Sunday Outing

Yesterday, Sunday evening, I went to the beach with the Junior Youth of my church. Yea, not too old.. still can join them.. hahaha... played a lot, laughed a lot, tried to fly a kite.. but cannot.. until it rained then i stopped.. *blek* will try to fly the kite next time...

yea.. purposely wrote "lazyant was here", which Addy claimed that she can get any place with sand, write her name there and say she went to the beach before :p... well well....

Yea.. and this one.. superimposed picture... i edited my picture together with the beach.. and put some windy effect on it.. professional huh *roll eyes*

cut the crap.. i did went to the beach.... they had ice cream eating competition.. and at last... they play with the melted ice cream...

lovely crab.. as small as .. 5 cent coin? no.. smaller than that.....

It is the 3rd Post in a row with pictures. Friend say placing lots of photos will attract readers to see photos rather than read what i've wrote. But doesn't matter, those who cares and interested in my life will read ;) and the rest can enjoy the photos... haha!

Controlled Misconduct 2006

Just photos, nothing much. Just looking at those photos reminds me how happy I am being with my gang, and it's those photos that still put a smile on my face. Thanks friends! Enjoy!

2 Months ago and Yesterday

Thursday, June 23rd 2006

It's 4.25pm now, every 5 minutes i check the time, hope to see 5pm fast. haha...

Kids in my generation, grew up with My little pony, Care Bears, Suria Baja hitam not yet power rangers or power puff girl. I still remember well how LIttle Pony looked like, cause i always dream of owning one pony, and Care Bears where i always dream of having those little hearts or rainbow tatoo-ed on my body.. haha... but not forgotten Ultraman, where brother and i used to imitate how Ultraman acted.. yeah... and the favourites of kids in all generation.. playing with sand.

All these came back to me after Addy told me stories of her teaching in the kindy class. Just by looking at how they act and talk, really shows how simple their mind is and how naiive they are. sometimes, we just want to be kids forever, but time doesn't allow. And sometimes, we wanted to be as naiive as we can, as the more we know, the more complicated things can be, but society doesn't allow us to be naiive. And people tend to be afraid, to be afraid of stepping into the society, knowing that life is complicated out there.

Just being in the real working environment for 3 days making me realised a lot of things. Not that this is my first time working but this is the first time i'm connected to the society. Reading the cases especially, making me realised this is the real world and things not always go smoothly or expected. But not being afraid or wanted to runaway, I continue on reading and find out what really happened. we can't always find out the truth, we can't always help the criminal free from liabitility, we can't always help the innocent ones to claim what they deserve, but what we can do is to try out best to solve their problem. Yeng once said the world of adulthood is full of complication and problems. Yes, no doubt, but that's why we need to cling onto our family and close friends. For in them we can find assurance and peace, for in them we can find encouragement to bring us through our ups and downs. A friend once said, the older you get, the harder you can meet true friends. And most of our good friends are from our studying period. But well, doesn't matter when or where, everyday we will meet new people, see new faces, get to know new friends but only true friends will last long, that they are the one that will always be there for you in good and strife. i need not be afraid or give up, but just remembering those faces that give me warmth in my heart, telling me to go on...

Friday, June 24th 2006

About 2 months ago, Associate Dean of School of Law offered me president post of Law Society and I accepted it. Few days later, he called to congratulate me, that lecturers have decided to pass the post to me, as the new president for next term.

Arghh..... History is not that important thou now, practically this piece of story can be deleted from my mind, as it's not important now. From being elected as the President of Law Society for the new term and now was asked to consider switching my post to Vice president, making me disappointed. Other than the pride inside me, most importantly, i felt that my capability, my credibility was questioned. There were a lot of issues behind and i shall not say much here, not to protect confidentiality, but, rather not to judge and defence myself through this blog of what had happen. I can only say, that the timing wasn't right.

Today, during lunch break, Mr L called me again, regarding me being the Vice President. And after all the reasoning and explaination, i agreed with him. Rather than being selfish and fight for my pride, I let go my President Post, and rejected the Vice President Post. Meaning, stepping out from the Law Society. This wasn't about my pride, but I am disappointed. Just disappointed.

