Happy Blessed New Year!
May Peace and Joy be with you and family,
good health in you and family,
showers of blessings be upon you,
spreading love through you to people around you.
May the new year be another great year,
prosperous in friendship and relationships,
productive in work and studies,
greater bond with family,
more achievement in life.
And as for me,
I wish for achievement in studies,
More of treasures of friendship,
Good Health, less stress.
Another good year.
Most of all, glory His name in everything.
God Bless you Readers!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Goodbye 2006
(as agreed, it's a sort of an obligatory post)
It has been a great year full with blessings showered upon me and family. Well, to count the blessings, really gonna be a long list.
As usual, when it's the beginning of the year, we tend to reflect and ponder, what do we want to achieve this year, what's our target and goal for this year, what we want to do to improve ourselves better that last year. And I started this year, rather, with feelings of lost. After graduated and attended my graduation ceremony, most of my peers had started work, but as for me, thou i'm much clear about what I want to do for the next 5 years, but it seems like it's still not clear yet. Everyone else is holding their own certificate, looking for a job and here I am, looking at my own certificate, seems loss. But however lost I am, I still hang in and perserve. And, I passed my Year 1 LLB. Praise God.
And part of the highlight of the year, my ex-cell leader, Milia got married. Yea, needed sometime to get used to it. Okay, not a possessive person, but rather a steady person that doesn't like changes. I used to stay over at her place in the weekends. From a girl who is comfortable enough to have herself in her own world, doesn't have a sense of belonging even to the cell that I always hang out with to a pretty babbly girl that can talk a lot, and have a confidence in herself when meeting with new people. Well, thanks to this kajie of mine, I've learnt a lot from her. Well well, thou have family already.. but still, need to take care of her little ones... like me :)
Out of the daily routine that i had other than studying and holiday break, I had a chance to do attachment in law firm. Learnt a lot, seen a lot. Was placed under lawyers who do litigation, almost everyday I exchange news and things that i learn with Addy, who did her attachment in a conveyancing firm. And just working for 2 months, I knew quite a lot of lawyers, which don't think a lot of them still remember me. And ya, added a working experience into my resume. *smile*
After requesting (read: begging) for 2 years, at last, dad had me joined a tour. Well, not so far, China. Had a great time there, thou the schedule was so pack. At night when we arrived the hotel, I just brush my teeth and wash my face. I didn't even change and straight slip into the bed, still wearing the same shirt and pants that i wore out the whole day. blek. Not sharing bed, so, no one is disgusted. hahaha.
So much about my life, so much of I've shared with others, I couldn't help but to say a thank you list to everyone that i can recall. Not gonna mention names one by one to say thank you, as we don't have to wait till thanks giving day to say thank you, or valentine's day to show our love.
As long as it last in my mind, I will always remember how you sms me during the weekends, asking me how have i been doing and telling me I'm always in your mind, though i'm going to see you in the next couple of days. Deep inside, I felt so much loved, as how detailed you are, taking care of me when I'm down with fever. And thou we don't talk when we're just 2 metres away, but I'm always touched with your sms asking how am I today. thank you.
I will always remember how the way u tease me, with sarcastic jokes and lame replies. And how you call every night during exam and being the first one to call after i finish each paper, has been a great encouragement to me. And I felt so loved, with having you to stop everything that you're doing, just to listen to whatever that is bothering me. Thank you so much, for the friendship that we have, that once my heart was so cold thinking of all the problems that is bothering me, thinking of you makes my heart warm. thank you.
I still remember, the 'how are you' that u ask each time we have a chance to talk. Nonsense or craps, happy or sad, long or short, you are there to listen. It really matters a lot, that u care to know, and things seems to cool down, just hearing u say 'how are you'. And i still remember, how you look for me at night when my phone die off and you thought something is wrong with me. With the amount of missed call, normally people will go "where have u been? Do u know i've been calling u so many times??!". But you, "are you okay? call me whenever u feel like talking, no matter how late". Through thick and thin we survive, I believe, we will be stronger. thank you.
People has been saying, only the ones the is much more experience can advice the younger ones, but not for me. I always remember, how you point at my head, telling me not to think so much. It just encourages me, not to fall but to stand stronger, as you are there, for me, even though you don't talk much. And you being sweet all the time, making me felt so much loved. And i always remember, those sms-es that we exchanged after we said goodbye. Especially the ones that i had during my long journey back home, your sms-es warmth me, reduced the scary thoughts in my head. thank you.
I also remember, how we had been, from being just friends to how we can read our minds. You always put yourself in my shoe, thinking and replies to my grumbles and dissatisfaction with the maturity that sometimes i couldn't believe it. You are there for me, giving the unbelievable advice and encouragement, when you can't even help yourself, and here you are, holding me when i almost fall. And how much you're amaze about me, I am too, amaze by you. And, because of you, I walk a step further, climb a step higher. Thank you.
