last holiday, in Pulau Manukan. Didn't see much this time of the trip, as SY can't really swim. and bro and gf went paktoh. So, just swim around nearby. Stepped on the coral and hurt my own feet. Played with sea cucumber, yea, from the same family of the sea cucumber that u eat.
okay... go back to study.
My revision for the resit is almost done. Last minute added one topic into the list, a topic which i never read before nor did any notes. Started from scratch, i read and do my notes. it just took me two nights and i'm almost done. Ty says I'm a clever pig. -_-
So, i almost want to go to college when i later on realised we're on Raya break now. Shall just stay at home and study. Mind you, i continue sleeping after i woke up at 2pm and it's almost 5pm now. hehe. *blush*
I shall continue studying. had my coffee next to me. not that i need it, but suddenly, i love coffee so much. just don't know why. oh, ikea changed their coffee maker as well as the coffee bean. black gold coffee. doesn't taste nice. is that the way to chase
Before the week comes to the end, hope that everyone work hard and be productive, in studies and work sense. God bless you, have a great week ahead!
Us, in attempt to get dark. SY didn't get burnt.
I got some, places where i didn't apply sun block properly.
Oh i miss the beach........
oh, before i forgot. Happy Birthday SY!! No more teen ya. it's TWENTY-ONE.
note: pictures were taken during last holiday, in Pulau Manukan. Didn't see much this time of the trip, as SY can't really swim. and bro and gf went paktoh. So, just swim around nearby. Stepped on the coral and hurt my own feet. Played with sea cucumber, yea, from the same family of the sea cucumber that u eat.
okay... go back to study.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Memories II
It was a normal day, like any other day, of college life. I arrived at the main door of the college, looking at the familiar security guard busy guarding the safety traffic. the guards that bias with the type of car you drives were not there, the one that Yeng wanted to scold so much, the one that let the BMW waited there by the side, while me in Kembara was chased away. I wonder why. At least, I'm the one driving, and he's the one under the hot sun.
the red light went off, indicated that there's parking space available, and i drove in, to the carpark. The barrier went up after i scanned my ID card twice, as usual, and i drove in. The so-called VIP carpark was full. I used to park my car there, had the space booked for me as if. During the first semester in the college, we had classes as early as 8am and i usually arrived college at 7.15am. Had my usual shot of coffee with the free copy of The Sun, in the cafeteria of the college, which look more nicer today, after the renovation.
I glanced through the cars and plat number, while looking for empty space. Was looking for familiar car or plat numbers. Hey, that was where Sze and Chin always parked their car. But not today. And then, i drove in slowly, passed by the science lab where we had our land law class. Oh, i remembered we saw a couple standing outside, behind the class. The girl was, crying i think, and the guy was, comforting her and obviously, they were hugging. Mind my own business, i didn't look even further what they were doing there.
there i passed by the place where darren always park his car. he always get to park at the shaded place during the rainy days, and tracy would always smile happily, thinking how detailed is the boyfriend and trying to make us jealous as we have to run under the rain to our car. But, after successfully making us jealous, she would offer us umbrella, which the gangster me, usually don't want and ended up running under the rain, with my jacket of course. but today, no red car around...
I went in further, passed through the staff parking. tried to look for familiar car, yeng's car. there is empty space when i just entered the car park, but knowing that they're already in college, usually I'll go in straight, to find empty space nearer to yeng's car. i don't mind the walking, i went in before, to the furthest carpark, knowing that, there's someone walking with me. But today, only my car, only me, going to college.
After I parked my car. I walked into the college building. walked through the pavement where we always had small conversation, of where we are going later or where to eat, of what to do later or where to meet up tomorrow, of what tutorial to do or topic to study in preparation for next class, of which notes to be photocopied and which notes to bring the next day, and a lot of other things. But well, i'm walking alone today. In my own pace, in my own timing, i walked. I'm not in a hurry, I'm not meeting anyone, I'm not attending any class, and hence, resulting me trying to walk such that time past faster.
I walked up to the 1st Floor, heading to the School of Law. The smell of the stairs and corridor was very familiar, the smell of stink moulding made from dough into different kind of sculpture, a project did by the hospitality students. Some familiar faces were there in the office, the lecturers whom busy preparing lectures, notes and tutorials while administrator trying to keep the database of information up to date. Students where having meeting just outside the office along the corridor. No familiar faces, i suppose, they must be thinking I'm a new kid here. The ones that I was looking for, was not around.