After the call, I just sit at my desk, thinking of what will happen. Not regrets about it, but just disappointment that left in my heart. One reason that i accepted the post is because I wanted to do something different in Law Society, wanted to do something different that helps the whole faculty of Law. But... i thought.. never mind. I believe one person can make a change, make an impact, but now, just the timing isn't right. I start sending mesages to close friends, telling them, i've stepped down. Didn't expect replies, but slowly, replies came in one by one. Those messages warmed my heart, knowing that, I'm not alone in this. Just letting go this post, I've gained true friendships. So, will have more time with you... friends *wink wink* Thank you so much! You guys are great!

from my heart, hope it touches yours...

I messaged you, to tell you that I’m finally home. I know it’s been a while after the last time we met. I didn’t give you a call, for I know you need some space. I know. I know you’re angry, for you thought, I’ve forgotten about you. I didn’t do anything, but doesn’t mean I don’t care.

You have your life, I had mine too. Our pace is different, our direction is different. We hardly call, we hardly sms. We even hardly meet. But does that means our relationship is nowhere now? I thought our relationship is strong enough, to keep us going. I thought, with the memories we had together, it proves it all that our relationship is strong enough to face the challenges that we have, the fact that we’re far apart. I thought keeping you in the important place in my heart prove it all that you’re still important to me. But I’m wrong. No matter how much I do now, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re mad at me.

I just want you to know, no matter how long we didn’t meet up, or how seldom I call you or sms you, you are still… important to me.

Not a superwoman

(At Coffee Bean now, 2.43pm, Listening to Planet Shakers....)

It was another fight this week, barely back at home less than a week. Yes, I'm so open up to tell about my little fight I have with people. I'm not a perfect one.... I am just disappointed at myself... that's all.

We had a fight again, a sort of continued version from where we left out the other night. And it ended up with me banging all the tables, chairs and wall around me. See, i'm not violence at all, and i'm not the spoil brat type that is stubborn and always think that the whole world owe me a life. I'm not a self-centred person, rather would sacrifice a bit just to see people around me smile. Yes, I am not usually the me today. And after all the banging and kicking, i broke down to tears. the pain in my heart was transformed to me hitting everything around me and at last to the tears.

The fight ended with me uttered "I shouldn't have come back.... I really shouldn't have come back." But i know, there's no way to run, what I have to face, is really what i should face. no hiding, no running but to face. The amount of responsiblity that I have back here at home, seems to disappear when i'm away, but slowly visible when i'm back here. Yes, no one can runaway from responsiblity, no one can runaway from whatever that is waiting for them, yes you can run, you can hide, but still.... you need to face them. and I did, I did face them. And to much of my surprise, I'm not as tough as I thought and my burden is getting heavier and heavier.. and i'm holding onto it....

the usually not me finally broke down today. finally home to a lot of people meaning they can eat and sleep all they can in holidays, but not me. the older I get, the more responsible I have. Just a few days back, I had video conversation with Addy, and the moment she saw me.. she said 'You look tired..'. Yeah, i'm tired. Seeing so many things, holding on some many matters, i'm juggling between people and their problem. family especially, every family have their problem after all, not one's perfect. Seeing those responsiblity and stress that I have, in another way, it's also a gift, to be so detailed to see other's life, to help in anyway, and to hold them on when they're tired... I'm happy actually, that i felt needed by my family and friends. Right now.. I'm just tired... tired of hanging on everything to myself.... I beg for understanding, just to have people to understand me, i'm not a supergirl after all, i'm not a superwoman, i'm not tough, i'm not emotionally stable and confidence, i'm afterall.... only a girl.. yes, at the age of 24, i should be more independant than most of my peers, to be more secured and stable than my peers, i should be more emotionally and mentally stable, but... i'm still a girl afterall...