Thanks much too for the prayers, the supports and encouragement. And also the ever ready inbox waiting for me to flood in whenever I need someone to pour out. I felt so loved, just you being detailed to ask, what happen to me and who bullied me when u saw me in a bad shape, or when i just have a bad hair day.
To mom and dad, sebas and jerry.
To all of you.
Thank you!
It has been a great year full with blessings showered upon me and family. Well, to count the blessings, really gonna be a long list.
As usual, when it's the beginning of the year, we tend to reflect and ponder, what do we want to achieve this year, what's our target and goal for this year, what we want to do to improve ourselves better that last year. And I started this year, rather, with feelings of lost. After graduated and attended my graduation ceremony, most of my peers had started work, but as for me, thou i'm much clear about what I want to do for the next 5 years, but it seems like it's still not clear yet. Everyone else is holding their own certificate, looking for a job and here I am, looking at my own certificate, seems loss. But however lost I am, I still hang in and perserve. And, I passed my Year 1 LLB. Praise God.
And part of the highlight of the year, my ex-cell leader, Milia got married. Yea, needed sometime to get used to it. Okay, not a possessive person, but rather a steady person that doesn't like changes. I used to stay over at her place in the weekends. From a girl who is comfortable enough to have herself in her own world, doesn't have a sense of belonging even to the cell that I always hang out with to a pretty babbly girl that can talk a lot, and have a confidence in herself when meeting with new people. Well, thanks to this kajie of mine, I've learnt a lot from her. Well well, thou have family already.. but still, need to take care of her little ones... like me :)
Out of the daily routine that i had other than studying and holiday break, I had a chance to do attachment in law firm. Learnt a lot, seen a lot. Was placed under lawyers who do litigation, almost everyday I exchange news and things that i learn with Addy, who did her attachment in a conveyancing firm. And just working for 2 months, I knew quite a lot of lawyers, which don't think a lot of them still remember me. And ya, added a working experience into my resume. *smile*
After requesting (read: begging) for 2 years, at last, dad had me joined a tour. Well, not so far, China. Had a great time there, thou the schedule was so pack. At night when we arrived the hotel, I just brush my teeth and wash my face. I didn't even change and straight slip into the bed, still wearing the same shirt and pants that i wore out the whole day. blek. Not sharing bed, so, no one is disgusted. hahaha.
So much about my life, so much of I've shared with others, I couldn't help but to say a thank you list to everyone that i can recall. Not gonna mention names one by one to say thank you, as we don't have to wait till thanks giving day to say thank you, or valentine's day to show our love.
As long as it last in my mind, I will always remember how you sms me during the weekends, asking me how have i been doing and telling me I'm always in your mind, though i'm going to see you in the next couple of days. Deep inside, I felt so much loved, as how detailed you are, taking care of me when I'm down with fever. And thou we don't talk when we're just 2 metres away, but I'm always touched with your sms asking how am I today. thank you.
I will always remember how the way u tease me, with sarcastic jokes and lame replies. And how you call every night during exam and being the first one to call after i finish each paper, has been a great encouragement to me. And I felt so loved, with having you to stop everything that you're doing, just to listen to whatever that is bothering me. Thank you so much, for the friendship that we have, that once my heart was so cold thinking of all the problems that is bothering me, thinking of you makes my heart warm. thank you.
I still remember, the 'how are you' that u ask each time we have a chance to talk. Nonsense or craps, happy or sad, long or short, you are there to listen. It really matters a lot, that u care to know, and things seems to cool down, just hearing u say 'how are you'. And i still remember, how you look for me at night when my phone die off and you thought something is wrong with me. With the amount of missed call, normally people will go "where have u been? Do u know i've been calling u so many times??!". But you, "are you okay? call me whenever u feel like talking, no matter how late". Through thick and thin we survive, I believe, we will be stronger. thank you.
People has been saying, only the ones the is much more experience can advice the younger ones, but not for me. I always remember, how you point at my head, telling me not to think so much. It just encourages me, not to fall but to stand stronger, as you are there, for me, even though you don't talk much. And you being sweet all the time, making me felt so much loved. And i always remember, those sms-es that we exchanged after we said goodbye. Especially the ones that i had during my long journey back home, your sms-es warmth me, reduced the scary thoughts in my head. thank you.
I also remember, how we had been, from being just friends to how we can read our minds. You always put yourself in my shoe, thinking and replies to my grumbles and dissatisfaction with the maturity that sometimes i couldn't believe it. You are there for me, giving the unbelievable advice and encouragement, when you can't even help yourself, and here you are, holding me when i almost fall. And how much you're amaze about me, I am too, amaze by you. And, because of you, I walk a step further, climb a step higher. Thank you.