I head to 2nd Floor, peeped through door and saw who was working at the front desk of computer lab. Saw a girl, busy reading her own book, and suddenly interrupted by a student. Oh, we used to hang out there, waiting for Addy to finish off her shift and go lunch together. Anson was there, all the time of her shift, after she complained about the supervisor of her. But today, it was other girl on shift. While reloading money into my student ID, i thought of the incident of me tripped by my own pants and fall at the stairs towards the computer lab. Luckily I didn't fall and roll down the stairs. But it was dramatic, with all my books flew all over the place and in this kind of situation, you hope that there's a big handsome guy there trying to hold you, but, there was a girl in front of me, helped me to gather my books and asked me whether i'm alright. it's good enough right, at least, someone helped me. Oh, i forgot about the other incident, tracy, slipped at the staircase as well. oh, please don't ask her about it. I remembered teasing her for the whole week about the incident. And there i went to the library, through the stairs, that tracy.... fall down before..
the library was cold, as usual. but it's more than that, it's cold outside and inside me, cold as well. i tried to scan for familiar faces, but non that i knew of. i went to the rack of law books, search through for books for the new subjects. Familiar books stood out among the rows of books, as if telling me, they miss me so much. those were the books that i used during the battle, my year 2 examinations. those were the days we went to the library just 30 minutes before it closes, to return, renew and borrow books. the tables that we usually sat, now, occupied by students from other programme. that was where, we had our revision together, discussion and arguments about some issues whether it's regarding law or some hot entertainment news, and where we always camwhore and over the other side of the library, in the discussion room, we had our photo session before, and the truth or dare games, where Addy took out some books full of dust for nothing and placed them back. those were the place that we had arguments, disagreement and misunderstanding but at last, we kiss and make up, together we continued on our journey, towards the goal that we're heading, LLB.
As i continue on, i know, there is no point looking back. I have memories of us, sadly, those memories i will not experience again, but rather, will accompany me, at least, until the time i graduate from this college, from LLB. The earth still spinning, and people keep on walking, and I know, i have to move on. whether i'm in the slower pace, or on the pace that i should to accommodate with pace around me, at least, I am still moving on. I dare not forget about the memories, but yet trying to control my thinking so that those memories will not overwhelm me. i told yeng, to create new memories while she's in UK and to tracy, don't be afraid to explore and see new things, but me, trying to create new memories, in the same place. I know, It will take some time, to overcome, it will take sometime to be back and get on with life. I know what i look like now, like what ms lecturer said to me today, "you look so dead, so so so so dead". I know, soaking myself in the past will not help me to be in future, and i'm trying, to get myself out of it. It's a phase that i'm going through, hopefully, i start running again soon.
To those out there, I really miss you.
the red light went off, indicated that there's parking space available, and i drove in, to the carpark. The barrier went up after i scanned my ID card twice, as usual, and i drove in. The so-called VIP carpark was full. I used to park my car there, had the space booked for me as if. During the first semester in the college, we had classes as early as 8am and i usually arrived college at 7.15am. Had my usual shot of coffee with the free copy of The Sun, in the cafeteria of the college, which look more nicer today, after the renovation.
I glanced through the cars and plat number, while looking for empty space. Was looking for familiar car or plat numbers. Hey, that was where Sze and Chin always parked their car. But not today. And then, i drove in slowly, passed by the science lab where we had our land law class. Oh, i remembered we saw a couple standing outside, behind the class. The girl was, crying i think, and the guy was, comforting her and obviously, they were hugging. Mind my own business, i didn't look even further what they were doing there.
there i passed by the place where darren always park his car. he always get to park at the shaded place during the rainy days, and tracy would always smile happily, thinking how detailed is the boyfriend and trying to make us jealous as we have to run under the rain to our car. But, after successfully making us jealous, she would offer us umbrella, which the gangster me, usually don't want and ended up running under the rain, with my jacket of course. but today, no red car around...
I went in further, passed through the staff parking. tried to look for familiar car, yeng's car. there is empty space when i just entered the car park, but knowing that they're already in college, usually I'll go in straight, to find empty space nearer to yeng's car. i don't mind the walking, i went in before, to the furthest carpark, knowing that, there's someone walking with me. But today, only my car, only me, going to college.
After I parked my car. I walked into the college building. walked through the pavement where we always had small conversation, of where we are going later or where to eat, of what to do later or where to meet up tomorrow, of what tutorial to do or topic to study in preparation for next class, of which notes to be photocopied and which notes to bring the next day, and a lot of other things. But well, i'm walking alone today. In my own pace, in my own timing, i walked. I'm not in a hurry, I'm not meeting anyone, I'm not attending any class, and hence, resulting me trying to walk such that time past faster.