I don't mind to being the middle child that knows everything, i don't mind taking up the responsibility of the eldest child of the family, I don't mind you coming to me and tell me all your problem, i don't mind being the juggler to solve others' problem, I don't mind being the person that you can turn to when you need a shoulder to lean, or ear to listen to all your grumbles, I don't mind at all.... I didn't ask you to understand me, I didn't even ask you to try to understand my situation.... if you can't help me at all, I'm fine with it... but please don't tear me down.. I'm really not a superwoman... i cry too... I fell down too.... although I'm 24 ... I'm still a girl.. I'm still learning... I'm not tough at all... I also need people to tell me 'everything's going to be alright'... I also need people to know that I AM NOT okay.... I also need shoulder to lean on when i'm tired... but having to know what's their reaction when I call them and tell them my problem, I then chose not to tell, I chose to keep it to myself, so hard to get people to understand me, so i chose to shut it down all to myself... i know this is only a while... I'll be fine later... it's just a process.. from falling to picking myself up... I can hear friend saying to me 'you'll be alright, I know you'll be alright'.. but sometimes.. when I'm totally burned out.. I really need... need you to be there for me....

I'm not a superwoman...

Sorry for I broke down and fought back, I know I shouldn't have. I should have been more tough than usual, more patience than normally I do and I should have a bigger heart to hold all the pressure given.....

I'm fine now.... not angry or mad, if it's mad.. part of it is because i'm disapointed at myself.. nothing more than that... I've picked myself up... knowing that no point hanging onto the broken heart for long time... I'll be stronger.. I know... but still.. not a superwoman... right now... still sitting at coffee bean, read 'Ps, i love you' before typing this post.. giggled and laughed while reading till the lady next to me kept on looking at me... my hand and wrist still in pain from the consequences of banging everything... yeah... banging everything is better than scolding people.. at least i hurt myself rather than hurting people... but mind you who is underage.. or not mature yet.. haha... I'm not encouraging you to be violence.. as I've said.. this is not usual me.. and I don't get mad easily and angry like this... it's just that I'm up to the point that I don't know what to do.... yeah... i'm fine now... typing out this post while replying addy's text messages... for she's in the firm now waiting to be interview... am excited for her.. cause I've done mine and It was a good experience.... so.. I typed a lot to make sure she grasp those experience and won't miss out even one of the exciting moment...

it's 3.40pm now... i haven't finished my cake and got to go... muaks... to all the people that i love...

Juggling and balancing…

You’ve changed…
Huh.. me?

Yeah…. You’ve changed…
Changed… to what?

I don’t know.. I can’t describe.. I just sense that you’ve changed…
*speechless*

That was the conversation that I had with a friend, which is not the first time but twice. I’ve changed, that’s what friend said. To what, I don’t know but I just know, this has been stuck in my head for quite some time.

You came to my life, somehow, our life path crossed and we’re moving in the same direction, towards that same goal of our life.. at least for that moment….

We shared our life, we shared the challenges, the burden, the laughter and tears….

Suddenly you left, heading to another direction in life... what can I do… I’m sad, but i still bless you and I’ve moved on.

I have my life, without you in the big picture, but at the same time blessing you in whatever you’re doing…

Then you’re back, slipping in straight to my life. You said I’ve changed, you said I’m no longer the person you know, you said I’m fake enough to be noticed that I’ve my mask on... but do u know me that well now to place that kind of statement on me...

But what about you? You came, we shared our life and you left as you like and I moved on. I MOVED on… I can’t just stop there for you; I can’t just sit there waiting for you. There’s so much responsibility I need to do, there’re so much things waiting for me, there’s social responsibility I need to fulfill, and friends waiting around… I can’t stop because of you, I can’t wait for you…

Yes, no doubt that it seems selfish that when you’re no longer in my life, I moved on without you. I didn’t wait for you; I didn’t stop because of you. But I didn’t stop emailing you, I didn’t stop calling you and message you, I didn’t stop thinking of your whereabouts and your life now. What else can I do? My phone bills increasing and you’re telling me I’ve changed and you don’t like the way i am anymore?