Thanks much too for the prayers, the supports and encouragement. And also the ever ready inbox waiting for me to flood in whenever I need someone to pour out. I felt so loved, just you being detailed to ask, what happen to me and who bullied me when u saw me in a bad shape, or when i just have a bad hair day.
To mom and dad, sebas and jerry.
To all of you.
Thank you!
Friday, December 22, 2006
All this time
I knew you loved meI knew that you would find me
But I pretended not to know
It wasn't cos I was unhappy
It wasn't cos I was blind
Or could I have been when I said
I'm gonna let the wind blow
Leave the past behind
The memories will do just fine
They'll saturate in time
I'm gonna make it on my own
Make it on my own
I took the highway
Built on sand
I knew you'd be there for me
But I refused to hold your hand
The going's good all around me
But deep inside I can't find a reason to
live without you
But can I let the wind blow?
Leave the past behind?
The memories they cloud my mind
I know I crossed the line
Should I just journey on alone
I can't bear to find
The pain I caused you all this time
When I look in your eyes
I'm gonna let the wind blog
Leave the past behind
The memories will do just fine
They'll saturate in time
Don't have to make it all alone
Cos in your eyes I find
The tears that loved me all the time
You loved me all this time
Music and lyrics written by Juwita Suwito
Peace and Love
Last Monday was the first night of the Christmas Celebration organized by KK Town at Gaya Street. For 5 nights, the well-known Gaya Street is having christmas celebration including night market to for fund raising sponsored and joined by churches in KK, christmas carols and others. The opening night itself was so merry. Crowded by people at the street although it's Monday night, we managed to squeeze to the front nearer to the stage. As there were other 2 big screen projector, showing the stage live, therefore it's not so packed around the main stage. Saw VIPS, saw dancers, carols, and also, special guest, Juwita Suwito.
The Crowd
Not a good view, but i'm standing right next to the stage...
The VIPs....
Like to see the lights....
Special Guest, Juwita Suwito....
Carols in Kadazan dialect with the traditional Kadazan dance.
Along with the gongs as accompanion music..
Cherry and Me
Stalls... the monkeys up there remind me of.....*grin*
And the reindeer band reminds me of........ *wink*
food stalls...
The crowd, about 5000 at least was there....
It was quite late, and we went one round of the street. When we reach the end, the people was so crowded that we have to go back to the middle of the street to walk to the other side. Hmm.. while talking about Juwita Suwito's CD as we cannot find the booth selling her latest album, suddenly Cherry hold me back and say, that's the booth!!!
ANd guess what!! Juwita herself was sitting at the booth signing autograph for fans. SO, i quickly grab a CD and asked for signature. Humble person, she opened up the CD wrapping herself though offered help, then signed on it. And, a photo together.
Let Peace, Love, Goodwill Towards all People.
The Crowd
Not a good view, but i'm standing right next to the stage...
The VIPs....
Like to see the lights....
Special Guest, Juwita Suwito....
Carols in Kadazan dialect with the traditional Kadazan dance.
Along with the gongs as accompanion music..
Cherry and Me
Stalls... the monkeys up there remind me of.....*grin*
And the reindeer band reminds me of........ *wink*
food stalls...
The crowd, about 5000 at least was there....
It was quite late, and we went one round of the street. When we reach the end, the people was so crowded that we have to go back to the middle of the street to walk to the other side. Hmm.. while talking about Juwita Suwito's CD as we cannot find the booth selling her latest album, suddenly Cherry hold me back and say, that's the booth!!!
ANd guess what!! Juwita herself was sitting at the booth signing autograph for fans. SO, i quickly grab a CD and asked for signature. Humble person, she opened up the CD wrapping herself though offered help, then signed on it. And, a photo together.
Let Peace, Love, Goodwill Towards all People.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Xmas Tree
Okay, this year, the xmas tree in my house is not up. As there's no one around all the time and we didn't request to have the christmas carol to come to our place, then, we didn't bother to decorate the house with christmas deco. Not that we don't have the christmas spirit, but ya, just lazy.
Anyways, this photo of the xmas tree was took from KLCC... tall.....
Merry Christmas!
Anyways, this photo of the xmas tree was took from KLCC... tall.....
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Christmas Carol
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them,
"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
in the bus..
cheeze...
mom was stunt.. cause it was a pause for
female vocal during singing
and mom didn't expect it.. haha...
Oh Holy night......
We had a great time, singing from house to house. After the 2nd night, my throat became itchy. Sang too much. Well, i enjoyed myself.
"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Luke 2:8 - 14
Our church carol team
in the bus..
cheeze...
mom was stunt.. cause it was a pause for
female vocal during singing
and mom didn't expect it.. haha...
Oh Holy night......
We had a great time, singing from house to house. After the 2nd night, my throat became itchy. Sang too much. Well, i enjoyed myself.
Monday, December 18, 2006
101th
Ever since I started blogging, I took lots of pictures in any event happening around me. Well, u can say for remembrance, or u can say, so that I can blog about it with photos included. Hmm...
