Suddenly I felt like writing my diary again. Yes, I keep diary, just to keep track to what had happen in my life, sweet especially and sour, bitter as well. The last entry was, 4th June 2006.
I guess i had too much fun till i don't have time to write my diary.
One thing that caught me was I wrote about a friendship that i had before, or what my sista called love-hate relationship. Funny, hate it but miss it. Why would I? I guess because I was lonely. Or it's just because i don't want to change, to comfortable with a lifestyle now that i'm lazy to change. Well, i thought I will take sometime to cope and move on with life. Who knows, the next entry was, ... met new friends and had lots of fun.
Maybe you read it as me being feeling-less, or a realistic person. But the thing is, after staying away from home for a quarter of my life, I've learnt to move on very fast. I need to learn, in order to be happy and survive. I don't want my smile, my laughter, depends on a particular friend only. It feels like possesive/clingy. But well, after staying here for so many years and graduated and study again, many many people came and we shared life together. After that, they left and I'm all alone again. I hate the repeating process of re-adjustment of life after one that i cling onto so much left me. Hey, maybe it sounds so wrong to you, but, I'm perfectly know what I'm talking here. yea, i used to be a clingy person, now no longer. I expanded my network of friends. But not the point that I don't feel belong to a gang or community. Maybe I felt so much secured with what I have now, and not to depends so much on anyone, i then learn to be more independant. And not being calculative, Make life much easier.
Get a sleep, tomorrow would be a better day. I suppose, If u start your day with a smile, that's a choice u know, you will see things differently. It's just that heart that matters, how your heart feel things.
Random I know, but i just want to share. :)
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