Relationships, boy girl relationships I never had, but friendships I had a lot. So so so many people come and go in my life, some left footsteps along the way and some did not. Some significantly left deep marks in me, and some uniquely coloured my life. I thank each of them for the good and bad that has been brought into my life. But still, I seems fail to maintain the friendships that I had, as the problem that I have now, is not with one friend but a few….

Life still goes on no matter how, it’s like a car that is moving non stop, sometimes there’s people hop into your car and when it arrive at some destination, they left us, but still, life goes on, cause the clock is ticking and the earth is still moving, and we still.. need to move on. Maybe you’ll say that I’m selfish, when I have you around, we hang out a lot and spend time together a lot, and when you’re not around, I care-less for you and hang out with other friends. But the truth is, no one has only a friend, no one is alone, for it’s your choice, whether to make friends or not, whether to talk or not, whether to sit there waiting or move on with life. Life has been great, having different phases and different chapters, different challenges we face bringing us to meet different kind of people, only true friends that will stay in each chapter of our life. I’m keeping those friends and still keeping till now, no matter how many chapters of life I’ve went thru and will go through in future, these group of friends still are my good buddy friends.

I believe I’ve done a lot and my part, one hand clapping will not make sound, only both hand will do, so I just ask… for you accept who I am now, whatever I am now, for the flaw that I have, for the changes that I’ve made, for the life that I have now. I didn’t ask you to understand me, I didn’t ask you to even try to understand my life now, I just ask you to accept who I am now, because no man is perfect…. but if u choose to walk away... i will still bless you... a friend once told me that i cannot please everyone, to be the person or the friend they wanted, but... i'm happy, as long as they're happy...

And from now, even if after months or years we didn’t see each other, I hope, we’ll still buddies… like what I’ve told Tracy…. No matter how long we didn’t keep in touch, as long as we meet, I hope we can still call each other ‘pig’ and no one is angry but laugh out loud!

Work Interview

Morning....

This morning, I was waken up by younger brother’s alarm clock, thinking that it’s my alarm and need to wake up for class… seconds later then only I realized… I’m on holiday….

I went to sleep again, seconds or minutes later, I was waken up by some queekie sound… I opened my eyes and I saw older brother’s doing some exercise with his dumbbell… in the room… He smiled at me, seconds later, I fall asleep again.

Later dad woke me up…. Need to send him to work.. yeah… I slept only 5 hours and woke up 7 in the morning… so… send dad to work… on the way dad brought me to the firm where I will do my attachment… without saying anything.. he asked me to start work tomorrow… it’s my cousin’s firm.. so I thought fine….

Went back home, had good breakfast.. went online trying to wake me up.. but in the end, fall asleep till 1pm.. haha… dad called… “You’ve got interview at 2pm”. Huh… I rushed to shower and prepare myself…

So.. the Interview….

I arrived the office…..

Hi.. can I meet Mr Thomas?
Ah?… Thomas?

Yeah… Thomas Ting..
Oh.. okay.. and you are?

Chang… Ms Chang…..
Okay.. have a sit….

Hi Ms Chang, you may go in.. (walked me to the room)….

With Senior Lawyer...

Hey… hi… (shake hand)
Hey.. what are you doing here? haha...

Hahaha…..
My name is Johnny lah…. My brother is Thomas.. in another firm….

Whoopss.. Haha! *blush* *paiseh*

The interview went well…. Will start work next week… learnt a lot just through conversations with senior lawyer and a junior lawyer. After the interview, I called up quite a few people… dad first, then mom.. then Huei Sze, Tracy.. then Brother… then Adriana…(hey.. those not listed/called up doesn’t mean you’re not important to me ya… ;) )…. Yeah… was eager to call up everyone.. and the last phone call was interrupted as I need to send parents to airport…. Hihi…. just want to share those moments and what I’ve learnt just meeting up with the lawyers… like what Addy said… those moments are meant to be shared…..

Dilemma….