But well, blogging does help to brush up my photoshop skill (touch up all the wrinkles, eye bag, pimples, red-eye reduction and etc). And my writing skills maybe. I haven't found the identity of my blog yet, just blog whatever happen around, from not-so-personal to not-so-current issues.
Hmm... what am i talking about here....
Just want to mark, the 101th post of A World of My Own.
Thank you!
But well, blogging does help to brush up my photoshop skill (touch up all the wrinkles, eye bag, pimples, red-eye reduction and etc). And my writing skills maybe. I haven't found the identity of my blog yet, just blog whatever happen around, from not-so-personal to not-so-current issues.
Hmm... what am i talking about here....
Just want to mark, the 101th post of A World of My Own.
Thank you!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Sunday
Today was the first sunday since back home. And each time I come back, i look forward to go church, as it looks like reunion of big family. But i didn't know that, a lot of other church members who went outstation either to work or study, came back as well and it really look like Chinese New Year celebration that is coming, not Christmas. Haha. The ones with kids, came back with kids. The ones that went to study, came back and tell the story how's their life is. It just warm my heart, and it really felt like home. Well, for student like me, usually the question is, how's life is, continued on with, got boyfriend or not? hehe... i can only smile...
There was baptism today and 6 babies were baptised. Cute, but yea, maybe I don't look approachable to them, or I look scary to them, they don't seems to like me. Oh, except for some, i'll just catch them and swing them up and down. Some like, some doesn't. blek.
There was baptism today and 6 babies were baptised. Cute, but yea, maybe I don't look approachable to them, or I look scary to them, they don't seems to like me. Oh, except for some, i'll just catch them and swing them up and down. Some like, some doesn't. blek.
6 Years and Today
If I were to take up law course 6 years ago, I will not be the person I am today.
I thought it's already over, until I met them again today. Much speechless, I barely can smile and showed an expressionless face. Hmm.. what am I thinking. Suddenly the word forgiveness just struck me. Christianity always spread the good news of love and forgiveness. And now i look like a hypocryte. Showing love to others but at the same time holding onto this little thing that pulls me back.
But at the same time, if it's not for them, I might be an arrogant and nothing to scared-lose kind of lawyer, full with pride and speak of law as defence even in small talks or conversation.
Yes, I believe, a little bit of different experience can shape up who we are today. And, I think, instead of remembering what had happened, I can only thank them for who I am today.
I thought it's already over, until I met them again today. Much speechless, I barely can smile and showed an expressionless face. Hmm.. what am I thinking. Suddenly the word forgiveness just struck me. Christianity always spread the good news of love and forgiveness. And now i look like a hypocryte. Showing love to others but at the same time holding onto this little thing that pulls me back.
But at the same time, if it's not for them, I might be an arrogant and nothing to scared-lose kind of lawyer, full with pride and speak of law as defence even in small talks or conversation.
Yes, I believe, a little bit of different experience can shape up who we are today. And, I think, instead of remembering what had happened, I can only thank them for who I am today.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Farewell party
Last weekend, we had farewell party for Joni...
Joni will be leaving KL to further studies to Australia next February. Why are we having farewell party so early? Cause she will be going back to Sabah and fly from there to Australia. Hmmm.
1st Round - Friday Night
We had dinner at KFC, yeah, KFC. Then.. we went to hunt for gifts. See, after the dinner, everyone pick a paper with name in it, and we supposed to buy gift for that person. So, before we went to buy gifts, as usual the thick face me, went around and say "okay... i want underwear ya.... M size...". Yo, One Utama is quite big but still we can bump to each other and i go "i want g string ah... " whenever i bump to anyone of them.
So.. we meet again half an hour later....
And.. guess what I got.
A G-String from Topshop. Thanks Siew Kwan.
2nd Round of Farewell with Simply United- Saturday night
The Simply United
Posers.....
Me and Yeng
Yummy Friend Rice...
Yeng and Pei Ling
Joni
3 of us....
3rd Round of Farewell - Monday Night
The core members of the cell had dinner with her again. Just 5 of us. WE had steamboat. Too bad, I'm too hungry, till i forgot to take pictures. So.. it was LOTS of food and LOTS of laughers.
I had fun. Take care joni. God Bless!
Joni will be leaving KL to further studies to Australia next February. Why are we having farewell party so early? Cause she will be going back to Sabah and fly from there to Australia. Hmmm.
1st Round - Friday Night
We had dinner at KFC, yeah, KFC. Then.. we went to hunt for gifts. See, after the dinner, everyone pick a paper with name in it, and we supposed to buy gift for that person. So, before we went to buy gifts, as usual the thick face me, went around and say "okay... i want underwear ya.... M size...". Yo, One Utama is quite big but still we can bump to each other and i go "i want g string ah... " whenever i bump to anyone of them.
