Untitled X

I said a little prayer the other day. In frustration, I pray. People once say, the distance between God and us is between our kneel and the floor. Well, i was driving at the time. Tired with everything that happened, tired with the battle of person. And, tired of myself being tired. I wonder, where is that love that I have so much, that I pour on others. Where is that forgiveness and to forget that I always have. Used to be an optimistic me, now, always turn to the negative side when giving comments. yes, i hate myself being like this. I don't want to be the person who doesn't walk my talk. I hate hypocrytes, and therefore, i don't want myself becoming one. But, i felt so restless.

While bible says, lean not against your understanding but His, i tend to take control on my own. taking decisions and interpret things base on my own way. Actually, not sure why people tend to take control so much, on their own. After all, whatever that you've done, whether it matters or not, whether it's important or not, it doesn't matter anymore. taking revenge for example, after the effort and planning in taking revenge just like how we used to see in movies, after all the revenge, it seems meaningless. Well, I'm not planning a revenge. just an example. Like one of our previous chief minister once said, Heaven have eyes. So, i shall enjoy my everyday life without have to worry. hmm, saying it is easier than doing it.

on the other hand, brother just went back to hometown this morning, after a few days stay here. Was great having him around, having both of us together again. We're so close together, that people used to think that we're twins. But well, now, some people said that i look older. Okay, i shall take that as i look more mature than him.

So ah.... what's next? Going for badminton tomorrow. Progressively making it an weekly activity, which this week is the 2nd week we have badminton. Great. I shall be fit and strong, physically. haha.

It's weekend again, hopefully get to catch up with some studies, which it always fail. I've checked the movie showing in the cinema, none that i wanted to watch. So, i guess that can make me stay at home. Haha.

have a great day tomorrow, and a blessed weekend!

Update IX

The worst feeling...
you're standing in front of that person,
so close that you feel the heat of the body
but yet... can't tell him,
how much you miss him,
how much u care
and how much you love him.
You only manage to smile,
as thou, you're at the peak of losing him.

When is this... going to end.

One week

Today is the 3rd Sunday I'm back in KL. What i've been doing? What I'm up? I know i blog less now and it seems that i'm busy. Yupp, been busy. That's a world-wide used excuse, been busy.

Last Sunday, I went for steamboat with Tracy, Darren and Siew Yeng. The food was great, and the companion was great as well. I always say, no matter how nice is the food, if the companion is not good, it will overall make the night dull. That's why people hate to go dinners, especially when it's your auntie's dunno whose son/daugher got married and you attend the dinner on behalf of your parents, later on after the dinner sure will go for supper, as you didn't have a good meal, though the food is good.

WE had quite a lot of food. Big prawns and shells, which look like the logo of the Shell petrol station. So, if you guys want to go for steamboat, i shall recommend this one. Restaurant 20, situated at Sunway, next to Dominos. I went there twice already, and will go again next time.




Later, on Thursday, 4 of us went for badminton in the morning before class. It was fun, sweating and all. And also fun, looking at people running around chasing after the shuttle cock. I'm not good in it too, did some running as well. It was fun, but till the next day, except for darren who plays a lot, the others complain about muscle pain and butt or thigh pain. Haha. So, next week... swimming?


Yesterday Yeng and me attended the first Youth Service at Church.
It's combined service consist of Secondary Zone, College Zone and Young Adults. It's basically, without the older people. Haha. It was fun. And I didn't know, Juwita Suwito was there. it was the 2nd time i met her. Don't think she remembers me, but i told her we met at one of the Christmas function back in KK. Her album is great, so, go look for it at Canaanland.

Today i slept the whole day. Afternoon had late lunch at MacD. then Yeng and I decided to watch movie. COnfession of Pain. Though late for about 20 minutes, but still manage to be there before the show started (cut of the advertisement).

So, what am I going to do next week? Don't know. I Shall see.

Yesterday and Today

Few nights back....

It was an ordinary night, back at home, surf the net and chat as usual, while trying to do my notes. With the speaker loudly showing off it's potential sound, I was filling up the application form for examinations. And there I go, thinking... and.. became emo....

It has been a great a year and a half, studying law. Great friends, great companion that i get to know, great life, great college life and all. And, soon it's coming to an end. With the bunch of friends leaving next semester to UK, the external programme students are left here to complete the 3 years course here. Yeah, people is leaving again, from my life. Sad.

I'm blessed enough, to have a Uni life for more than 4 years. As I know, after i graduated from the previous degree, I will still be in college phase. But now, next year, I'll soon enter the world of working. Just know that life is not going to be the same as now greatly put fear in me. Especially that with the group of friends (read: supporter) behind my back, not sure where's everyone heading after we graduate. But that's not the point, that's too far away to think of and worry about.

