Untitled XVII

A friend asked me before, in between a picture of a sun rise and i picture of a sun set, which one would i choose.

I chose sun set. According to her, sun set means, the person is pessimistic. Whereas a person has a optimistic thinking if he/she chose the picture of sun rise.

For me, sun set can be a hope for a new tomorrrow, hoping for the sun rise to come again.

***

Still in the try-not-to-be-worried mode for my result would be announced tomorrow. Hope that someone can hit me till i faint and wake up only when i can hear my own result. There is a lot of what if and I can only pray, that i learn to place everything on God's hand, for He holds tomorrow.

All the best for those that confirm going to UK and for people like me, who is still waiting, God Bless you... and Me!

Undescribeable

It's back again, after for so long.

Thou it's not the first time, I've yet to learn to face it.

Not knowing how to deal with it, Can only wait for it.

It's nearer and nearer..... my exam result.

O_o

Pray that I pass with 55%. Not that i'm confident in myself, but rather place everything on the Higher Place. Too confident in my IELTS test and yet, just got a pass. *hmmpf*

Lord, I pray, let my desire be Your will. AMeN!

Orkid lah

There was an advertisement on kids milk powder, where the father tried to teach the son to pronounce "flower" while pointing at the Orkid. The son looked so blur, and at last blurted out "Orkid lah" to the father. Left the father in stunt.

And me, went to the Orkid Carnival held in town just yesterday.

It was held at the famous beach in KK, Tg Aru.

I like most, pure white without flaws. Too perfect.


Lovely.

This, look like a sandal.
The chinese name of this flower is something gotta do with shoe

Same for this.

Took about 35 pictures just with my phone camera. Love it. Save the pictures for post in future. Till then, have a good weekend. God Bless!

Last Day

Today, officially was my last day in work. After 6 weeks of training in the law firm, i finally had another working experience added in my resume. There's nothing much that i've learnt. Everything looks odd and normal to me. Going to court, meeting up lawyers, talk to the boss, preparing documents, nothing special about it. Except for once, that I met clients and in the process of getting him to sign the affidavit of service, I had a great (read:trouble) in explaining what is the documents and the progress of his case.



After 6 weeks, I gathered my stationaries and returned it back to the administrator of the office. I went into the office after lunch today and found out that I was robbed. haha. My calculator, ink pad and eraser was taken by a colleague. bleh. she smiled sheepishly at me.

I clean up my desk, check all the drawers and delete everything that i've saved and installed inside the computer, including the history of websites that i visited (yea.. i don want ppl to know that i visited the yellow page :p), the documents that i opened and the songs that i listened to. Not a trace in the computer, before i shut down the computer, i deleted my MSN account.

Having to finish my training period in the firm means that my result is coming very near to me. Am worried at the same time excited. Thou result is mine and mine alone, but it seems like there is a lot of other people's name on top of the result slip. Yes, I am not quite alone in person, but lotsa people connected to me. I received a parcel from Cardiff University today, and was excited with stuff that is inside. Mom heard me and say "don't get too excited. You will never know whether you're confirm going or not".

yesterday, i discussed about the air ticket with an Aunt in church, and she asked "Why? You don't have confident in yourself?". Once again, it reminds me whether I am dreaming and reaching for the impossible or have i tried my best to make things possible to me. People don't seems to understand. They don't understand how did I go through my exam. How did i handle my stress, and cope with it. They don't understand, why did i cry in stress and how did i brave through it. They don't understand how tough is it to even make it happen, but we've already tried. I've already tried my best. But trying is not enough. People wants to see the result.

I'll just surrender all to God, for i know, He holds tomorrow.

Decision II

Just within 24 hours, my younger brother was asked to pack and leave home to University and attend classes for the new course immediately. As it was my brother's out of home for the first time, I helped him to buy stuff and pack whatever he needs and even wrote a list of what he should buy when he arrives the new place. Since dad is accompanying him to go over, guys are just not as detailed as women in thinking of things that he needs to settle down. Well, although i've been coming back and out of home several times, I'm still not good in packing and bringing things that is necessary. the first thing that comes to mind is his gadgets. Cloth comes later....

the sun rise this morning..

I first came out of home 7 years ago, when i was only 17 plus. I came from a strict and conventional family, with my parents, as described as my younger brother, are antiques. Particularly strict on me, i used to think that they are just unfair to me. Before coming out of home and stand on my own feet, I've been to the cinema once only, I've never hang out with friends before, be it at the coffee shop or shopping mall, I've never been shopping with friends, and that was how my life is. And when I arrived the hostel on the first night out of home, i chased my mom away, told her not worry. I'm not excited about me having wings, but, look forward to life in college.

