I'm not a lost generation

Check out this awesome video. A friend sent to me, while both of us burn the midnight oil.

Stepping Stone

I never wanted to do this. And this would be the last thing in my list. I never thought of doing it, never ever. But no matter how much I don't like it, I still went and register for it, the CLP. I remember entering the college, thinking how am I going to say, this is my college. I never wanted to do CLP, let alone coming to this college to study. I registered, and paid half of my fees. I was thinking, in a month time, probably I'm out of here and pursue other things.

So, I never called this my college. I always address it as BAC or the school. No offence to the institution, just me doesn't want to sit for the paper. I consider this place, as me passing by, not wanting to settle, not wanting to get comfortable, not wanting to feel belonged here. All, I want to do, probably just let time pass by, and will leave once I make decision what I want to do and where I'm heading to. I'm just, honouring what my dad says.

So, September passed and I'm still here. December passed and the new year came. I thought, may be I'll start working after the festive seasons but norpe, I was still there. May be I've given up, may be I was already half way in this, may be I should give it a try.

Although my heart never set for this, but still very consciously, my mind doesn't work together with my heart and I did study consistently since November. A bit slack and a bit of hardworking, a bit of lepakking and a bit of overworked, today finally, was the last day of our course. I was a bit sad, thinking, why I didn't I start appreciating my life in CLP and only till the last few months of the course, I started to mix around and get to know some really cool and great people. And really, time flies when we start to enjoy,

Today, was the unofficial last day of class. The next two weeks will determine what we gonna do next year. Although everyone keeps it to themselves, the fear of exam and results, but we still continue cheering for each other, hoping that we'll make it together.

All The Best!! AKHL, DW, FL, FSL, LSC, JLPK, JS, NN, PL, YHW! It's been great knowing you!

At 11

I remember very clearly, i first listened to his song, at the age of 11, when I stayed overnight at school as we had band performance the next day. Heal the World, from a cassette of one of the teacher. I remember i held on to the cassette player, listened to this song repeatedly. It was a cassette, so what I did, when the song ends, I would rewind it all over again and play it again. I still remember that night, that moment, which classroom we were in, what did we do inbetween when I found the cassette until the time when we get to rest. And it's still my favourite until now. I can even recite the lyrics, the whole thing!

I hope, the next generation will learn to know about him, just like we learnt about Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin by Theresa Tang. I hope, our next generation would have someone like him, that brings impact in their heart and this place, will be a better place for the human race.

You will be remembered, MJ.

Quick Update

I got class in half an hour time.

2 weeks more. or less than 3 weeks more.

I want to go celebrate!!

I feel so, different now.

I am, very grateful now.

K... stop the nonsense.

Happy Thursday.

Ciao!

ps: no photos for time being, as the computer that i'm using now has software problem and my other computer... died already lah.... so, just bear with the text only post for time being. xoxo

One week and 3 weeks

What I was up to for the past one week.

Reverse a bit, 2 weeks ago, i left my car at the car wash centre at my apartment. I forgot to collect it back, hence it stayed overnight there. The same night, the ceiling of my toilet collapsed. Apparently, my nice neighbour up there poke the pipe until it burst or something, and it drop on my ceiling and therefore it collapsed.

Past one week, my laptop died on me. So i brought it to HP Centre for it to be fixed. Initial check confirms that it's LCD problem. But i think it's the graphic card problem, cause the same symptom happened before it crashed on me last year. Then i asked for quaotation.

1. Service charge, include open up and check only. RM95
2. LCD only - RM1100
3. Since there is internal webcam attached, if it's broken. Including the LCD is RM1500
4. Graphic card (attached together with motherboard, so have to change the whole thing)
RM1396

I took back my laptop, without even allowing them to open up and see. So darn expensive.
It's only 17 months old.

And Yesterday, I sent a friend home to her place in Sunway. As i reversed, I saw that bits of wall sticking out and I even told myself to be careful. Either I was tired or I need new pair of glasses, the right side of my car butt bang to the wall with a loud BANG. >.<

Well... it doesn't look like things don't run smoothly on my part, cause, I was laughing while I told my friend

"You know.. my laptop died one me.. HAHAHAHAAH".
"I just langgar the wall with my car butt... HAHAHAHAHA"


3 weeks from now, I'll be sitting for the Peperiksaan Menguji Ketahanan Lasak Anda dan Memori Anda (forgive my malay, i.... errr.. left high school long time ago..).

And, I'm here blogging and just finished a tv session. Seriously, I haven't even finish reading up my syllabus. left 1 big subject and 4 small subject. Can jump well, quote HS.

Right, have a great weekend people! God Bless you!!

On My Table

Standing Still

It has been in my mind for quite sometime. And it keep coming back to me no matter how hard i suppress it or try to avoid it. And during a close friend's wedding last week, all that I've suppressed in finally appeared all together, just like the light stuff all floating up on the water after being suppressed underneath. I can't help it, but the tears just flood my eyes and I tried to hard to hold it back, so that i won't ruin my make up, and it's someone's wedding!

Since the beginning of the year till now, I've attended some 4 weddings of my close friends and a cousin. till now, it's 4. they are People around me age, my peers. And what makes it worst is, people start asking when is my turn. And when they found out I'm with nobody, that makes it even more worst. And when the history of me not involved in serious relationship before, makes people wonder, if I'm gay (no offence to gay people okay...)

While my friend walk down the aisle, other than being touched by their love story and the relationship, I just thought back on my life and my love life. Seriously, I don't see that I lack of anything in my life. Loving parents, loving brothers, wonderful and loving sister in law, a group of supporting friends and a busy life. I don't understand what is it that I'm lack of, but, since the beginning of the year, I felt the pressure from people, just because I'm alone. As i told one of the Gfs about this yesterday, I can feel my tears, flooded my eyes.

Am I too picky, or the guys appear in my life just doesn't seem right. Why is it so easy for others to fall in love and be in a relationship but I can't. This was what I've been thinking. Until the poind where, I thought I am being too picky.

And yesterday, I told one of the GFs, that the main condition so called to become my other half, is He must be a christian. The moment i say that, I feel like I'm like this hard core holy fanatic Christian. Seriously, i start questioning myself, does it matter?

Yes, it does. I can't believe half of something and ignore the other half right. What Celest said last night was really encouraging. Never under estimate your own value, your own belief.

Going for it for the sake of it, is really wrong. Getting one just because I suppose to, is also wrong. having one just because everyone else did, is also wrong.

I'm also just a girl....

03.06.09

(Pictures in courtesy of LukasFoo)

I just found out these pictures from Lukas's blog.

I really didn't know or notice, that Darrel was behind me and manage to take a few shots with the studying me. I was so concentrating I guess, or just the music blasting at my ears can't hear anything else but the music. Bleh..

Back to study!

God Bless!