Rant VII

It happen again.

I don't know why. I see it happening, again. Just in front of me, around me. Still, i refuse to believe it, I refused to accept the fact that, it was what people has been telling me. I still, look for an excuse for every little things that I refuse to believe. I.... still Hope.

There is a saying,

treat other people
like how u want them to treat you - expectation

But take it contrastly with,

to give and take- no expectation

Do we expect when we give? Like people gives/donates to charity, with the heart of hoping that God will bless them back or with the heart that hoping that someone else will be blessed. But what about relationships. Friends or people in love chasing after the ones that they love. I think, the least we can do is, not asking anything for return, but at least, hoping for something to show that whatever we've done is appreciated. Yea, like a nod or a big smile, a big pat of encouragement or a hug of assurance.

but what about people who is receiving all the act of love. taking it for granted maybe. or having that perception of "hey, i didn't ask him to treat me this nice. It's a voluntary act.", or "yeah, he's being nice to me cause he need something from me.", or "i don't need him, why should i invest time/effort in him as a friend??!". Sel-fish maybe.

u may say too, relationship is about give and take. it is not calculative as how much u expect to get from what you've given out. but what if a relationship that caused detriment to another, and it feels like doing it out of obligation and not doing it out of love, as it seems like people is taking you for granted, as if u owe them huge buck.

I don't know. Everyday we start our day with a hope. Hope in seeing our loved ones, hope in getting something done, hope to achieve our goal or the day or or something that brings us closer to our goal. But when it comes to hope in a thing that seems to crush the little spirit of you each day, i guess, the hope in it will decrease each day, with the disappoinment and hope of giving up everyday increasing. hmm.... yea, disappointment will increase and hope will decrease, although that disappointment level is so up high but there's little voice inside hoping for something so that it can change the world to a little bit better place to stay.

But, how realistic it can be, the one who keep chasing after the other will start to be tired one day. As, there will be no forever that person keep chasing after the other. Not realistic, not selfish, but, people don't see why they need to continue to chase after the other. Sometimes, people not asking for a favour in return, sometimes appreciation is asked so that they can continue to pour out their love and investment on you either as friends or lovers/couple.

it's not dumping game they're in it now. it's because they cannot find any other way to love that person anymore, but to release that person out of their life. As no matter how much people try, no matter how much they chase after the other, if there's no appreciation, one day, they'll be tired. so, is there forever? patheticly, no. for i think, doing an act without a hope and passion means nothing.

well, at the end of the day, people will say, why do we put ourselves into so many troubles. why can't we just get on with life, move on. Each day, we put a little hope, but it seems like throwing salt into the sea... useless. Since no man is an island, everyone need someone. we're living in a community, that's why we need each other. Can someone say, "i don't need anyone?". What are we seeking each day? Approval or Sense of Belonging. As we stay in a community, we actually cannot run away from being with people, to bear with people and to stay with people. Do u think we can stay alone not needing friends/lovers? Or maybe just family and then jump to start a new family without having to rely/depend on friends. All we need is a boyfriend/girlfriend, a reliable one. Or maybe people just start to become harsh, harsh with life and people without the heart of compassion and love. As without love, hatred lives in people and people cannot stay with each other so often, after knowing of their weaknesses. So, is this coming to a conclusion that changing friends is a better solution? having a few of good/best friends stick to us but having to change circle of friends all the time from time to time after knowing or getting involved in problems in relationships?

So, stick to the 'give and take' principle or 'treat other people like how u want they to treat you'?

I may say, both are equally important. treat other people like how u want them to treat you and at the same time, if you're happy with giving, then give. One day if you're tired and sick of giving when there's no return, i say, there's no return, then stop giving. I don't think that person need your 'investment'. You can move on with other people that i believe, will appreciate you more and bless u in return. It isn't like i wanted a return, but seeing that person smile at me as note of appreciation, I am greatly blessed already in return.

I guess, i can only learn to appreciate the beautiful experience while sun set and i cannot stop the time when the view of the sun set is so nice that u wish that the time just stop there. And today's sun set will not be the same as yesterday and tomorrow's sun set, will not be the same as today. So, i can only say, don't cry for it but appreciate the beautiful moment that it will last in your mind.

PS: don't judge me by what you've just read in this short post, as it's not properly elaborate and you may interpret differently from what i've meant. i also dunno what am i toking about here...