This is going to be the final semester with the twinning programme group of friends, and I'm praying that time don't fly so fast. How pathetic life is, how unreasonable human being, when we have it in our hand, we don't appreciate it. But when it's almost slipping away, then you realise how great is it having it in your hand. I've always been appreciative, I've always been counting my blessing, but, it's not enough. Not feeling contended, in a way, hoping to have more time together.

If only we become less calculative, less digesting, less of expectation and less of judging. We will live life to the fullest. All the best to all my dear friends, in the new year, in the new semester, in the final year being together (hopefully not, as there's still masters programme to do... hehhehe...).

Emo is over =)

1.26am

After a week

I'm back in KL, after a great holiday back at home. With the weddings that i attended and Christmas dinners as well as lots of meals at the restaurants with family and friends, I've gained 2 KG, just in 3 weeks time. But still, I'm still beyond the average level of BMI, due to my height. I still can gain more... hehehe....

In a week, I'm up to...
1. catching up with the gang
2. the water tap at the kitchen broke on the day that i came back.
3. ate 'luk-luk' (steamie) at the pasar malam (night market).
4. bang by a motorcycle while car is not moving.
5. borrowed 5 books from library (haven't start reading any yet)

my life is dramatic, or colourful i can say.

So, with the battle of the book and as expected, battle of human, I'm still coping up. Trying to adjust with the life here, including the traffic here, the amount of people around me, the study stress that I'm getting and the people that i'm meeting, as compare to the life that i have back in hometown, it's just totally different. Thou I'm only away for 3 weeks, but still need time to adjust to the faster pace of life back in KL.

And, my dear Mr Lecturer bugged me to attend class seriously and start revision, so, here I am, being kiasu, borrowed books for photocopy and start hunting for reference books and statute book. Well, it's still time for catching up, hopefully, will start serious study next week. haha!

As for the new year, I haven't think of any new year resolution. Maybe....

1. be not a procrastinator,
2. be more punctual,
3. be more of domineering values and less of compliance,
4. score well in Year 2 of LLB
5. Deeper in Faith
6. Deeper bonding with family

Someone said, a good new year resolution is make no resolution at all. Something like that. Well, for past few years, I did my new year resolution and have a check by the middle of the year to see how am i progressing. It's just something that i want to achieve, hopefully, to set a target and improve myself. Maybe you can do it also.

Have a good weekend :)

Finding Purpose

The blog has turned into not-so personal blog but repeatedly reporting about activities that happened around me lately. Especially with the Christmas season which is just over, it gives me inspiration to blog about happenings and blocked the philosophy side of me. Yeah, the blog has became a more general blog. From a blog of wanting to tell others my experience, it became sort of a blog of want others want to listen/know.

I think, the way of writing changes as my personality changes, from an influencer to a persuader. With a strong Steadiness and Domineering to a Influence and Compliance person. total 100% change. (It's not a, not-another-personality test. Many companies use this test when they employ future employees. Should take a look)

Now, that i don't know the purpose of writing, I might as well, update it once in a while, or just tear the whole blog down.

So much of ME, will make u bored.
So much of YOU, will put me into trouble.
So much of others, well, i dunno so much about other other ppl.

(dun worry, not talking about anyone. it's just me and my personality test.)

Hello 2007

The New Year

The new year hasn't sink in yet and still thinking of the date 2006. Just came back from retreat yesterday, with muscle cramps and bruises as souvenir, not forgetting memories of fighting to win.. my team won of course, as well as bonding and getting to know new friends. We had countdown in welcoming the new 2007, while having barbeuque at the park of the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. Of course, we're not on top of the mountain, just somewhere 6 hours of climb before the peak. There's loads of food to gril and barbeque, while cramping together to get body heat from each other as it's cold up there. Overall, it was fun.

So, it's 2nd of January. While lots of people back to work, or some still working throughout the public holiday, i slept through the whole day. And with the internet connection back to normal, thou not so normal as usual, business back to normal, congesting the internet line trying to get their business done and people like me, trying to get into the online chat, but not sure whether it's the congestion or the internet connection is not back to normal yet, i still can't get into my mailbox. Since i can't access to flickr, so, i can't upload at pictures of the retreat.

Christmas 2006

The celebration was awesome, left me exhausted and skipped dinner, dropped on the couch to sleep on Christmas day. Been busy. Since back for 2 weeks, I've received pressies for birthday and christmas. For those who still 'keeping' my pressie with them, do give it to me. I really really believe in 12 days of Christmas. haha! But please, no undergarments. I've received 2 already. Thanks!

Weddings again

Attended 3 wedding dinners. Had lots of aunties asking when's my turn. That's a normal question asked when your peers getting married. Well, it's not a sad thing but still, have an excuse to enjoy my singlehood. Met lots of relatives and cousins, it became a small reunion for my family. And the toast, LOTS of toasts, made me drunk and left me had diarhhea the next day. Well, being a good girl, that next day's wedding dinner, i just had tea! haha.

So, while flickr can't be accessed at the moment, just bear with the post without photos!