I walked up to the 1st Floor, heading to the School of Law. The smell of the stairs and corridor was very familiar, the smell of stink moulding made from dough into different kind of sculpture, a project did by the hospitality students. Some familiar faces were there in the office, the lecturers whom busy preparing lectures, notes and tutorials while administrator trying to keep the database of information up to date. Students where having meeting just outside the office along the corridor. No familiar faces, i suppose, they must be thinking I'm a new kid here. The ones that I was looking for, was not around.
I head to 2nd Floor, peeped through door and saw who was working at the front desk of computer lab. Saw a girl, busy reading her own book, and suddenly interrupted by a student. Oh, we used to hang out there, waiting for Addy to finish off her shift and go lunch together. Anson was there, all the time of her shift, after she complained about the supervisor of her. But today, it was other girl on shift. While reloading money into my student ID, i thought of the incident of me tripped by my own pants and fall at the stairs towards the computer lab. Luckily I didn't fall and roll down the stairs. But it was dramatic, with all my books flew all over the place and in this kind of situation, you hope that there's a big handsome guy there trying to hold you, but, there was a girl in front of me, helped me to gather my books and asked me whether i'm alright. it's good enough right, at least, someone helped me. Oh, i forgot about the other incident, tracy, slipped at the staircase as well. oh, please don't ask her about it. I remembered teasing her for the whole week about the incident. And there i went to the library, through the stairs, that tracy.... fall down before..
the library was cold, as usual. but it's more than that, it's cold outside and inside me, cold as well. i tried to scan for familiar faces, but non that i knew of. i went to the rack of law books, search through for books for the new subjects. Familiar books stood out among the rows of books, as if telling me, they miss me so much. those were the books that i used during the battle, my year 2 examinations. those were the days we went to the library just 30 minutes before it closes, to return, renew and borrow books. the tables that we usually sat, now, occupied by students from other programme. that was where, we had our revision together, discussion and arguments about some issues whether it's regarding law or some hot entertainment news, and where we always camwhore and over the other side of the library, in the discussion room, we had our photo session before, and the truth or dare games, where Addy took out some books full of dust for nothing and placed them back. those were the place that we had arguments, disagreement and misunderstanding but at last, we kiss and make up, together we continued on our journey, towards the goal that we're heading, LLB.
As i continue on, i know, there is no point looking back. I have memories of us, sadly, those memories i will not experience again, but rather, will accompany me, at least, until the time i graduate from this college, from LLB. The earth still spinning, and people keep on walking, and I know, i have to move on. whether i'm in the slower pace, or on the pace that i should to accommodate with pace around me, at least, I am still moving on. I dare not forget about the memories, but yet trying to control my thinking so that those memories will not overwhelm me. i told yeng, to create new memories while she's in UK and to tracy, don't be afraid to explore and see new things, but me, trying to create new memories, in the same place. I know, It will take some time, to overcome, it will take sometime to be back and get on with life. I know what i look like now, like what ms lecturer said to me today, "you look so dead, so so so so dead". I know, soaking myself in the past will not help me to be in future, and i'm trying, to get myself out of it. It's a phase that i'm going through, hopefully, i start running again soon.
To those out there, I really miss you.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Memories I
I've start picking myself up. Continue up journey. Although lately i've been picking up a lot of do you remember this and do you remember that, but that doesn't mean I'm still living in the past. They are great memories that i want to remember, to keep me going. A lot of people find me weird, a lot of people find that there's something abnormal about me. But, I can say, I treasure my friends a lot, more than just friendship, more than just hi and bye friend or people that have to common interest with me. it's life that I'm investing.
WE went to an adventure park in Sabah just the other day. The trip that i went back after the church camp, and had brother and girlfriend came back from Australia and had Yeng came over from KL. Hehe. We went almost all the famous seafood restaurant. Well, not that i'm rich, but, Sabah is well-known from its seafood. hihihi.
Okay.. the trip. Mom took photograph. With the new camera. Amazing... mom has the creative art talent in her blood. That's how my brother gets it. But now me. So, she claim as well, she's good in photographing. Well, couldn't agree more. I love the pictures.
3 red quad bikes for girls, one black for guys.
I was the only one looking at the camera, while the read excited.
We rode by the beach, it was so fun.
with the wind blow and the sound of the wave.
