Untitled XI

It's always been this opening sentence... It has been a dramatic week....

It was a dramatic week. Though just attending lectures and church in the weekend, more than that happened. I only can say, human always appear tough but deep inside, weak. It's tired trying to appear tough sometimes, and should u let your guard down, you're just as weak as a baby. It's okay to be not okay, Milia said.

Went to church as usual, which as good today. Then went to The Curve, had lunch and then walk around the flee market. Tried to get a ear phone as my ear phone already spoiled. So, had it actually on the counter of the Sony Style waiting to pay, but the waiting makes me impatience. So, I left without buying it. *hmmpf*

This week i've watched 3 movies with Yeng. 1st one was okay. 2nd one we didn't finish watching as Yeng had problem with her contact lens. 3rd one.. haha.... i enjoyed the music, but i think, half of the time we were talking and kicking the seat in front/looking around/ticking yeng and etc etc. It's a nobody-talks-and-only-music-and-dancing movie. Companion makes a big difference.

Next week, or coming week is Chinese New Year. I'm not going back to hometown as my whole family is coming over. So, for those who is staying in KL for the celebration, if you're in KL town, can give me a call and drop by at the hotel, mom and dad will give you angpao, don't worry. haha.

have a great weekend ahead!

Paint the Year

(I know this happened some 2 weeks ago, but due to the lazyness in editing pictures, it took me quite sometime to sit still and edit the pictures.)

The college zone of the church had Mural Painting Project, "Paint the Year Together". And my cell was one of the first to paint it when the whole piece of paper is still blank. We had a 'kandang' of our own, since we're called Fellowsheep. So, everyone had their skills showed off there, in trying to paint our own sheep there with our name.

Me, as usual, have to have to have to put my mark there, showed off my painting skills too. I know it's blue, and it's small. I'm just trying to make it simple and nice. Using my fingers to stamp the body of the sheep and the head, i drew leg and the neck. Later then, I drew another one and had Yeng to write her name. Yeah, the 'SY' is too big. That's her art... don't laugh!



Someone spoilt the painting inside our 'kandang', and then later Jon tried to cover it up with turning it into an orange colour sheep. Well, it doesn't look like a sheep, more like an orange bloated sheep. And it's called, Jon the orange.



As for Charlene, nicely we asked and asked, at last, she joined us in painting her sheep there. After drawing out the body of the sheep....

Char, Oh no, there's no place for me to draw the leg....
Celeste, Never mind lah, you try to squeeze it down there and
draw the head there (while pointing here and there)
Me, or you can draw the leg all up there, as if it is lying down....
Ya ya ya, like lying down on green pastures....


So, she had the sheep's leg all up as if it's lying.. on green pastures.... Psalm 23.

So, this... our master piece.

I had fun!

Someone

Lately I had not been sleeping very well. Not that I'm too tired or stress over studies, but just couldn't sleep well. It's already a month after the new year, but yet i couldn't see any changes/progress in life but still carrying the same burden, the same problem. No one seems to understand, not even me know it myself thoroughly. I wonder why.

I can't say every decision that i made is correct, nor I can say, every steps that I made, I made with no regrets. With the same situation given at the 2nd chance, I'm not sure whether i can do better, or I'll lead to the same way. The thing is, I've been carrying it alone, all by myself.

It's no easy being someone much more mature, someone under the spotlight. Someone that people look up to, someone that people see/analysis every action and word of mine. I would rather be the person behind the stage, walking not under the limelight and yet still equivalently important. Is this possible?

If you ask me to differentiate between black and white, I really don't know what's the criteria or requirement making it black or white. Things can never be purely black or purely white, and human can never distinguish strictly the colour of it, as individual human as different interpretation.

As for me, I'm not sure why, but I just know, I am afraid of disappointment and getting hurt. The thing about taking the heart out and treating people sincerely, sometimes everyone appreciates them, sometimes it's not appreciated. And the thing about doing good deed for others, sometimes people doesn't even know you're being nice to that person, or even protected that person once as an angel. Famous quote of all season, to give and take and when the right hand do good deed, don't let the left hand know about it.

My firewall is getting higher and higher, my guard is increasing from time to time. To prevent people from getting in, and to prevent people from hurting me. I am constructing, a world of my own again.

Can someone crush my wall down though u know you'll get hurt in process?