"Either you fall or you grow stronger"

My first semester was a disaster. As everything is new to me, even just hanging out with friends at the mamak also i will go along. For almost every night, i won't start doing my work before 11pm and I'm always sleepy in class. Even a lecturer asked whether i go clubbing every night. (&*^%# lecturer, can ask this kind of question. Who go clubbing every night??!!!) And my result, just enough to pass, without credit. It was terrible. It was as if, you're floating at the sea and the level of the water reach your nose that you hardly can breath. Parents was worried, dad called almost everyday during the following semester. And each call either end up with argument or I cried. Thank God, I graduated.

After looking at how restless, worried, troubled are my parents dealing with lil brother's matter, i finally realised how much important our decisions in life can relate so much with other people. the fact that we live in a community, the fact that we have family, means that we cannot make decision based on our own will and way, but making decisions from all angle and view, accepting different opinions and suggestions. When we were young, we look up so much for freedom, freedom to do anything that we want and not wanting parents to interfere. Whether it's about the course that we want to take, the so called love relationship that we want to build, the friends that we want to hang out with, and the way we want to live our life. But the truth is, whatever we do, if we fail, our parents have to clean the shit for us, and we still claim, that we are old enough to take care of ourselves.

can u see the image of the cloud that looks like a Mickey Mouse?

that tired face of parents having sleepless nights, the nagging and lecture of mom continued for few days as though a radio is opened 24 hours non-stop, let me see how much they love us, how much they care for us. And the once rebellious of me, fall and stand stronger, and they are still there for me, never give up, never leave me alone and continue to believe that, I will be successful one day. And i finally understand, either i fall, or i stand stronger.

caught the sight of rainbow....

In life, there is no right or wrong choice. there is only, what is the best to us, out of all the good decisions available for us. There is always a U-turn towards the end of the road, and there is always a second chance in life, but, whether does it worth it to take a risk in making decisions while thinking there is always a second chance.

Strike the best or a U-turn?

to be continued...

Decision I

Some weeks ago, a pastor speak of a message, and she began with a story.....

3 person of different citizenship were put into a jail for 3 years. 3 of them were given a wish, whatever that they wish for, just one, will be granted.

Man #1, "since my country is famous for its cigar, give me boxes of cigar". So as he wished.
Man #2, "I miss the women in my country, give me a gorgeous lady to accompany me throughout the term of imprisonment". And his wish, was granted.
Man #3, "Can i have a phone?". Of course, this was granted as well.

3 Years later, 3 of them were released.
Man #1 ran out of the main gate of the prison and shouted "give me fire, give me fire" with the cigar hanging at his lips.
Man #2, came out with the gorgeous lady, with 2 babies in their arm and one coming soon.
Man #3, had Mercedes and his men waiting outside the big gate. "I've made a lot of business throughout my term in the prison, thanks to the phone that was given."

Of course, you think the story was exaggerating. But that's not the main point. What the pastor trying to say is, "do you think what you do today, affects who you are, tomorrow?"

Life is full of choices, and everyday we have to make one. Whether it's about where we should have our meals or which college should we choose, does affect us, directly or indirectly. While one choice of life lead to a wider and good choices, one bad choice does make a big turn in our life. While people say, we started of with a white piece of paper and our parents shapes and colour the paper, in some point of our life, we, are the author of our own paper. As children grew older, we hold our future, we choose our path and we make our own decision.

A lot of people set an aim in life, or goals to achieve in certain age of life. First million in my account by age of 30 or a Ferrarri of mine parked in my house garage before the age of 40. While more down to earth people aim at more realistic goals, but no matter how realistic is the goal such as earning big bucks, owning a big company and a big house, these goals are still considered something that u think of when u day dream, if you don't work towards it. But certainly, the biggest achievement in life is not about the amount of money you earn or how much property you have, not about the amount of branded cars do you have or the public recognition that you get. While all these are so fragile, that today you have these, what if tomorrow it's all gone. Do you still considered yourself, successful in life?

While history tell us the steps and mistake that our ancestor made, it also teaches us not to repeat the same mistake and to be a better person. Country develops through the it's own history and the history of other country, but we, grow and learn from our own mistake and others. While the coward me don't dare to take steps out of extraordinary, often I'm cautious with my own steps, for i know, I don't afford to lose it. One Life, we all, have only one life.

One Life, what are you going to do with it?

A lot of people say, do whatever you want when you're young in age, when you're so naive and innocent. Whatever that can be, ranging from having puppy love relationship, to clubbing in clubs and disco, to climb the highest mountain or to conquer the world (the world or that little world revolve around you). That is when you find pleasure and fun that you will not get when you enter into adulthood. but to have such enjoyment, also need to see whether you have such capability. While a lot other people take things seriously with their life, some are not, or rather, some seek more of enjoyment in life than seeking things that is important in life, self equip.

self satisfaction or self-equip?

to be continued...