So.. we meet again half an hour later....
And.. guess what I got.
A G-String from Topshop. Thanks Siew Kwan.
2nd Round of Farewell with Simply United- Saturday night
The Simply United
Posers.....
Me and Yeng
Yummy Friend Rice...
Yeng and Pei Ling
Joni
3 of us....
3rd Round of Farewell - Monday Night
The core members of the cell had dinner with her again. Just 5 of us. WE had steamboat. Too bad, I'm too hungry, till i forgot to take pictures. So.. it was LOTS of food and LOTS of laughers.
I had fun. Take care joni. God Bless!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Not worth gambling
How many times you think that you're conscious but you are not?
How many times you regret after doing something bad out of your conscious?
How many times you scolded your buddies so much for not watching over you when you're unconscious when the fact is, you chased them away?
How many times you hoped that if only your buddies slap you hard enough to make you awake?
And how many times you uttered, if only if....
A lot of the life experience does make you a better person or mature i life, but some of the life experiences does not work in practice makes perfect. While not having some of the experience doesn't mean we doesn't have a good life or we didn't life our current chapter of life to the fullest, but not having it also makes a different in our life. And, a lot of those experiences did make us stumble and fall, and rise again but yet, we still haven't learn a lesson out of it and continue to step on it while others kept shouting 'it's a hole down right in front of you'. And a lot of times we experience something that others never had before. especially the bad ones, we learn from others experiences and catch the idea, hoping that it won't happen to us.
Does practice makes perfect, or perfectly imperfect?
It's coming soon to the end of the year, or coming to new year, and often we take this time to reflect back, what had happen for the pass one year, what did we achieve or not achieve yet. what is the beautiful experience that we had and still put a smile on our face thinking of it. when is the moment where u felt so warm and loved and when is the moment u felt so lost and nowhere to go, insecured. what mistake that we had done, that we still remember until now, hoping that we don't repeat the same thing again twice. And what regrets that we have, thinking of what causes to the regret that we have, hopefully our path in the future won't lead to the same disappointments and regrets.
It's always good to put your guard down, being meek and vunerable, not pointing to others but to ourselves, about our life and all.
It's so sick sometimes, that we have to think twice about whatever we're doing now, as whatever we do now may affect the future. that's why sometimes, people say it's so tired being an adult (read: mature), and it's better to be a kid (read: kiddish, immature, or still leaving in fantasy). my uni lecturer used to advice us, "pijak di bumi nyata". I believe, whatever we do may leave consequences in future, doesn't matter whether it's a good one or a bad one. it will somehow make a turning in our life. whether we fall or we stand stronger, it depends on whatever we do now. there's no worth gambling our time now for things that is up in the air that we believe we can have it, but the fact is, it's a fantasy. but much blessed, i have a group of people that i trust, that will pick me up when i fall, smack me hard when i 'fly' in the air, slap me when i'm 'unconscious'. I have a good company. Do you have a good company around you?
Priorities and responsiblities.
I always tell mom, giving her assurance that I can take care of myself. Mom still and always nag and nag, as if i just left home yesterday. And i always end it with, 'whatever i do, i know, i am responsible to myself and my life. So don't worry, I will take care for myself, for I have a responsible towards myself'. yeah, talking about priorities. in 5 months time, i'm having my 2nd year examination. How well did i do in my 1st year? Not so good i can say, but not that bad. But, hopefully, i pray, i can fly once again, score with flying colours. Hmm. I know what I'm doing. Do you know?
My Experiences.
I know i worth more that what i think i worth, though when u compare, a lot of other people achieved more than i do at my age. But thinking of the values and the goals that i want in my life, what i don't have as compare to you doesn't mean that i have less worth as compare to you. Never been to Italy or Germany at this age doesn't mean I didn't live my current life to the fullest and your experiences makes you worth more than me. Never been kissed doesn't mean i have less experience that you are. there's things that is worth waiting and never had it doesn't mean current chapter in life is not lived to the fullest.
I don't have anything to be proud of, nor i don't have anything that makes me think I'm much more experience than you are. I only believe in, learning together and fill in the blanks of flaws of the others.
At the mean time, i shall think of my new year resolution.
what do you want to achieve next year?
How many times you regret after doing something bad out of your conscious?
How many times you scolded your buddies so much for not watching over you when you're unconscious when the fact is, you chased them away?
How many times you hoped that if only your buddies slap you hard enough to make you awake?
And how many times you uttered, if only if....
A lot of the life experience does make you a better person or mature i life, but some of the life experiences does not work in practice makes perfect. While not having some of the experience doesn't mean we doesn't have a good life or we didn't life our current chapter of life to the fullest, but not having it also makes a different in our life. And, a lot of those experiences did make us stumble and fall, and rise again but yet, we still haven't learn a lesson out of it and continue to step on it while others kept shouting 'it's a hole down right in front of you'. And a lot of times we experience something that others never had before. especially the bad ones, we learn from others experiences and catch the idea, hoping that it won't happen to us.
