After 3 weeks

I didn't expect this would come. All this while, I've been trying to bury it deep inside me, as deep as it could be, and trying to carry myself as good as I can, as if it doesn't affect me that much. For I know, what's best for me is to look forward and put one foot on the other and continue walking. But well, this is the part where sometimes the mind doesn't cooperate with the heart and thus, the break down.

I thought I'll be alright with it, or we force ourself to be alright, for this is the shorter way to moving on, rather than going through the process of breaking down, break into million of pieaces, soak into the sadness and then only, start picking ourselves up and slowly make a step to move on.

I started my day happily, meeting up with people for lunch and get to know new friend. I've placed extra effort in doing hair and make ups, and chose my attire that shows that what a day that I'm looking forward to enjoy. But half way, it suddenly hit me, what happened 3 weeks ago.

I'm glad, it hit me. Although i tried so hard to hold myself back and bury it back when it first hit me, but I'm glad, I dig it out all and let myself be, how my heart feels. It's okay to be not okay right, a friend always say. Probably I've look too far, probably I've think too much. But, just probably, I just need some courage to continue walking.

And at this time, I still know, who holds tomorrow. I keep praying, that dear Lord not to leave me nor forsake me, to have faith in me and give me that strength to continue walking. And i'm so much glad, for the pillar of support that I have. Thanks friend!