WE went to an adventure park in Sabah just the other day. The trip that i went back after the church camp, and had brother and girlfriend came back from Australia and had Yeng came over from KL. Hehe. We went almost all the famous seafood restaurant. Well, not that i'm rich, but, Sabah is well-known from its seafood. hihihi.
Okay.. the trip. Mom took photograph. With the new camera. Amazing... mom has the creative art talent in her blood. That's how my brother gets it. But now me. So, she claim as well, she's good in photographing. Well, couldn't agree more. I love the pictures.
3 red quad bikes for girls, one black for guys.
I was the only one looking at the camera, while the read excited.
We rode by the beach, it was so fun.
with the wind blow and the sound of the wave.
(a lot more picture to come. busy now. post them later.)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
If Only
How many times as we look back, if only...
I live my life, without regrets. As much as i know, as much as i remember, i'm not regret with any incident in my life, be it good or bad.
But I have one now.
I didn't cry when i first got my result. I didn't get mad and start asking God, why is this happening to me. I continue to pray, in hoping that, there's a small door opening for me.
But now, it's all shut.
It was because of my silly mistake, that i didn't look at my timetable properly, hence landed me in where I am now. At least, blaming yourself because you're not good enough or clever enough is not as bad as blaming yourself for the careless mistake that you brought upon yourself.
After about 3 weeks, at last, i cried badly, asking for God's comfort. I felt so much alone, trying to look for a place of comfort, encouragement and love. I'm always strong and stand up high, but this time, i find no motivation for me to move on. The independent me, finally crushed down and having pieces of me all over the places.
I dare not tell my parents about it. at the age of 25, such mistake is not permitted. what more making it. I know, I'm in a position better than lots of people, but, i'm just not satisfied. And worst still, blaming myself.
Lesson to learn, please check your exam timetable.
I live my life, without regrets. As much as i know, as much as i remember, i'm not regret with any incident in my life, be it good or bad.
But I have one now.
I didn't cry when i first got my result. I didn't get mad and start asking God, why is this happening to me. I continue to pray, in hoping that, there's a small door opening for me.
But now, it's all shut.
It was because of my silly mistake, that i didn't look at my timetable properly, hence landed me in where I am now. At least, blaming yourself because you're not good enough or clever enough is not as bad as blaming yourself for the careless mistake that you brought upon yourself.
After about 3 weeks, at last, i cried badly, asking for God's comfort. I felt so much alone, trying to look for a place of comfort, encouragement and love. I'm always strong and stand up high, but this time, i find no motivation for me to move on. The independent me, finally crushed down and having pieces of me all over the places.
I dare not tell my parents about it. at the age of 25, such mistake is not permitted. what more making it. I know, I'm in a position better than lots of people, but, i'm just not satisfied. And worst still, blaming myself.
Lesson to learn, please check your exam timetable.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
New Chapter
Finally, I'm settled down and ready to face the new season again. Year 3 and also the final year of my degree. It has been 3 weeks since the last time I blogged. Lots of things happened, ups and downs, but Praise God, I'm here now.
It turned out to be alright, after i decided to stay in KL for year 3, after the appeals to several uni regarding my application to transfer was turned down. Not so sad about my result, what's sad is not being staying the same place as my fella gang, whom now already in UK. My results, including the one that i need to resit, my average is 55%. But since it's a burden to carry on one subject to final year, according to fella counsellors And since my result now in 2:2 on the way to 2:1, i decided to stay.
So, wish me luck with my final year! I know, God place me here with a greater purpose!
It turned out to be alright, after i decided to stay in KL for year 3, after the appeals to several uni regarding my application to transfer was turned down. Not so sad about my result, what's sad is not being staying the same place as my fella gang, whom now already in UK. My results, including the one that i need to resit, my average is 55%. But since it's a burden to carry on one subject to final year, according to fella counsellors And since my result now in 2:2 on the way to 2:1, i decided to stay.
So, wish me luck with my final year! I know, God place me here with a greater purpose!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Untitled XVII
A friend asked me before, in between a picture of a sun rise and i picture of a sun set, which one would i choose.
I chose sun set. According to her, sun set means, the person is pessimistic. Whereas a person has a optimistic thinking if he/she chose the picture of sun rise.
For me, sun set can be a hope for a new tomorrrow, hoping for the sun rise to come again.
***
Still in the try-not-to-be-worried mode for my result would be announced tomorrow. Hope that someone can hit me till i faint and wake up only when i can hear my own result. There is a lot of what if and I can only pray, that i learn to place everything on God's hand, for He holds tomorrow.
All the best for those that confirm going to UK and for people like me, who is still waiting, God Bless you... and Me!
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