Does practice makes perfect, or perfectly imperfect?
It's coming soon to the end of the year, or coming to new year, and often we take this time to reflect back, what had happen for the pass one year, what did we achieve or not achieve yet. what is the beautiful experience that we had and still put a smile on our face thinking of it. when is the moment where u felt so warm and loved and when is the moment u felt so lost and nowhere to go, insecured. what mistake that we had done, that we still remember until now, hoping that we don't repeat the same thing again twice. And what regrets that we have, thinking of what causes to the regret that we have, hopefully our path in the future won't lead to the same disappointments and regrets.
It's always good to put your guard down, being meek and vunerable, not pointing to others but to ourselves, about our life and all.
It's so sick sometimes, that we have to think twice about whatever we're doing now, as whatever we do now may affect the future. that's why sometimes, people say it's so tired being an adult (read: mature), and it's better to be a kid (read: kiddish, immature, or still leaving in fantasy). my uni lecturer used to advice us, "pijak di bumi nyata". I believe, whatever we do may leave consequences in future, doesn't matter whether it's a good one or a bad one. it will somehow make a turning in our life. whether we fall or we stand stronger, it depends on whatever we do now. there's no worth gambling our time now for things that is up in the air that we believe we can have it, but the fact is, it's a fantasy. but much blessed, i have a group of people that i trust, that will pick me up when i fall, smack me hard when i 'fly' in the air, slap me when i'm 'unconscious'. I have a good company. Do you have a good company around you?
Priorities and responsiblities.
I always tell mom, giving her assurance that I can take care of myself. Mom still and always nag and nag, as if i just left home yesterday. And i always end it with, 'whatever i do, i know, i am responsible to myself and my life. So don't worry, I will take care for myself, for I have a responsible towards myself'. yeah, talking about priorities. in 5 months time, i'm having my 2nd year examination. How well did i do in my 1st year? Not so good i can say, but not that bad. But, hopefully, i pray, i can fly once again, score with flying colours. Hmm. I know what I'm doing. Do you know?
My Experiences.
I know i worth more that what i think i worth, though when u compare, a lot of other people achieved more than i do at my age. But thinking of the values and the goals that i want in my life, what i don't have as compare to you doesn't mean that i have less worth as compare to you. Never been to Italy or Germany at this age doesn't mean I didn't live my current life to the fullest and your experiences makes you worth more than me. Never been kissed doesn't mean i have less experience that you are. there's things that is worth waiting and never had it doesn't mean current chapter in life is not lived to the fullest.
I don't have anything to be proud of, nor i don't have anything that makes me think I'm much more experience than you are. I only believe in, learning together and fill in the blanks of flaws of the others.
At the mean time, i shall think of my new year resolution.
what do you want to achieve next year?
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My blog
Just the other day, friend was saying how dangerous having to rant/complain/announce/lecture/scold about anything and anyone. It makes us doesn't have sense of security where it seems that everyone knows what's going on with you, what happen to you, where do you like to hang out, where did you go lately, your daily activities and stuff. And, it was so scary and insecured that when a friend of a friend that I newly met asked me how come and why, questioning my daily activities and so on. I was like, huh, can i just say, why do u care? Just being polite to friend, I gave a simple and short answer.
A friend told me, not to be transparent to people and keep some to myself. But as for me, i believe in accountability, having people that u trust to check and balance on your life. Sometimes, we think that we can handle it all and people doesn't know what's the best for us, or people doesn't understand us as much as we do to ourselves. Just the other day, i watched Dejavu with a friend and the next day, within 24 hours, i watched it again at the cinema with another friend. Well, I couldn't say, I've known everything inside the movie as I've already watched it the day before, but when i watched it for the 2nd time, friend pointed out something in the beginning of the movie, which i didn't catch it or don't understand till the end of the movie. Hmm, what i meant is, sometimes we may not see the things that other sees. Or rather, sometimes, people can see clearer than we do.
Well, i guess, right now, the purpose of me having the blog has now changed. And i no longer can decide on my own, what to blog and whether will it mislead others. And for now, i'll just blog about the happening things around me or happen to me, while the thoughts and heart talk, I'll just keep it to my diary. Yeah, start writing it again. Just a journal of my life.
A friend told me, not to be transparent to people and keep some to myself. But as for me, i believe in accountability, having people that u trust to check and balance on your life. Sometimes, we think that we can handle it all and people doesn't know what's the best for us, or people doesn't understand us as much as we do to ourselves. Just the other day, i watched Dejavu with a friend and the next day, within 24 hours, i watched it again at the cinema with another friend. Well, I couldn't say, I've known everything inside the movie as I've already watched it the day before, but when i watched it for the 2nd time, friend pointed out something in the beginning of the movie, which i didn't catch it or don't understand till the end of the movie. Hmm, what i meant is, sometimes we may not see the things that other sees. Or rather, sometimes, people can see clearer than we do.
