Months ago, in the midst of busyness with work over the weekend, I allocated the afternoon of the weekend to help gf's sister. She wanted to join a dance competition and in order to join, they need to send in a cover, a video of them introducing themselves and submit together a video of their dance. So, gf actually went around with her sister and the friends to do the cover for the DVD and later on I join them for the recording of the dance.
The dance, at the park, under the hot sun, to avoid crowd, was, hot, sweaty, and hot. GF trusted me so much with my skills, so I was there to record and all, together with them under the hot sun. Yea, and when we were taking a break, gf said to me, "so much so being supportive yea." Knowing they will compete with other countries as well, knowing it would be really competitive as dances all around asian countries would be submitting their dvds, knowing that their dance do not really stand out, knowing the camera lady sucks as well, knowing there would be not canggih editing and cropping and cutting and etc, they still took their time in preparing for their dance including what to wear and what song to pick to dance and practice the dance. seriously so much effort but they enjoy it. Well, knowing it would be one out of a million, what are we doing there?
I am not sure how would I react or how I am going to handle if my kids wanted to do something which I think it is quite impossible. Knowing the outcome would not be as idealistic as they actually think, knowing the outcome would be one in a million. I assured my gf, that it's not about the outcome, but it's about believing in them, giving them the confidence and assurance that they need as part of growing up, giving them the acceptance that one day, they will succeed as long as they don't give up. Well, said is easier than done.
Today, my gf asked me for my blessings. For something I don't believe in. For something I don't have confident in allowing her. I said "Sorry, I can't give you that blessings. I hope you understand..."
Really, easier said than done. Supporting them even though you don't believe in them. At last I understand how it felt like when parents don't agree with what I am doing or wanted to do. I don't get the support either for doing what they do not agree. But one thing which I am different from them is, I still have my gf's back. I'm not going to point finger and shout "i've told you so". But i told her, I have her back and i will always be there, whenever she needs me.
Still..... it's so hard to support even though you don't believe in it. Still, no blessings from me.
1 comment:
An interesting observation, and one that I agree in that, until put into such a situation, there is no way we are able to understand how our parents felt when facing such a dilemma.
In terms of supporting someone for something that they believe in (and that you do not), I suppose we can split them broadly into two categories, those which would cause harm, and those which would not. If my son were to tell me he believes he can fly, and insists on making wings and jumping off tall buildings to prove his point, no, I will definitely not "have his back" nor support him. However, if he tells me he wants to enter a competition in which he does not possess any aptitude or talent in, I would still encourage him (blessings part, well, I am still not sure).
I think when it comes down to it, sometimes, we just need to give them support, and let them realize (once the outcome has been determined) that some things just do not work (or perhaps, on the off chance, some, might!).
As such, am in total agreement with you, and I hope that, upon reflection, you find the inner strength required to follow your dreams and give it your best shot! (just please don't tell me you believe humans can fly and are out to prove it! :P)
Be strong and take care!
-AOF
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