After 3 weeks

I didn't expect this would come. All this while, I've been trying to bury it deep inside me, as deep as it could be, and trying to carry myself as good as I can, as if it doesn't affect me that much. For I know, what's best for me is to look forward and put one foot on the other and continue walking. But well, this is the part where sometimes the mind doesn't cooperate with the heart and thus, the break down.

I thought I'll be alright with it, or we force ourself to be alright, for this is the shorter way to moving on, rather than going through the process of breaking down, break into million of pieaces, soak into the sadness and then only, start picking ourselves up and slowly make a step to move on.

I started my day happily, meeting up with people for lunch and get to know new friend. I've placed extra effort in doing hair and make ups, and chose my attire that shows that what a day that I'm looking forward to enjoy. But half way, it suddenly hit me, what happened 3 weeks ago.

I'm glad, it hit me. Although i tried so hard to hold myself back and bury it back when it first hit me, but I'm glad, I dig it out all and let myself be, how my heart feels. It's okay to be not okay right, a friend always say. Probably I've look too far, probably I've think too much. But, just probably, I just need some courage to continue walking.

And at this time, I still know, who holds tomorrow. I keep praying, that dear Lord not to leave me nor forsake me, to have faith in me and give me that strength to continue walking. And i'm so much glad, for the pillar of support that I have. Thanks friend!

Next Chapter

I'm thinking for a second, whether i should disclose this here in the www. Firstly cause I didn't get to inform my close friends personally about it, and I don't like the idea of them knowing it through this blog, rather than hearing it from me personally. Not a big deal though, not like i'm getting married or something. But yea, i shall not disclose it here till further notice.

SO, my holiday is coming to and end. It's like the longest break I've ever had. more than 3 months of break and did nothing but just laze around at home. Never, rotted like this before. But at the same time, it's been a great time of rest at home, although the first few weeks of the break was a disaster to me, close to running back to my nest.

I must say, the journey of this holiday wasn't easy. There were tears, anger and misunderstanding, and also digging out the past which brings to clarification of my stand, closure of the past in order to move forward and leaving the past behind. It's a joy knowing, it doesn't affect me anymore like it used to, and knowing that I actually had moved forward without realising it myself.

Every chapter that brings sadness or discomfort in some way when u think of it, must have an end to it and closure, in order to move forward. And I'm happy, you were there to help me, and I was there to close it up, in order for u to move forward. I guess, time does help in fading everything away, be it sad or happy, but, whether there is a real closure to the chapter, depends on whether you did the right thing, and not just waiting for time to pass to fade it away.

I just want to wish you the best in your next chapter, and I know u wish the same too, to me.