Well, i guess, right now, the purpose of me having the blog has now changed. And i no longer can decide on my own, what to blog and whether will it mislead others. And for now, i'll just blog about the happening things around me or happen to me, while the thoughts and heart talk, I'll just keep it to my diary. Yeah, start writing it again. Just a journal of my life.
Hang In
I look at it,
as though i can't grasps hold of it,
seeing that it's passing by and yet can't hold it,
like catching the air by our own bare hand.
as though sand slipping through the gaps in between my fingers.
I really miss the good old days, thou it's not over yet
and yet i'm feeling as if I've already lost it.
But I'm really afraid, that I'm slowly giving up.
Enjoy the music while it's still in the air.
I say, can it play forever?
as though i can't grasps hold of it,
seeing that it's passing by and yet can't hold it,
like catching the air by our own bare hand.
as though sand slipping through the gaps in between my fingers.
I really miss the good old days, thou it's not over yet
and yet i'm feeling as if I've already lost it.
But I'm really afraid, that I'm slowly giving up.
Enjoy the music while it's still in the air.
I say, can it play forever?
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Four spices
It has been a dramatic one for the past 2 weeks.
Sweet and sour, spicy and bitter. You name it. But no tears, thank God, no physical tears, just crying in the heart.
Last Friday after class, I went to help Sze move house. Yes, in the middle of the night. We moved stuff till 3am. Came back home to shower, then went out for supper-breakfast at 4am. Came back at 5am, then slept. Amazingly, the workout at the gym really helps a lot as. hehe.
A very close friend, tracy was admitted to hospital last sunday due to denggue. Thank God, she was discharged yesterday. Am really happy that i can finish my dinner yesterday night. Yea, was busy running here and there, going in and out to hospital to visit her, and standby with my phone to check on her while i'm not with her. Physically, mentally tired. But was all good now. Yes, this was the bitter one. Thank God, all good now and i regained my appetite and attention back.
Taking tracy as an excuse, I didn't attend any of the paper for the mock exam this week. Hmm. I did prepare for the exam, but since Sunday, my brain just couldn't work properly remembering all the cases and principles. At night, i helped tutor friends on subjects that i've revised and even stayed up quite late to call and wake them up one by one. Hmm... absolute tired already at night, but till stayed up to accompany them study and tutor them. Sweet one i know, i'm glad that I can stand in to help.
Sour and Spicy ones, to protect confidentiality and privacy, as well as me being attacked by the parties concerned, lets just say, i learnt to know, who being fake and who being true, who appreciates me and who doesn't. Felt like being stabbed, right in front, but slowly healing now...
Yeah, i think it was dramatic. Celest says, my life always been dramatic one. Hmm.. colourful one i can say. Black or white, blue or green, doesn't matter.
It comes to the end of the semester now that everyone is either back in hometown for holidays or in planning to spend the holiday season. Time really flies and I haven't enjoy this semester to the max.
Round up of my life in this semester;
ps, advice #1. Beware of Mosquitoes. advice #2. Think twice before putting 50 cents to other's pocket. they might throw it back at you.
Sweet and sour, spicy and bitter. You name it. But no tears, thank God, no physical tears, just crying in the heart.
Last Friday after class, I went to help Sze move house. Yes, in the middle of the night. We moved stuff till 3am. Came back home to shower, then went out for supper-breakfast at 4am. Came back at 5am, then slept. Amazingly, the workout at the gym really helps a lot as. hehe.
A very close friend, tracy was admitted to hospital last sunday due to denggue. Thank God, she was discharged yesterday. Am really happy that i can finish my dinner yesterday night. Yea, was busy running here and there, going in and out to hospital to visit her, and standby with my phone to check on her while i'm not with her. Physically, mentally tired. But was all good now. Yes, this was the bitter one. Thank God, all good now and i regained my appetite and attention back.
Taking tracy as an excuse, I didn't attend any of the paper for the mock exam this week. Hmm. I did prepare for the exam, but since Sunday, my brain just couldn't work properly remembering all the cases and principles. At night, i helped tutor friends on subjects that i've revised and even stayed up quite late to call and wake them up one by one. Hmm... absolute tired already at night, but till stayed up to accompany them study and tutor them. Sweet one i know, i'm glad that I can stand in to help.
Sour and Spicy ones, to protect confidentiality and privacy, as well as me being attacked by the parties concerned, lets just say, i learnt to know, who being fake and who being true, who appreciates me and who doesn't. Felt like being stabbed, right in front, but slowly healing now...
Yeah, i think it was dramatic. Celest says, my life always been dramatic one. Hmm.. colourful one i can say. Black or white, blue or green, doesn't matter.
