Rant V

It rained again this morning and the office is very cold. It has been raining everyday since Monday. Morning, afternoon and night. But not continuously, as if it has a breakfast, lunch and dinner break, which is good, that we won't be late for work because of the rain that will cause traffic jam. And we get catch up with some personal matters during the lunch time, running around to post office and bank to settle bills. And during the evening when it's peak time when everyone is off from work, rushing to fetch kids, buy dishes/vegetables, catch up with friends for dinner or just going back home straight after work.

what am i saying.... just merely talking about the weather of these few days. I've got lunch appointment with all my colleagues later, but i don't feel like going. Not in the mood of entertaining, or rather meeting people. I'm back to my own world, keeping everything to myself, having a world of my own. Yes, the only time that i have my own world, is during the lunch break when everyone went out for lunch and i just sit at my own desk by myself, listen to music and surf the net. But yeah, exclude those time that i'm in the toilet, other than that, i have people around me, even when i'm sleeping. I am not complaining, but rather, twist around to find ways to make my life easier.

much of the time, i'm just being fake. Yes, i am fake. I pretend to be happy when i am not. I pretend to be an idiot talking crap when i see that the atmosphere where I am in at that moment is down or when war is about to happen. I pretend to be stupid when people is about to throw anger on me, act like i don't know and yet i think of things to talk about to make people happy.

you say, you can't please everyone, you say it's your life, you can do anything you want, anything... as long as you're happy.

but because you are living in a family, a circle, a community, sometimes we just cannot runaway from the responsibility and obligation that we need to take up as the position we are in, as a child, as someone's children, as someone's siblings, as someone's friend and etc.

if only people become less self-centred... life would be easier....

2 minutes to go before lunch.... and i still don't feel like going... yes... i am being immature today, can't differentiate between personal life and work. But at least, i still can smile but not out of the heart, i pretend to do work when i wasn't paying attention....

-continue later-

the rain stopped again, as if giving time for people to have lunch.

I'm back in the office, open up the files and take out all the papers, place on the table everywhere, as if i'm doing work, but actually, i'm surfing net and blogging.. (shh.. don't tell my boss ya...). I just can't concentrate on my work, after reading and reading so many times, i still cannot understand what i'm reading, therefore, better surf net and enjoy myself... kekekeke....

It rained again, suddenly, heavily. It reminded me of the last few times i ran in the rain.........

*listening to.... "through the rain"*

there was a time in college, it rained heavily so i waited. suddenly it stopped. it seemed to me that it will stop raining for a while, so i quickly ran out, towards my car.. which is.. 2 minutes walk from college. just about 30 steps, it rained again, heavily. Gosh.. i look back to college and i look front. I continued walk. quite embarassing to walk back to college. i was all wet. lucky enough, i'm wearing black that time.

oh.. another embarassing one.. i was walking back home from college, rained heavily, and i still remember, i was wearing a cream colour pants. but, wearing a black underwear. *blush*. a girl friend chase after me from behind and told me. *blush* i got my jacket and tied around my waist, quickly walked back home.

the last time that i remember was, walking from car to the apartment with addy. we shared an unbrella, but it rained heavily, that half of me was wet and half of her was wet.. but i think she enjoyed it, because she screamed happily all the way until we reached the lobby of the building.... *roll eyes and shake head*

okay.. i shall stop. it's 5pm now.. keke....

time to go back home! God Bless! Have great weekend!