I know your intention is right, what u did is for because you love me and for my sake. I know to worry is your nature, and you can’t worry more or worry less for me.

But while struggling trying to survive in the big city alone, I’ve tried myself hard, putting myself all in one, not allowing myself to break down but to continue walk, to continue climb, to win the battle, for the sake of your pride. No one can understand how I feel except those who are with me, joined me to win the battle together. I didn’t ask you to understand me, I didn’t ask you to accept whatever I’ve done, but all I ask is don’t pull me down.

I understand your love, your care, and your heart for me. But those love languages that u used doesn’t seems right for me. Not getting stronger in the society, instead fear is placed in my heart with those words and stories of discouragement.

And that’s how I’m in dilemma, cannot turn to left or right but stuck in between, whether to let you continue or to stop you, I know of your nature and understood your intention is out of love, but it doesn’t help me much and instead it push me down… And all I know and at least can do is let you continue, later I’ll break down to cry, and then I pick myself up and continue walk…. It had become a cycle….

but i still want to say thank you, thanks for everything. Maybe it appear that i don't appreciate for whatever you've done.. but in heart... i appreciate... that's why i chose to suffer in silence and cry to myself.....

Just Yesterday....

Journey back home

Yesterday after seeing addie packed and left home, i then went back home, packed my luggage in very last minute and left home to KL Central. Yeah, kept on telling addie not to pack so much back home but in the end, my luggage wasn't that light too, 22.2 kg. haha..

Arrived KLIA

....and head to the bookstore to grab magazine and went to KFC. On the way....

Hi, I'm from advertising company.. bla bla bla. We're doing a survey and just want a few minutes of yours, to give opinion on our product...
Oh.. okay...

So, what do you think about this perfume... (giving me some sample... reminded me about all the forward emails that i've got, about how ladies especially was cheated by giving them samples of perfume and ended out being robed...)
Oh.. hmm... nice, i said.. barely sniff the sample...

It's from Europe, will be in market in Malaysia next month, price RM 249.40. what do u think about the price?
Reasonable (compare to Chanel that mom gave me, and GA perfume from friend as gifts)

Huh.. oh.. we're doing promotion now, and it's RM99.90. On top of it, for you, i'll give you my own sample, meaning.. buy one free one...
Oh.. uh.. wow... (pretended to look flattered but actually not.. haha..)... you are good man... (business sense)...

So.. what do you think?
Uh.. nah... not interested...

How about i give u staff price... RM 89.90?
Huh... oh.. wow.. thanks .. but.. no... not interested...

How about half price... RM 49.90 per bottle (100ml ya...)
Huh.. whow.. oh.. but.. no.. not interested...

It's okay miss, if you're interested.. come back to us later.. (huh.. i thought just now you were saying you're going to off work already... and selling off the products in low price...)

After pushing away....politely, i said thank you and walked away headed to KFC. after my meal... i had a peep at where i bumped to the salesman just now and.... he was still there... haha.. i thought... i'm so clever *blush*...

so.. how much does it cost actually???

In the plane....

Had myself checked in with window seat.. but was exchanged with a little girl whose seat at the Emergency door.. cause the check in counter didn't check properly.. not to have kids sitting there.... bleh... i don't like seats there as you cannot put down the chair and sleep.. well.. okay... so.. i went and sit in... the passenger next to me came later.. big size guy.. not really big but at least bigger than me which he can put his leg straight to my side and kicked me a few times. Yes.. throughout the flight, i slept and woke by him a few times.. either his elbow touched mine or he kicked me.. and inbetween meal, he ate like he didn't eat for few days, with both hands holding fork and spoon, while me, squeezing myself to the other side and have my meal... just hate it...

Arrival at airport...

Waited my luggage for about half an hour.. my big luggage arrived later it's a big sized luggage... so heavy that i've got bruises now over my hand... haha...

Home....

Said hi to mom and gave dad a kick.. hehe... miss them so much.... i'm finally home......

After the Exam

Stress Period...