It comes to the end of the semester now that everyone is either back in hometown for holidays or in planning to spend the holiday season. Time really flies and I haven't enjoy this semester to the max.
Round up of my life in this semester;
- 1st week - just came back. away from friends for 3 months, so, took much times to catch up with each other, even during lecture.
- 2nd week - rough waves coming in. caught up in 'wars' between people. worst case, cried 3 times on that day.
- 3rd week - still caught up with 'wars'.
- 4th week - family problem.
- 5th week - still, worry about family problem.
- 6th week - life back to normal.
- 7th week - another silent war happened, and i'm stucked in the middle.
- 8th week - back to hometown. Home sweet home.
- 9th week - Started the '2nd term' of the semester well...
- 10th week - in party mood.
- 11th week - my birthday, party everyday.
- 12th week - started to study. in the mean time, in dilemma.
- 13th week - study for finals.
- 14th week - study break.
- 15th week - exam week. tracy admitted to hospital. Final week of the semester.
ps, advice #1. Beware of Mosquitoes. advice #2. Think twice before putting 50 cents to other's pocket. they might throw it back at you.
***
took this at KGNS. a good place to release stress after class, by looking at the fishes and the turtle. During the preparation for exam last semester, i always play at the pond, poke on the turtle shell when they appear on the surface of the water. the way they drown in made me laugh out loud. Just want to share....
took this at KGNS. a good place to release stress after class, by looking at the fishes and the turtle. During the preparation for exam last semester, i always play at the pond, poke on the turtle shell when they appear on the surface of the water. the way they drown in made me laugh out loud. Just want to share....
Friday, December 08, 2006
50 cent
when truth does not go parallel with our desire, that's where our defence system is up with our arms ready, trying to change the truth into a fact that we can choose whether to accept it or not. but how much can others go after you putting that 5o cent into your pocket, and you throw that 50 cent back to that person and yell, mind ya own business.
truth is still truth, thou it hurts...
truth is still truth, thou it hurts...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
I'm learning...
Do I truly live like I believe
And do all my actions thoughts and deeds
An overflow of heart to speech
Reflect Your purity?
And have I really set aside
Those things I know You can't abide
So when i come to seek Your face
My hands are truly clean
I know that I must live a life
That causes man to look at Christ
So Father come set me aside
To live this life for You
And do all my actions thoughts and deeds
An overflow of heart to speech
Reflect Your purity?
And have I really set aside
Those things I know You can't abide
So when i come to seek Your face
My hands are truly clean
I know that I must live a life
That causes man to look at Christ
So Father come set me aside
To live this life for You
excerpt, I Kissed dating goodbye, By Joshua Harris
Sunday, December 03, 2006
So true, Color Quiz
 | Cynthia took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks freedom from problems and a secure state of ..."
|
Friday, December 01, 2006
Update VII
It's coming to less than 2 days before our semester exam. Yeah, exam and why am I still edit pictures and blogging here. Haha. It's only a test for us but for the twinning programme student, it's an exam that contributes some marks towards the final exam. Well, we always have group discussion, but not everyone is there each time of group discussion. *smile* This week is our study week before the exam, and the whole gang went to IKEA almost everyday to study at the restaurant. Hmm. thanks to IKEA for having free flow of drinks and coffee. Everyone (except me and addy) was serious with discussion and studies, and like what Addy said, it's weird. haha.
Previously, discussion was just one person talking and the rest either really concentrating or thinking of something else. As it's not exam yet and we had our weekly discussion, always me and Tracy blink blink our eyes sending signals, "where are we eating later?". And now, everyone has their own set of notes, materials and all. And everyone participated in discussion. Except for me. See what i'm doing, taking pictures.
Well, usually i'm the naughty one. *wink* Been playing since the semester started. Skipping classes like no obligation to attend classes. Do some other stuff while lectures. Slept once when we had equity class. Chat with people, especially people besides me. Play missed call with fella class mates. Yea, even chased people around in the class during break time when Mr Company Law Lecturer was in the class.
But, still the favourite at all time, cam-whore was not forgotten. Even at IKEA. There were people looking, there were people watching, there were people trying to see what were we studying. Hmm. We did stack all the original books (not photocopied ones) together and have the title of the book face out so that people know and stop looking. Well, it's not proud being a law student. Nothing to be proud of, just want people to stop looking. But well, other than looking at what were we studying, some guys were looking at the girls *blush*. Not me lah...But other than other people looking at us, we did look at other people as well, especially little kids. They are just so cute. Wanted to take pictures of them, but afraid that I'll be whacked by their parents. Don't think they are as violence as me huh, always want to whack people. kahkah....
(Basically running out of words as I'm thinking of my books there waiting...)
The all in reds together while the black ones standing behind.
The gang
Muaks, with love. me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)