Just last week, our client's opponent called the firm up and I picked up the phone. The moment he said hello, I know I was in deep sh*t, knowing, it's the mad person I have to face. True enough, the guy first asked about the updates in regards with his matter. And he didn't know anything about it during the last month as he has moved to another state and updated us the address, which we didn't take notice (and still send to the old address). In the end, I was scolded or blame was thrown to me, though it wasn't me who handled his file. But doesn't matter who, I just let him scold, stupidly, and in the end he slammed the phone on me.
I didn't feel anything about it. We, sometimes, encounter all this nonsense people and whether we allow ourselves to be affected by them, is our choice. Later on, when my boss was around, just out of lack of conversation or the awkwardness of silence in the working station when he was using the cubicle behind me, I just told him what happened (cause a lot of these things happened and we just report it to him, so that he knows how to handle them in future) and how I handled it. Well, he asked how did i react or response. I said, I didn't do anything. rather than going forward to reason / scold / explaining (which is not my fault at all on my part), I just kept quiet and let him finish whatever he wanted to do by calling us.
And it strike me that, my boss was saying, my method of handling these matters, rather than going front, I just step backward and have my moments, be it to look, or not to be overwhelmed, or just don't want to be affected. And what boss said or mentioned about me that, the moment people strike and I just let, people will keep striking me (in that same matter). Not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing.
It is so much easier to take the sword to just strike or defend. So much easier to just utter the words that come out from your mind when you're kinda irrational because of overwhelmed with whatever that is happening or just happened. But, I always choose not to tell or explain my stand or position in that matter, which is a disadvantage to me.
Something very saddening just happened and I'm still trying to overcome. Though I know it's a whole misunderstanding, but I still keep it to myself and hold it to myself, though it aches my heart. How I wish, an understanding of both side can be made, raise the glass and move on. Cause whatever that we had before, I have fear that it's gonna slip away, or already slipping away bits by bits. And, whether this worth what we had before, only we know. It's really, a whole, misunderstanding.
(So hey) just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around!
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around!
2 comments:
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, an angry person is just looking to vent his or her frustration at the nearest possible target (in this case, you, since you are the one who picked up the phone), regardless of whether or not such lashing out was accurately directed at the proper person. Anger has a way of making us bereft of our (usual) senses.
Was it unjustified? MOST CERTAINLY YES. Could things have been better if you reacted differently? PERHAPS. To paraphrase a Cantonese saying, "Explaining is equivalent to making an excuse". It is easy to assume that if you had reacted calmly, explaining matters in a direct and non-threatening manner, it would somehow abate his anger.
However, it is also entirely possible that he may mistake the same action as an attempt to shift the blame onto someone else and to relieve yourself of any responsibility, thereby taking further umbrage and inciting his rage even more. No one knows which of these will happen (or if another unaccounted for possibility would have occurred); this difficulty is compounded by the fact that it was a telephone call (a face to face meeting would at least give you a chance to speak your peace after he was done venting!)
You choosing to characterize yourself as a reticent person when it comes to explaining your stance and position comes as a little bit of a surprise to me, given my impression of you as being rather outspoken and not one who shies away from voicing her own thoughts (perhaps I do not understand you as well as I think I do!)
Regardless, as important as it is to defend your position, it is equally important to have the other party to be receptive to your vocalizing of your stance. There is no sense in explaining yourself to a wall, or to someone who will not listen (or has already made up his/her mind prior to this). Such is an exercise in futility (this ties in with the first 3 paragraphs above). If however, it is something really important to you, then by all means, do make every possible attempt to do so.
I am sorry to hear that something sad has happened. If there's anything that I can help with (even if it's just lending an ear to listen), don't hesitate. All the best, chin up, and keep your head held high, for we should not live in the past, rather, we should instead strive towards the future, for one is already history but the other has yet to come :)
-A long winded old friend
PS : Chris Allen > Adam Lambert! :P
Old (long winded) friend,
yeah, prob this is my weaknesses when it comes to this. not good in handling it.
since situation has become quite bad, i just don't want to do anything to stir up situation or make things worst. But yeah, someone close to my heart.
anyways... u bias is it, with the guy singer with eye liner. haha. i don really know his stuff, but just a few songs of him that i like.
i appreciate very much, your long winded comment. haha.
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