23rd May - Criminal Paper

That day was our first paper, slept a few hours only before the exam, trying not to sleep so well in case i forget all the cases, principles and statutes. Was happy when i first arrived the exam centre. saw all the classmates that i didn't see for more than a month because of the long study break. Didn't read for the very last minutes, but instead, chat with HueiSze and YetChin while waiting for Adriana to arrive.

Paper was over, Adriana and I went to McDonalds in KL Central for quick lunch, as reward... after being the 'criminal' for 3 hours. haha!

24th May - Constitutional Paper

Er... nothing much.... went well.. went okay... God's blessings also... spotted question also came out.. but how much i can score.... i don't know.. but i have faith... God will bless me...

26th May - ELS Paper

Also the same.. i've do my best.. spotted questions came out. Mr Lecturer is brilliant...

1st June - Contract Paper

erm.... i'll just say... i'll have faith...

After the exam....

1st Day Merdeka... Adriana and I went back to college as fast as we can, meeting up with Siew Yeng, Tracy and Anson, also finished their final paper also the same day as us... so eager to meet up... Met them at college.. gave each of them hugs and congratulate them... haha... went lunch.. then shopping.. hunt for dress for law ball..... then went back home and slept at 7.30 pm.. too tired as i had one hour sleep only the night before..

2nd Day... Woke up quite late... had quick shower and then rushed out to meet Tracy and BF.. Pizza.... before that stroll around Tesco because i arrived earlier.. went to bookstore.. got all the magazines that i've left out during the months of preparation and exam..haha... then.. met up with Adriana and Siew Yeng.... went to get dress.. then hurriedly went back home, dress up and make up... all set and went to attend KDU Law Ball 2006.. hehe.. had great time.... Tracy and her boyfriend, Darren..... Siew Yeng and Anson... Me and Adriana.... ya ya... both of us partner each other.... we took lots of photos.... some turned out to be blur.. but lots are good... will upload some time later...

3rd Day... Was waken up by 3 kids in house... can sleep more actually... but they complained hungry.... so.... woke up early, bring them around makan.... evening went to Klang for bahkuteh.. hehe.... so nicey.. and the dessert after the meal was so so so nice.. had 'tong yuen'.

stayed over at adriana's place...

4th Day.. Supposedly Adriana said we'll go to church in the morning, but two monkey overslept.. so... went straight to KLCC to meet Siew Yeng and her mom.. hehe.... shopping around then went back to Adriana's place.. then to my place....

5th Day... Meet up with Tracy and BF, Siew Yeng and Anson for Karaoke at Redbox, the Curve... yeah... had fun shouting and singing.. haha..... had great time.... then... went to Putrajaya to get bro's certificate... later went to Lowyat to get Cds... stayed over again at Adriana's place..

6th Day... today... both monkey slept till 12 pm.... went out only around 2pm.... lunch then stroll around LowYatt.. bought a DVD burner... then later at night, i found out.. that adriana's bro's laptop has DVD burner.. silly adriana used countless CD-R to burn her movies... haha!

Looking back..

for the past 5 months, not long but cannot be considered short period of time.... so short period of time but yet seems so long... i flipped back my diary few days back, last entry was February... and read back what i've wrote in the beginning of the semester, about expectations and my thoughts at that time... and barely know, that 3 months later, it turn out to be other way round... i remember i wrote about friendship and disappointments, and how i want to shut down my life from people, to be less passionate to people, to be less friendly to people and to be anti-social.... and my life would be sort-of colourless again, and become so cold and cool... but who knows, just at that moment, i get to get to know Siew Yeng and Adriana. We started going for movies, meeting up for lunch, and have study group and also badminton together... all together. i found my life coloured again, having to believe, God really place people around us. Barely colourless for few days only.... haha... i'm back on spot again... life back on spot... and that's why i always believe that, no one can take away your happiness, no one can take away your life except you yourself... it's your own choice, whether to be happy or not to be happy... just like the famous quote says 'to see the glass half full or half empty'. i can choose to shut down my life from people, i can choose to shut down myself from friends, i can choose to be cold.. but.. i've chose not to.... or maybe i'm just feeling down when i wrote that particular entree, and it was those moody and feelin blue that everyone faces once in a while, after walking the walk of life, some how you will feel tired and want to sit down for a while, but no matter how, it's always your choice, to make things right and better for yourself...

hehe... right now... still planning my holiday, how to spend my 3 months holiday... any suggestion? keke.....

2 Months ago and Yesterday

Thursday, June 23rd 2006

(It's 4.25pm now, every 5 minutes i check the time, hope to see 5pm fast. haha...)

Kids in my generation, grew up with My little pony, Care Bears, Suria Baja hitam not yet power rangers or power puff girl. I still remember well how LIttle Pony looked like, cause i always dream of owning one pony, and Care Bears where i always dream of having those little hearts or rainbow tatoo-ed on my body.. haha... but not forgotten Ultraman, where brother and i used to imitate how Ultraman acted.. yeah... and the favourites of kids in all generation.. playing with sand.

All these came back to me after Addy told me stories of her teaching in the kindy class. Just by looking at how they act and talk, really shows how simple their mind is and how naiive they are. Sometimes, we just want to be kids forever, but time doesn't allow. And sometimes, we wanted to be as naiive as we can, as the more we know, the more complicated things can be, but society doesn't allow us to be naiive. And people tend to be afraid, to be afraid of stepping into the society, knowing that life is complicated out there.

Just being in the real working environment for 4 days making me realised a lot of things. Not that this is my first time working but this is the first time i'm connected to the society. Reading the cases especially, making me realised this is the real world and things are always go smoothly. But not being afraid or wanted to runaway, I continue on reading and find out what really happened. we can't always find out the truth, we can't always help the criminal free from liabitility, we can't always help the innocent ones to claim what they deserve, but what we can do is to try out best to solve their problem. Yeng once said the world of adulthood is full of complication and problems. Yes, no doubt, but that's why we need to cling onto our family and close friends. For in them we can find assurance and peace, for in them we can find encouragement to bring us through our ups and downs. A friend once said, the older you get, the harder you can meet true friends. And most of our good friends are from our studying period. But well, doesn't matter when or where, everyday we will meet new people, see new faces, get to know new friends but only true friends will last long, that they are the one that will always be there for you in good and strife. i need not be afraid or give up, but just remembering those faces that give me warmth in my heart, telling me to go on...

Friday, June 24th 2006

About 2 months ago, I was offered President Post of Law Society and accepted the offer. Few days later, my associate Dean called and congratulate me. After the meeting with the lecturers, they finally have a decision. I was given the post.

Arghh..... History is not that important thou now, practically this piece of story can be deleted from my mind, as it's not important now. From being elected as the President of Law Society for the new terms and now was offered to switch my post to Vice president, making me disappointed. Other than the pride inside me, most importantly, i felt that my capability, my credibility was questioned. There were a lot of issues behind and i shall not say much here, not to protect confidentiality, but, rather not to judge and defence myself through this blog of what had happen. I can only say, that the timing wasn't right.

Today, during lunch break, Mr L called me again, regarding me being the Vice President. And after all the reasoning and explaination, i agreed with him. Rather than being selfish and fight for my pride, I let go my President Post, and rejected the Vice President Post. Meaning, stepping out from the Law Society. This wasn't about my pride, but I am disappointed. Just disappointed.

After the call, I just sit at my desk, thinking of what will happen. Not regrets about it, but just disappointment that left in my heart. One reason that i accepted the post is because I wanted to do something different in Law Society, wanted to do something different that helps the whole faculty of Law. But... i thought.. never mind. I believe one person can make a change, make an impact, but now, just the timing isn't right. I start sending mesages to close friends, telling them, i've stepped down from the post. Didn't expect replies, but slowly, replies came in one by one. Those messages warmed my heart, knowing that, I'm not alone in this. Just letting go this post, I've gained true friendships. So, will have more time with you.. dear friends *wink wink*